Severed

An addiction you can’t shake , a habit you can’t break , a problem you can’t solve , a grind you can’t stop , a nuisance that won’t stop being a nuisance . ……… Where do you go ? As I said …. Im soft , I don’t want to offend or hurt anyone’s feelings , but eventually the tide will come in and break down that sand dune . And it did today .

Yes, Ole Mate got his marching orders . I felt terribly guilty and angry afterwards, but there just seems no other way to slow him down. It’s a reoccurring pattern that follows his past relationships, he just wears people down and they order him out of their life . I can cope with him at a distance , and reality most of the relationships you have with friends works on this premise . We don’t need to be in each others pockets , an occasional chat is enough ,but Ole Mate always needs more . He just needs , and wants and needs some more . There’s plenty of advice , too much advice and then there’s more advice . There’s help that is required . “Please I need a favour .” “Troy can you please help me “. ” Troy , I really have a big favour to ask of you .” “Troy …. please !!, I need your help “. “Can you cash my cheque?, can you get my medication , can I borrow your car? Can I come around for lunch , dinner and anything in between ?” ” I’ve organised for Leroy to play summer baseball with my other friends kid, you two will get along .” It’s incessant, pretty funny when you step back but when it’s you that’s on the receiving end it becomes all encompassing. How do I make this stop ? I’ve tried with a detailed message in the past , but it only lasted a week and before you know it he is practically camping at our door .

The lead up :

It’s been long ……. but when he found out Emma was away overseas I knew he was going double down on his efforts to stick on … and he has . From inviting me out to celebrate Leroy’s birthday….. with him and his girlfriend , to needing to have lunch with me everyday . I stipulated clearly that I would be busy and out on certain days and times , but it doesn’t stop him from calling …. and calling and then texting . After calling me twice and messaging multiple times whilst on the school excursion you might get a sense of my building frustration . ” For fuck sake mate ,I’m taking kids to the bloody toilet . I told you I was on a school excursion today .” “Hey Troy don’t take one of the teachers in there with you , I know I would.” See ya , I’m busy , I hang up . He finds us in the park and lectures Leroy on the fine details of baseball , admittedly his knowledge is undoubted . I see him at the market , but I hide to get respite and the obligatory request to buy him some food . He turns up at Leroys baseball game the next day . Later he begs for me to drop around so as he can give Leroy a present . It’s a mini plastic corn hole game that he has collected from somewhere . He also gives me an old flag made of hessian , I throw it in the bin once I get home . It’s Sunday night that my blood starts to bubble . He sends me a message reminding me not to miss my sons medical appointment . I don’t need a reminder but it’s more than that . He just wants to be involved with your basic day to day life , I can feel the vibe through the text ,he wants to be in on the diagnosis ( don’t worry its not serious) It’s like your mum reminding you , but that’s acceptable … this is uncomfortable. It’s my fault for telling him I nearly forgot that I had the appointment , when he begged that we go to lunch on the Monday ……. And then the blood turns black , a burnt slow simmer smokes my soul . He rings during the middle of the appointment….. the phone rings out the full 20 rings . This is enough . I want to call him as soon as I’m out and totally erupt , but with my son in the car I let the burn blister away . The next day I’m home and I know he’s gonna rock up , he does most days . I’ve got the blinds closed and the door locked , I’ve just cleaned the house and I’ve ignored several calls and texts , Ole Mate won’t give up , but I make a fatal mistake , the back door is left open to dry the floor . Just as it usually happens I’ve stuffed a bite to eat in , and I am kicking myself for not seeing that this is the time he likes to turn up . He knows your routine , when your most likely to be home . It’s lunchtimes and after school and when I’m cooking dinner . He always appears at one of these times . I thought it might slow down now that he’s left the area but it hasn’t changed much , it’s the weekends that we see him less . Emma’s home then and he knows to stay away . I’m startled by a voice at the back door , the back is pretty private , opening to a small concealed deck , but Ole Mate knows I like to hideout there . “Hey have you just cleaned “, he yells . ” Oh , fuck …..I reply yes but he and his dog walk straight in anyway . I’m shaking my head . ” Hey , why have you been ignoring me , that’s not what good friends do . I thought you were a good mate “, he says That’s when I spit it out about calling me when he knows I’m at an appointment. He denies it , says it must’ve been a pocket call . I tell him in know uncertain terms that I doubt it and that I am sick of his intrusiveness . ” You walk in the back door uninvited , you can’t leave us alone “, I plead He says it was the dog , even though the fuckn thing was on a lead . Finally it came …… “Mate get the fuck out of our house and the get the fuck out of our life ” I had to physically push him out the door as he protested …… “And Fuck off” His number is now blocked . He’l be back