February 24 voices

Emma’s home from Europe , but she’s come back as sick as a dog . The flu has hit her hard . I’ve taken Leroy to tennis , he’s played well at basketball against his school mates and his team chalks a sweet precious victory . Tex is out , the house is quiet . Shit what to do? The surf? It’s onshore but light , small with an incoming tide . The surf has been dreadful for 6 weeks . Winters meant to be prime time but it’s been almost totally flat . Fuck it ,I declare . I’m going for a drive to Elporto ( 10 mins) . What’s to lose ? It looks shit , is shit but I feel good . Then it’s starts : ” Don’t do it you stupid fuck , it’s not worth it ” I’ve pulled into a parking spot and the meter has 2 hours paid on it . “There it is stupid, it’s telling you to go out . ” ” Nah you’re wasting ya time dickhead . Have a look , it’s fucked up bad . ” “Nah , there’s that little right down there in front of the chevron plant , it’s starting to work ” “Ya fuckn kiddn dickhead ” .We ( I ) walk down for a look , there’s 1 in 20 that are rideable, yep the odds are good …….I think ? I head down there in my wetsuit , the icy onshore wind has picked up , the wave ( what wave?) looks pure mush . “It’s cool dude ,head out and make a fool of yourself . ” What am I meant to do ? Walk back in my wetsuit totally dry and get dressed in the car park like a complete fuckstick “. Out I head , I miss a couple but I think this is gonna work . 20 minutes later still nothing . ” You fuckhead , I told you !! Two waves that you get a 5 meter ride . Winner winner chicken dinner .. dick lips .” “Fuckup idiot , I know I’m going to hook onto a couple . ” An hour later and I’m beating myself up . I said I wasn’t drinking tonight. I said I need a clean head in the morning . I looked at my star sign ( scorpio) , it said be careful tomorrow, there’s heat coming your way , don’t bite back . ” Fuck it you need a drink . I told you this was a waste of time ” “Righto , righto . Fuckyou , if I have to listen to you anymore I’m going to get anesthetised. And then it happens , I get it , ride it to shore and pull off a lame move in the shore break . Laughing … ” I told you it was 1 in 20 dude , you got it , now let’s go . I can hear the pups barking ,they’ve got your name on them . ” I look back , yeahhhh that was worth it . “Look at it this way dude ,if you were in Mornington you would’ve got back from work on a Saturday and pulled the lawn mower out . You wouldn’t have got out there . That’s a positive . ” All right you dickheads stop bickering and let’s gets some wolf pups ( beer ) and get stuck in into it , we’ve earned it .”Do you have to be crazy to be schizophrenic, cause these voices need a beer ?It is Saturday night . Justified….. right ? I’m not crazy ….yet .