Yep…….Mushrooms

Knock knock . That can mean only one thing : Marcus . Everyday , sometimes on multiple occasions he’l be at our door . “Hey , Troy and Emma , do you want to go down to Hermosa Fiesta with me and party while we watch the bands . ” I look over at Emma with a smirk . As if ! “Nah , mate we’ve got Tex throwing up , so we are gonna take it easy . “. He comes in close to me and whispers ; ” that’s perfect , leave them here and come out with myself and a few of my friends .” He gestures to me to come out onto the road . ” Come on , what’s the matter with you Troy ? I’ve got shrooms and edibles to take before we go .” ” Mate , you got what ? Did you say we can go and have steak and mushrooms ? ” , I always like to bait him . I mean for Christ’s sake he wants me to go down to our local town festival high on magic mushrooms and weed during the middle of the fucking day , where I’m very likely to run into school parents . Did I tell you I was nearly 50 and he 70 ! ” Nooooo ! Troy , I’m talking about mushrooms that get you off your face , it’ll be awesome .” ” Nah mate , I like my mushrooms on top of a pepper sauce with a chunk of Angus underneath it .” ” You don’t get it Troy ! These mushrooms will have you buzzing , you’ll be practically flying down there . They’re not what you buy at the supermarket. “. I start laughing …… ” I’m fucking joking Marcus , but no I don’t need to go down to town and start hallucinating that I’m Charlie in the chocolate factory or to be talking to people I know while I think their dog is a fucking Lion or tiger , especially in the middle of the day . Nah mate i’l leave that to you , i’l even drive you there if you like ?” Emma is not impressed .She says I’m just facilitating his needs , but I just want him out of our hair . I drive him to his friends house …… they’re 25 years old . On the way he tells me how he met his Australian wife . Says he met her in a cult , eventually worked his way up and become an influencer in the Florida region . He shook money out of the members family’s . Says he was known as el tiburon , aka ‘the shark ‘ . His boss was in regular contact with a bloke named Tom Cruise , one of the clubs main financiers and influencers . I started laughing and called Bullshit ! He gets angry with me and tells me it’s true and thats how he met and married his 2nd wife , an Aussie . “Troy , what’s the point in me making this shit up ? It’s fucking true , they nearly ruined my fucking life ! You can’t make this shit up !” “Fuck ,you sure you haven’t had a kilo of those mushrooms on toast this morning ? ” , I bait him ” Noooo , Troy !” ” I’m only joking Marcus ,

now get out of my car and i’l see you tomorrow, ” I’m hoping it’s a week .It’s a quiet day , later,I hear him talking loudly . He’s with two young guys , they are calling him grandpa . They fly off in a new black Mercedes sports car . Good , I can relax on the deck and have a beer in peace . At 10 pm it’s quiet , I hear a car pull up and stumbled footsteps . He’s shuffling towards our front door . Fuck me dead he’s here again . ” What’s up ” I say . “Those guys left me at a restaurant with the bill . I couldn’t pay it so I’ve gotta go back plus I’ve lost my keys and I need your help to get me in the house as Teddy ( his dog ) is locked inside. “. ” Hmmmmm , I’m guessing the mushrooms were good? Not talking about at the restaurant either . “. “Are you still picking on me .Oh , please Troy what am I to do ? “. I look back at Emma , she’s shaking her head with her lip curled up . I’ve had 4 beers at 6and half percent . I go over and straddle the next door neighbors balcony and pop off the fly screen with a screw driver . It’s a 4 meter drop , I stretch over the l. 5 meter gap and climb in . It’s only later that I think of how things could’ve gone wrong . Not to mention that any chance of tapping Emma on the shoulder had vanished . Fuck Next day he tells me I missed out ,but the young guys fucked him over and that they’d had a heap of ‘blow’ ” But Troy , next time i’l let you know when I get some more mushrooms and we’l have a great time on them . “. ” Marcus , I only like button mushrooms , they taste good with a hint of garlic and butter “. “Nooo Troy ” I cut him off “Never mind “