Driving Lessons

We couldn’t avoid it any longer . After confronting our written test at the DMV ( department of motor vehicles ) we were happy to steer clear of the happiest little place in LA ……. not . Only problem is that after 12 months if you haven’t done your driven test you must re sit the written . The written isn’t easy so it’s time for driving lessons . 2 hours! Emma 1st me 2nd . Off we go , driving a hybrid electric . I’m trying to keep both hands on the steering wheel and then there’s the speed limit . I don’t even know what the speeds are on the roads around he , I just do my own thing . I haven’t been booked yet , seems pretty hard to . Mario takes me out to Torrance , it’s sort of like Frankston in its size and traffic volume . We are driving along a major thoroughfare talking away when suddenly he’s slamming on my brakes . “Troy , didn’t you see the stop sign . That’s an automatic fail ” You’re fucking kidding me Mario , we shouldn’t have to stop and give way for a small off road like that , and the yellow line has been worn away . That’s bullshit “. He laughs and says ” the sign is still there and it is red with the word stop on it ” . Ok I didn’t see it , didn’t expect it and should’ve stopped . This is one of the absurd traffic setups that exists over here . Stopping at every cross intersection for smaller roads , crazy. A roundabout would make more sense and only at bigger intersections . The little roads should give way to the bigger . Not here . Later I fail a 2nd time when he asks me to turn right on a red light , you can do that here . I do , there’s traffic coming from the left so I pull tight into the nearest inside right lane . I start to accelerate so I can merge back into the middle . “Troy pull into the 1st road on your right . You just had an automatic disqualification. You turned into the bike lane .” ” I know , but surely common sense prevails and you merge out of it . It’s the size of an entire traffic lane for Christ’s sake .” “No Troy , you can’t ever turn into a bike lane .” I’m laughing and shaking my head . “Mate , this is another ridiculous little road rule that shouldn’t be here .” This is part of the route and a deliberate trap to catch out unsuspecting drivers on their test . What you notice is the state of the roads ; poorly marked and signed , speed limits displayed on small white signs in poor visible locations , walk crossings painted in different colours and configurations in every town . Here in Torrance the crossings are just faded lines , another trap awaiting test day . It’s actually harder to obey the rules than to just use common sense and flow with traffic . I even came across the 1st 3 way green traffic light . He wants me to turn left on the green light ; I wait for the oncoming car to advance , he doesn’t . “Troy , what are you waiting for , he is waiting for his own green light facing him . This is a 3 way traffic light .” Crazy …. I can’t describe it any better , apparently there was a sign saying 3 way light . It’s something I’ve never seen before ……. anywhere ! ” That is fuckn stupid Mario . Why can’t we have normal lights with arrows for Christ’s sake ! No wonder there’s so many accidents over here ” He just nods his head and smiles , ” Get ready Troy they’l more than likely take you through here .” The test doesn’t require you to reverse park , or drive on the freeway ( so many here ) because there was too many accidents and fails . Mario takes me through some ridiculous hand singles if the indicator doesn’t work . We reverse the car back in a straight line , you have to look back through the seats , I didn’t and was told I’d lose points for that . Also I’m too close to the gutter and should be 18 inches off ( half a fucking meter , so I can get side swiped ! ) , if you touch the gutter it’s an automatic fail . Yeah I know a really important mistake …..? Finally we leave to head home . I realise I’ve got the handbrake on when I start to move , so quickly step it off …. “Troy that is an automatic fail too “. I look over at Mario and say ” Of course it is , because its a really major sign that you’re a danger to the roads .” He shakes his head and bursts out laughing . This Friday I take the test at 1145 am. I should pass , but this test isn’t based on total common sense . I’m confident on the roads over here , and that’s saying something but the test …… not so .