“Troy , have you heard about the secret back room ? That’s where the new product comes in . If you ask you might get to try some new stuff at below price . ” “You , serious? Nick I’m going to chase this up now “. The seed is sown .
You see Nick used to work down at the North End bar , which is just a 1 minute walk from our joint . He tells me that the locals , only select locals would seek special permission to the back of the grog shop where stock that either struggled to sell , out of date or hadn’t yet made it to the fridge would somehow find itself on the unwanted or lonely team . That’s where the legendary back room existed . …. Don’t worry , I know a few years have passed but one day I’ll ask and get my way back there . 
It’s been a while , but I head down to the little grog shop . The stock here is pretty diverse , there’s plenty to choose from and what’s even better it’s just a 5 minute walk from my place ……. really , really useful , especially in the warmer months . I’ve had a few so I’ve got a skip in my step . When I get in there I notice the stock has been reduced , to my disappointment . What’s even funnier the young guy serving disappears out the back for a good 3 minutes , leaving me here alone . I could grab and armful of stuff and walk out . He comes back in and I say ? “Hey mate what’s going on with the fridge , ya boss getn tight with his beer selection . ” He looks at me with confusion . ” One half of the fridge is empty . You guys trying to waste energy . ” “Si , sir ?” , he replies . Geezus , here we go again . He can’t understand a fuckn word I’m saying . Just a side note to any employer … it would help if the staff spoke English . Now don’t get touchy about this , it’s a simple suggestion, and the kid serving me ? Good luck buddy cause I’m gonna have some fun with you .
“Hey big dog you wouldn’t have any other stock out the back that…you know , maybe could be ready for a new home like that empty fridge ….. or even possibly , in this bag I have here ?” He looks at me blank faced. “Cmon maaaaate , you can let me in on the secret .” The kid looks confused , English is hard enough for him but then throw a strong Australian accent on top and he’s got no hope . Deep down I know the back room is in the past ,from a by gone era when this area was more local and less affluent , but fuck I’m gonna try anyway , plus there’s no one in the shop but us two . “No comprehend ah sir “, the kid replies . 
” Hey mate , why don’t you take me out to the special room . Ya know the one ?” “Sir ?”, he replies. “Mate I’m not gonna rob ya ,I just want in on the little backroom stash . You know …. for a discount “, I smile . “No sir , I……….. “. Ok buddy . “What I’m asking is there any stock in the back that is discounted ?” ( I’m actually embarrassed as I don’t really need a discount ,I just wanted to throw it out there to say that Ive been in the special room . ) The kid shakes his head and tells me it’s just a store room . “Yeah I know mate ,but…… never mind .”I grab a last 4 pack ( big 500+ mil cans) of beer and plonk them on the bench . He scans them at $18 !! “Hang on buddy , hold ya horses , they are marked at $11.99 ” “No sir , it scans at $18!”, the kid replies . “Geezus mate check your empty fridge , it says $11.99 ” He checks it out and sure enough it’s the last of the stock and is discounted . “Ohh sorry sir .” “No worries mate , today I didn’t need the special room , but next time ?” …… Poor fucka didn’t understand a word I was saying , and I think that 4 pack might’ve been in the wrong position . Today the special room might’ve been in the fridge .
aussiehowieinla 