The field of reams

Talk about weird , I’m not entirely sure of what I’m doing , but here goes . Toby picks me up and we drive through the backstreets , it’s dark , Leroy’s already gone to sleep . We arrive at a dimly lit field out the back of a school . Toby assures me it will be a crackup . I follow Toby over like some shy child . I’m introduced to Julian , Lee , Joe , Paul and a few other blokes . Julian suggests Toby and I throw a few to each other . I drop the first 4 or 5 , the softball is twice the size of a baseball . It can easily slip out of your catching glove . There’s already a game on and you can hear the banter . Some guys are sucking on cans of light beer before they go out to bat , then there’s the clouds of funny smoke . Theres all sorts; rough hicks ( bogans ) , young guys , older white collar , some that would trip over there own feet and of course there were some sharks who knew how to play a bit . We are called in by Julian and the jibes and joking about at least coming second were at play . I’m told I’m catcher , WTF!! Ya mean I have to mask up and squat behind the batter . Talk about thrown into the deep end . I look around and start walking over to the home plate , can’t see any protective gear . Jesus , help me now .Turns out all I have to do is stand back and retrieve any loose pitches . To call it a pitch is an over statement . The ball is merely lobbed . 2 balls a walk , 2 foul hits you’re out and 1 strike out. The opposition slam on 15 or so runs in their first dig , I just watch as the ball sails around the outfield ,happy that it’s not me out there dropping tracer bullets and long sky balls . We are into bat but after 3 minutes we are back into the field without getting to 1st base . “Troy your out at right field “, Ok here we go . The innings goes by and no action , I like it . I’m into bat , fancy myself , gonna crush this fucker . Tink , I dribble it back at the pitcher , Leroy would not be impressed . Turns out the pitcher has a fair veranda over the tool shed and can’t pick the ball up . I eventually get around to home base and we score 5 . I’m feeling good , and then it’s my turn …,.,,, Troy you got this !!” , fuck this sky ball looked like it was dropping at 1st base but keeps on coming . The thing floats through the lights and I’m right under it , until it starts to slice towards my left shoulder . It drops into my glove as a soft as a baby , I actually didn’t see it go in or feel any whack . I look at my glove and there it is , like a snow cone , the ball half protruding the tip of the glove . I throw it in with complete surprise and encouragement from the lads , but there’s after humm . Shit , I havn’t have I . There’s a small dull wave of pain spreading like a distant shockwave deep in the top of my hamstring . I feel ok , but when I move to stretch my right side I know it’s there . I’m too embarrassed to say anything . Nah , nup , no, not happening. It’s in my mind , like my 2 s comeback , my super rules come back , the dads v kids game , 5 of my last 30 runs and now my softball … beginning . Struck down at the peak of my , Ok you get it . I bat again and suffer the ignominy of been struck out 1 st pitch . Apparently a Bacardi and diet sprite at the bar to those that suffer this fate . I’m fuckn spewin . What a dick . My own 7 year old son would send that to the outfield . We get smashed by 25 runs and celebrate with high 5’s . We just finished an honourable 2nd . We got reamed . I ‘l be back