Pissing down …… again . I’m now declaring this LA winter on par with the wettest and most miserable Melbourne winters . No exaggeration, not even when taking into account that the previous 20 months saw temperatures almost never drop below 20 degrees Celsius . Of course we’ve become acclimatised ( it’s not acclimated , that’s an American only term , not in the Oxford dictionary) , and maybe this cold wet stuff outside has been a shock . Never the less I’ve enjoyed it until lately . Ummmm , the surf …. where’s it gone ? It’s been mostly flat for a month now . ………. Its left ole mate across the road back within range again . I’m home more , and he loves it . This morning he sends me two texts : the 1st ..”stay dry “. The 2nd …” Good morning Aussie mate , love you . ” Fuck it makes me sick . I looked through my phone and noticed he only texted me 36 times and rang me 23 times in the last week , it’s down from 3 months ago but is trending up . I look out the window , it gets worse , it’s raining . I’m trapped , he’s across the road , it’s only a matter of time before he knocks on the door . I call him the vampire , 
a red headed version of Gargemel from the Smurfs . Leroy calls Marcus ….Farcus . Yeah I know I shouldn’t encourage it , but you know ….. sort of works for me . …..Oh FUCK !!!! He’s knocking on the door now , no bullshit .
He came over to lecture me about my diet .. he knows everything about everything he’ll tell ya so , also he wanted one of our avocados ,as he saw it in the basket on our kitchen table . He’s always angling for anything to eat from you .He always rocks up whilst I’m cooking and at a 100% strike rate if the doors open . He’s the ultimate scab . You relent and give the avocado to him so as you can try and satisfy him to get him out . It doesn’t work , I tell him I’ve got to shower but he still wants to stay . In the end I make up some shit about going to school afterwards . He eventually leaves . Now I’ve gotta get out of the house , or he’l be back .
As I said it’s been wet , ole mates back on the sent and I’m hungry , as usual . There’s no escape from the kitchen . The cupboards full of biscuits ( cookies, for some ) , bread and other treats that I can’t touch . NOTHIG is meant to enter the lips bar cauliflower , avocado , celery and an inside of a sausage ( sausage tailing ) smaller than one of my balls . Yum . ….. I’m starting to understand what it feels to be like a caged tiger at the zoo , or worse ……a fat kid looking through the bakery window .
aussiehowieinla 