Did I tell you I was soft ?

Ok , my buddy next door has rang me 6 times in 2 days . Told you I made a mistake or 3 . Now , I’ve got another friend who’s gonna give Mike ( ok , it’s Marcus) a run for his money . I say friend super loosely . It’s more that after a while ,I’ve let a couple of borderlines into my circle of 1 . That circle is now 3 , but it ain’t no circle .Its a fucked up shape of a ball bag right now. You see I’ve met a guy through class that has decided to attach himself to me . He is a far travelled , eccentric guy who is on the edge . He also is a brilliant therapist but has a personality that is forthright and confronting . Ok , I’m soft . I’ve given him time and he wants to teach me ….everything . Today while working with him he invited me to take a drive with him up to Palos Verdes . He wanted to show me his bike route ( he was once a world class cyclist …. apparently) .I said “ok” . You know when you say ok but don’t mean it , cause you know this is gonna get ‘tropical ‘ . Sure enough I jump into his Porsche Boxster and before long he’s got his dope pipe out , puffing away whilst weaving through traffic 20 miles over the speed limit . Fuck ……. here we go . He offers me a gasp on his pipe and I oblige . I need to be sedated , and I’m locked in now , so I better just ride this out . As we get through traffic he lets his baby stretch out along the bends . We are only travelling at about 160ks an hour. I’m trying not to focus , but all I can see is me being ripped apart as our Porsche loses traction at a 100 miles an hour and rolls, or should I say flies off the cliffs of Palos Verdes .The engine is revving and throttling whilst my buddy approaches blind corners , overtaking , breaking late , cutting off other cars and bating them into street battles. Fuck me dead …. did I say I make a mistake or 4 , and all in one week . Eventually we ascend to the top of the hill looking over Trump Golf Course At this stage I’m relieved , until we start going down …. or should I say ,fucking flying ! He has the Porsche grinding , jumping sideways as it fights to hold traction on bends that slide out over 300 feet drops . Oh Howie ..,,,, you’ve fucken misjudged this badly . It ain’t getting tropical , it’s getting apocalyptic. It becomes clear , I’m gonna die in California … today . I knew I shouldn’t of toked on that pipe . 160 ks plus paranoia don’t mix . Did I say I was dumb ? Eventually we get down onto the coastal road and ‘old mate ‘ has backed off , until he gets overtaken by a hotted up Nissan Skyline . …. This can’t be happening . We are now in a high speed street drag along a coastal road with traffic and sweeping bends and hills that meet sheer cliff drops …. Did I tell you I can make a mistake ? We fly up side by side with this dude . He’s a tough looking Mexican hombre who’s up for the fight .. but my pilot is a fucken kamakaze , crossing double white lines on a blind corner , overtaking , shutting down the brakes and veering back in , cutting off the skyline . Ohh fuck this dude is pissed , but he ain’t gonna beat a madman in a Boxster . Approaching a set of lights turning red my man guns it through ridiculously late . The skyline brakes hard . Thank fuck. Dying in a high speed drag race or being shot at a set of lights was not how I thought it would end . It’s over , we are on the way home and I’m starting to breathe . I’m thinking I’m gonna blog about this but no one will believe it . But it ain’t over yet . He pulls into a coastal community with a steep wide open road . I’m instructed to get in the drivers seat and follow him down the road as he skateboards down , banking from one edge to the other . I’m to act as a barrier from cars following from the rear . I follow him as flies at high speed . I’m preying he doesn’t crash , as i’l have to drive his car back with him to emergency . By this time we’ve got 15 minutes to get back for school drop off . … Of course it works out fine as we only need 8 minutes . We get back to the school and I’m dropped off out front as the engine is revved up nice and high for all the tennis mums to see my entry . I’ve got 5 minutes , so I go to my car and slump into the front seat …… . Did I say I can make a mistake ? I was gonna keep this quiet , Emma wouldn’t be impressed. But fuck it , I had to tell you ..,,, Only in America