Leroy’s party , crazy . Kids , unhinged . Nothing new here , especially when you add laser tag , soft drink and candy . Pinball machines getting bashed and pulled from the wall , food getting thrown , mayhem . It happens , but I must say it happens more here than back home . It was funny , but there were moments when I thought , ‘shit you wouldn’t want to be carrying on like this in my hometown , or you’d get a foot up the arse , but like I’ve said many times ; I’m soft .It’s something I’ve noticed right through to the kids of Tex’s age , they’re on a long leash here . Don’t worry , they’re still good kids but it stands out when you move here .
I was alone after Emma left to the airport for Paris .Thankfully Kristen and the staff kept the pack in line …..just . 
Next day , I’m off again as a chaperone for a kids excursion to the La Brea Tar pits . Yep , never heard of the joint , I was even going to text a Facebook mate to say I’m coming up your way , he lives in Brea . Turns out they’re no where near each other … could’ve been embarrassing . Sure enough I finally get to ride the Freddy Kruger bus , and just like in a nightmare the fucker breaks down , just outside of Inglewood … I’m not making this up .
That’s a teacher and the bus driver waiting outside for assistance . After 45 minutes it’s decided that the kids ( going crazy like mad fuckn animals ) should eat and drink . This is where I’m thinking , ‘this backup bus wanna get here soon or we are gonna have a procession of kids busting for the loo ‘, and on cue it starts . We have to walk them up to a service station ,for the poor little fuckers are starting to jump on the spot with hands over their groins . As the only male I’m required to be of assistance in shepherding the kids past a homeless camp right behind the servo , true …. you had to laugh . As you can imagine the kids were in the servo grabbing staff , wanting slurpies , picking up candy and getting under the feet of customers ,and of course anyone who wanted to hit the shitter in a hurry were in for a rude shock , cause theirs a queue out the door of little people going before you . The staff were real happy , not . After 90 minutes our backup bus finally arrives , driven by an Aussie who got lost on the way . I’m not kidding … but he doesn’t count as one of my kind as he’s from Brisbane , explains why the dumb fucker couldn’t find us on the side of a major road by the airport . Must’ve thought he was sill in the Outback . This time patriotism doesn’t count .
Eventually , we get to La Brea tar pits . As I said , I’d never heard of the joint , but to my astonishment there is a world class archaeological dig located in the centre of LA . A small area of waterlogged low grounds have acted as a deadly trap for thousands of years , luring animals ,who unaware step in to drink and are then trapped by the hidden tar that lies beneath the water surface , thus encasing them right in the centre of one of the future biggest cities in the world , true . Fuck I do sound like a wanker some times , but it’s still pretty fascinating I reckon . With just over an hour to spend here it was a shame that Freddy cast his spell over the old yellow bus , cause this joint is interesting and totally undersold as a tourist destination ……ok not totally undersold , but a couple of hours would be well spent here 
Yep , that’s a big arse Wooly Mammoth , dug out of the tar right in the middle of LA .
Of course I’m at the mercy of Mrs Dunne ( Leroys teacher ) , she doesn’t leave me alone and I’m constantly called on for favours , hence I haven’t been picking Leroy up from the class room , meeting Leroy just out of her reach , but today I’m exposed and I’ve been commandeered into helping out with an art project in school . 
And fuck did I deliver …………….. who’s this kid ? Yep I got lectured for doing too much painting for the kids self portraits …… but shit I didn’t want them to fuck it up . 
Yeah I know they are only 8 but I couldn’t help myself . ….. I gotta do something with my time ……. king of the fuckn kids
aussiehowieinla 