September 26 it can’t be 

Just read that the mighty Starbucks is about to invade Italy. It reckons it can take on the might of Italys coffee culture and introduce a new style of coffee drinking . I laughed my way to a hernia. Lavazza and Illycafe have quickly drawn up plans to add coffee houses to Milan to counteract the oncoming invasion . Please , please , pleeeese !!! Come to LA as well . The South Bay needs you . I havn’t bought a takeaway coffee  since I’ve been here and havn’t had a coffe to our standards yet . Yes I can go for a drive as there are apparently some Aussies and Kiwis who are out there , but really ? I’m not gonna drive through this jungle just to get a nice brew . No I’m  celibate , coffee style at least .I still drink Nescafé instant (US style , it’s a bitter version), so I guess im still getting it , but it’s no pleasure, just a need fulfilled. Instant coffee and porn , yep they can have a role when your home alone .I just got over the shock of the ‘unicorn frappe’ , a hideous concoction that tasted like a fruit tingle smoothie that sent my kids into hyper shock . Yes , I fucked up , I shouldn’t of went there , but apparently they were the only kids in the world who were missing out . Now Starbucks is selling its coffee milkshakes and anything else with pumpkin spice .Its Halloween you dumb fucks , that’s why they’re  doing it . Yeah , yeah it’s over a month away but it’s Pumpkin season . Burnt coffee with loads of sugar , whipped cream and a sprinkling of ginger , cloves , cinnamon and other stuff all thrown into a giant plastic sipper cup and straw . What could be better? .. Maybe the intense smell of pungent green timber that just assaulted my nostrils as I get out of the car to get Leroy from school .   Ahhhh , there’s an idea , ganja coffee . Caffeine and dope , it’s a certain best seller . The ingredience will counterbalance each other beautifully, makes no sense but that’s why it will be big . ……. ciao gringos