July30 can’t escape it

I’ve always been a bad sport at heart. I hate losing and have a fixation with the pain of defeat. Who would you barrack for? St.kilda of course .The club that has doled out that the most painful history.Coming to LA was a form of escape on many levels for yours truly.The winning and mostly losing could be insulated from my heart and brain  by being on the other side of the world. No,I think I need to go to another planet to truly get away from it .Fear and anxiety . You wake up with it . Shit I don’t have to pick my phone up and look at the scores. I certainly won’t stay up at 230am and listen to the live radio on my app, for I’d never sleep and I’d be a plain old miserable prick all day .Now the saints aren’t good enough and are a long way off but you check the scores and are relieved you’ve lost but havn’t been smashed for a change.Then you watch the video showing them losing from 10 points in front with 56 seconds to go and the weekend is thoroughly ruined.You go surfing and everything’s negative . ‘Fuckn waves are too small, the wind is onshore and how did those useless ##*#*s lose from there ‘,are on repeat ,swirling through your head .You come back and everyone’s happy . Emma says ,’how come your in a bad mood ‘? ‘Im not in a bad mood I just hate life cause I barrack for a fucked up team ‘,I reply.  ‘Great ! You live in LA who cares .’ Em says. So I drop a couple of panadols and we go to Leroys bball. There’s a dread that infects the morale .’I’m at kids sport , get over it and enjoy Leroy play bball ,you miserable fuck’ ,my schizophrenic other half pleads. So we sit down and watch the bulldogs bball team play their last game . Only 4 kids of ten have shown up and Leroy and Spencer ,the two youngest by nearly 18 months are two of them .Both barely top 3 feet tall. Poor fuckers are gonna get smashed. Against the odds they are competitive and with just 90 seconds to go they steal a 2 pt lead . Everyone’s  animated and excited but a dread fills my heart , this smells of last night . And so it happens . The other mob tie the scores up with 50 seconds left .’ Ohh get fucked ‘,I say to myself . Emma and all the other parents clap the other team for scoring, but the good sport in me says don’t encourage the opposition we want those little fuckers to lose. Our boys take it to the basket and on the the third shot a beautiful looping attempt from the edge of the key drops on to the ring, fluffs the net ,does a full 360 and kicks out.’Its a fucking nightmare ,’I scream to my self . With 20 seconds left the other mob grab the rebound and rush to the other end ,….. and miss . The kids desperately fight for the groundball and the ref stops the clock and says ,’take it from the sideline ‘ …… gators. Just as I’m about to scream ‘bullshit ref ‘,I slap my hand over my mouth .Fuck , not another Robby Gray moment , please god let it be a draw and that will make up for last night . …. So the kid passes it in and one of our boys gets a hand on it ,only for it to deflect into the hands of the kid who has nearly scored all their points . Yep ,…….. the little fucker steps back and loops the ball over his head without looking at the basket and drops it in . The buzzer goes and a miraculous finish  is complete . We’ve been beaten by a beautiful last play ,   again .     St. kilda this is all your fault . I’m totally fuckn miserable now . I’m such an admirable sporting parent .Emma and all the other parents get around the exhausted kids and congratulate them for a great effort against the odds . I do what I do best and quietly sulk . For today felt like it was truly preordained. Sometimes it’s just your turn . Even on the other side of the world you get your chance to lick the pain out of the losers bowl. Ah well it’s off to watch the LA dragons afl team play now . See, we can’t let it go , sport means more to your average Melburnian ,no matter where you live.