June28 Responsible parenting 

I read my children my rights over their school summer break.9 weeks . I know I’ve told you this already but I will repeat it ,9 weeks before they go back to school.My rights were simple :I’m going to keep doing what keeps me sane and occasionally happy. You guys are welcome to come along for the ride if it suits me. There isn’t much to it.We have breakfast that I serve to you at your request whilst I warn you with increasing blood pressure and raising voice levels,interspersed with expletives muttered under my breath that the bickering fucking stops now! We then follow dad into the car to drive down to the surf (only 2 to 3 ks away,no we can’t walk or ride cause I carry everything and Leroy on my shoulders).Upon finding the wave I’m happy with Tex comes out with me whilst  I responsibly sit my 7 year old on the beach in front of the said spot. I tell Leroy ‘you can’t go in over your knees and youre to stay within the lines I’ve made in the sand.’Of course these lines are used as markers to guide me where I need to stay within, to be in line to catch the better waves,oh and to see if I can see Leroys blonde head .Tex on the other hand has become a burden ,as my attempt to bond and help my son becomes a slanging match as he reckons it’s all my fault that he isn’t becoming the next Kelly Slater after 4 surfs.Eventually he wares me down and I tell him to stop fuckn sooking and go in . Actually , it’s a full blown verbal assault where we both go straight to the bottom of the barrel.The other surfers out there are real impressed with the love we show each other. Yep we’re making a real Aussie impression I reckon. Anyway , I paddle in every 15 mins to check that Leroy hasn’t been taken for a walk or decided to swim under water for a while . I don’t get why all these other families keep looking at me , must of been cause I’ve shaved now . See , what I’ve found is ive lost my mojo and I’m out of form . Today , I left the kids at  home .Promised them McDonalds if they could wait here and guard the house whilst I went for some salt water therapy. Who could believe it ,the form came back and now I’m happy. We aren’t disfunctional , I promise . You can come and stay with us ,i’l look after your kids .