March 8 Equal rights

I’m all for it , equal rights is an important issue ,just as long as it doesn’t include me . I don’t want to exclude anyone , especially in the water , but I’ve made some exceptions. Out in the surf if you’re a boogie boarder , long boarder , SUP boarder , knee boarder , surf ski or jet ski I’m ordering you out of the water . I just don’t want to offend anyone , that’s all. Now, now I’m only joking . In fact if you’re anyone of these guys you are catching waves in LA at the moment . The other guys (me) , we’re not. The waves have barely hit 2 foot in the last 3 months , it’s been a major let down . This is apparently the best time of year for surfing , not this year. Yep i’l spew up if another person tells me the previous 6 months have been the worst they can remember . Waves are a rarity , you’ve gotta take what you can at the moment . The problem is the SUP boarders and long boarders have been king for a while now . Take today ;I’m desperate , I’m going out there , I’ve spotted a cheeky lefthander that has gone unnoticed . I slip out there and wait patiently and proceed to miss the next 6 waves as theyre slightly too small . Finally I get one . Cool , I’m in , but wait ….a couple of SUPs are starting to shift closer . .. I know what you fuckers are up to , you wanna take my spot . You fuckers are not satisfied that you’ve got the easy option and a large advantage as it is . You now want to move in on one of the only shortboardable waves in the whole stretch , which I have found . One dude is in board shorts ( the water is cold , you need the full winter wetsuit , even booties ) , with a fo hawk , calf Tatts and a pumped up body . To make matters worse , his mate is all wettied up and can really surf the SUP well . Sure enough they’re picking off the waves and I’m left to watch . I’m pissed , I’m daydreaming that the fo hawk dude is attacked by a shark and has his leg ripped off . I paddle out and save him before the other leg is ripped off . Then it dawns on me , he’l still have one leg left and he’l be able to use his one good leg to put a flipper on to go boogie boarding with. Nah fuck it , you’re not getting saved . Fo hawk boy leaves the water and then starts shadow boxing on the beach , sprinting back and forward with high knees and generally flexing and strutting . It gets worse , his mate also leaves the water . He peels his wettie down to the waste and then shadows boxes his mate for the next 2 minutes . I’m actually shaking my head in disgust , missing a few waves in the process . Finally, I got a nice little one and then sure enough as I look over my shoulder , the two dickwads are pointing at my little spot . Yep they’re back , talking loud , laughing , yahooing and making a fucking mess of my day . Pricks … just once , only this once….. would I like to see that shark . Only a leg , that’s all I’m asking .Actually maybe two , just enough to slow them down for a bit . That’s fair , that’s equality , I reckon