“ Oi Oi “ Aus…. “

” Yeah ! We’re back baby ” , I yell to Emma . ” What are ya talking about”… “Second story in a couple of weeks “,I yell . ” Ha” , Emma replies . She’s pissed cause she’s gotta take her headphones off , interrupting the very important moment the Batchelor proposes to the third girl in 24 hours . “The Aussies have hit one of the lead stories for the news tonight , look”, I point to the tv . Then the tv switches to amazing scenes on a cruise ship off the coast of Australia . “Fuck you , get off im ” ya beeeep , no beeep . Don’t hit moi , ya beepn arsbeeep , Ahhh , help him ya beeeps , No beepn beeps . Screams , muffles , bodies on top of bodies , semi pixilated out and barely a word left to hear once tv editing has covered any bad words . I look over at Emma and I give her a big American high five .”Booom therrrrye yooo go “, I say with my best American accent .We both look at each other and laugh . That beats the back story a week early about the kangaroo that boxed the old guy . Several people asked me about it , but it’s old news . Something I’ve seen repeatedly for the last 35 years . I usually replied that after this photo they probably shot the kangaroo and made a shitload of burgers out of him . That brought a startled response . “Oh yeah we shootm and eatm all the time . We sell it in the supermarket, it’s a healthy lean meat “. You can see the ticking in their eyes , the killing bambi type of sympathy ,and the thought that we must be savages down there who don’t care if they make the kangaroo extinct . “I laugh and reassure them that there are plenty of Roos to go around , we’ve even got a footy team named after them . If we kill all the Roos that team would have to change its name and that would be bad .” They didn’t quite understand….. I dunno why . Back to the cruise from hell : Now I’m going to take a wild guess here , and probably cross the boundary of political correctness and just say that I think I can stereotype the family that was kicked off the boat . I’m just guessing that’s all …. but I feel that this crew might be from the western suburbs of Sydney and maybe they’re a newer gen……… ok i’l stop there . Still the fuckers have put us back on the world stage and that can only be good …… can’t it? Go you fuckn Aussies !! Ozzy ozzzy ozzzy Oi Oi Oi !