September14 it’s all my fault 

Emma left for Paris on Saturday afternoon , all I had to do was mind Tex and his mates and then drive them to a bah mitzvah.Easy …..ish .Of course things went down before Emma had even got on the plane . Texys little mate decided to jump off the balcony into the pool and got caught . My good mate Doug had finally hooked his fish and ensuing drama followed .You all know I love Doug butI best leave it alone . It was my responsibility to look after the boys so I guess I’m at fault for not having eyes in the back of my head , as Leroy was inside and they were outside.Yep I could’ve and should’ve been a hard arse and not let four 12 year olds use the pool while Leroy stayed inside and watched a movie but I’m loose , I admit it .After the apologies and grovelling to Doug all I had to do was drive the kids around .We rushed to one kids house to explain to his mum that he would be uncontactable as he left his phone at the synagogue. I volunteered to go find it as I had a feeling that maybe I could redeem myself . Once that box was ticked ,it was off to the crown plaza in Redondo Beach to the bah mitzvah , running late of course . After finding a car park and filling the meter ( always gotta pay) we hit the reception for only Tex to ask if we had Davids present ?”No “, I replied. Tex was mortified that for the 2nd time today I’d stuffed him up after making him apologise and now forgetting the present and his mate Scotts . They were both sitting on the bench . Hhhhhhhhhhh..Ok , il go back and get it after I find Scotts phone . ‘Is that all right’? (You little fuck )So off I went back through reception in my boardies and singlet with Leroy in tow . We get to the synagogue and park next to the playground, it was all closed up . Shit , i’l just jump up onto the fence then . After a couple of minutes it occurred to me that we stood out like dogs balls and passing cars were slowing down . It looked like we were casing the joint . Shit , let’s not worry about the phone , I could easily get shot trespassing.Eventually I got back to the reception with both presents in tow and even written in both boys cards , with Leroy tagging along and constantly whining about why he had to get dragged through this . 2 hours later and I’m finally back home having my 1st beer at 830 . At 10 pm I’m loose and relieved with Leroy in bed when I get a message from Tex telling me that he’l be back with 2 mates for sleepover .Wtf , I thought you were staying with your mates . Guess I won’t open that bottle of red then?2 fucking hours later they are dropped off by one of the other parents . I’m sober , tired  and then I’ve gotta defend my bed setting up system . Apparently I’m trying my hardest to stuff up their whole day .’ Ok , I’m really sorry Tex ,it’s all my fault, I know I’ve been unhelpful so now if you say another word I might just fuckn kill you . ……. Goodnight boys .’   Tex’s mates were pretty quiet the next day .     Yep it’s all my fault