No comprehendo

“Drive through it is then , dirty ole Macca’s , ……. ” Yep , i’l have the eggn bacon muffin thanks , and i”l get it in a meal as well I think . Plus i’l throw a chocolate Frappuccino on top of that “. Mistake number 1 as an Aussie … too many words in a row . “Excuse me sir ? She replies in a confused tone . …………… “Can I pleeese ……. have the ….. egg and bacon muffin in the meal … deeee…al . ” What drink would you like sir ?” “Coffee , please” “Creama and sugar sir ” yes please 1 sugar and creama … Silence . She didn’t understand the last bit of the coffee order and I still haven’t ordered Leroy’s chocolate Frappuccino . ” Excuse me sir , do you want sugar and creama ? “. ” Ahhh yes throw a sugar and some creama in the coffee .” Mistake number 2 …. keep it simple stupid , no extra words like throw and seperate the sugar order from the creama . Eventually we’re happy with the order and she tells me it’s cash only today . That explains why this McDonalds has no queues at 9am on a Saturday . Anyone who really knows me knows I don’t do queues and it’s the only reason I succumbed to Leroys request for McDonald’s breakfast. “Ok , only cashola then . “. ……..”Excuse me sir ?” ” “Don’t worry I’m carrying coin it’s all good .” Leroy is looking at me and reaching over to put his hand in front of my mouth whilst I start to laugh . There’s silence and I know she hasn’t got s clue what I said . I drive around to the window instead of explaining further . In the confusion the poor girl has forgotten the coffee . “Ya can’t have brekkie without a coffee and young pup ( Leroy ) here needs his choccy Frappuccino. Isn’t that right young pup” I explain in my best Steve Irwin style voice . Leroy is mortified. The young girl is frozen , unblinking with both eyebrows raised . Eventually we seal the deal . “See Leroy , ya old man knows how to get things done .” I say this loud enough to be heard by the young girl as I drive off . ” Sooooo embarrassing dad! ” , Leroy says . “Hey , I’m speakn English young pup ” , I say . Leroy’s shaking his head . Same thing happened last night at my favourite haunt , the heated food counter and the hot chicken Bay Marie . “Yeah mate give us the hot 8 mango habanero chicken buddy . ” The little Hispanic guy rocks back with one eyebrow raised . I’ve had him going before in the past and this time it’s round 2 . ” Sir what you want ?” ” The chicken mate , the habanero buddy . “. He looks over at his fellow staff member and at the woman behind us . She’s got a smile on her face . “You want chicken , which one ?” I point to the chicken with the mango habanero marinate ( chicken has been ordinary here , but this is the best bbq style I’ve found ) . “Sir , these are not on special tonight , it’s only the fried “. ” Ya Jokn champ ? , doesn’t matter i’l take em anyway . ” He looks at me and then turns his head both ways . He’s confused . ” So sir do you want anything ? “. ” Yeah mate , the spicy bbq chicken .” There’s only one spicy bbq chicken and it’s the mango habanero. Poor fuckas starting to loose his patience now . ” Sir I don’t know what you want “. I slow it down , point nod and get it through to him . Leroy is pulling me by the shirt when I ask him a question ” Mate , can ya sub a couple of the spicy ones out and chuck a couple of the finger lickn good ones in ( deep fried Kentucky style ) .” The older blonde woman next to me is chuckling . Me ole mate across the bay Marie has no idea .” He stands back with both hands at his side and all 4ft 11 of him is starting to get pissed . “Maaate , any chance you can substitute two pieces of fried chicken in for the spicy bbq , as my little friend here ( Leroy ) has decided he’d prefer those . “. It takes a second to click in that Leroy isn’t my friend but my son . I’m nodding with a big smile and Leroy is shaking his head pulling me away and telling me that he’l eat the spicy chicken anyway . Eventually it’s over and I walk off as happy as Larry . Mission accomplished , i’l laugh when I think back whilst on the couch as I get my 1st beer down later. Even Emma gets stopped occasionally to repeat herself and as an Aussie over here it’s something that you expect to deal with , however frustrating. Early days I got pretty tired of it but now I milk it and enjoy the ride . this beer is pretty apt , cheers. PS We are about to go over to a group of Aussies for Chrissy drinks Oi Oi Oi