May 22 Things can go awry

Kids dropped off tick . Check the waves ,hmmm . Fuck it’s a fraction small . Options ? Get in the car and head north but oh no I realised the reason I had checked the waves at the previous location was there were restrooms nearby . Now that I’m in the car driving I realise there are frequent bowel movements and emissions  . Shit ! ‘Go home and give it a miss I say to my self . There’s plenty of house work to do anyway ‘.Back home I’m all depressed as the forecast on the surf front . It looks bleak for the next week .So I say to myself ‘Howie grow some balls and head  back towards Elporto ,what could go wrong?Now this bit of coast is densely populated ,hardly any parking and roads that are a real head fuck I find the one car park that I know that is in the area after trying to find somewhere,anywhere else .This  place makes me paranoid as it feels local .Abit of grime mixed with a bit of crime.I decide yep I’m parked in the corner with a wall shielding most of the car to prying eyes so i’l hide the keys today .The normal spot under the tailgate on top of the spare tyre is where I go but I push them over a bit deeper.Clunck ! Oh no what the fuck they’ve dropped into the spare tyre hubcap which of course is fastened hard to the under carriage. Holy shit it’s panic stations now . I can’t reach the c…t s. I try to squeeze my hand through the hubcap holes but can only just touch the fuckers with my fingertip .This is fuckn embarrassing ,the cars locked i’m in my wetsuit with my board and I’m in the surfn version of the fuckn hood .I decide the only thing I can do is walk or run to Emma’s work which must be 10 ks away . Now I’m going to look like a fuckn complete tool walking through heavy traffic in my surf getup and then explaining to security at my wife’s work who i am. They’re likely to think I’m some fuckn mado Nooooo!!! I scream to myself ‘Get those keys you dumb fuck ! So I jam my arm in there to the point of dislocation and after a couple of minutes I push the key across to the edge of the hubcap hole and pinch them out with my other hand . But as I drop with exhaustion my arm is trapped . Can you fuckn believe it !I try to move it but my shoulder goes into spasm. I’m about to yell for help but I know I’m totally defenceless .Visions of being in the news with cops and fierys trying to get me out flood over me . Holey shit  Howie  you’ve done it this time . Now I really am about to cry  but i know I’ve just gotta get low and contort myself and rip it out . Done it . Get the surf in and realise . ‘Hey there is something to write today .’ Yep that’s how it’s done folks,trust in me to be practical and measured the offending arm pays the price