A fish out of water

The base is vibrating through the hand rail ,a mass is heaving below ;shit this is bigger ,younger , more beautiful, more glamorous, more flesh and less clothed than even I had imagined ……. and I’m one of only 3 people with their shirts on , the other 5 thousand are practically naked .I’m melting on the inside whilst I burn on the outside. Stationed on the walkway my outlook is fixed , drowned by a vision of sheer debauchery … Calvin Harris in Vegas

Before this ? When Ash said a pool party I didn’t think I’d end up here . We marched through MGM Grand in our board shorts with a collared shirt on , it felt odd , but hey this is Vegas and you see this shit ….. just didn’t expect it’d be me . My alter ego is at his acute self …… “WTF are you doing dude , this crowd is gonna be too young for you “, he says . “Mate I’ve gotta do it , we are doing this for Als birthday “, I reply . “Fuck man , you’re gonna be the oldest one there , like some creepy old fuck ogling at young girls in a school yard”, ” Nah surely it won’t be that bad ………….As we get closer it starts to dawn pretty quick …… fuck there are a lot of 21 year olds walking down here .We march through the open pool area towards a closed off entry point , herded in , body searched , pulled aside and told that our bag the size of a small handbag cannot be brought in ; we have to pay $80 for a locker to hold Tims camera and our stuff , Tim is enraged and marches out to take our stuff back . Me ….. I thought this was an obvious attempt to discourage and maybe get us to change our mind , especially as girls were coming in with handbags larger than our said bag but were still allowed in without needing a locker and no one else was wearing a collared shirt .Obviously staff knew what the scene was ……. young We walk into the pool area and it’s obvious …….. this is the hottest ,coolest young crowd in Vegas . Abs , g strings , gold coloured swim wear that could fit in the palm of your hand but then is just ….and only just covers a statuesque brunette in high heels who looks like Kim Kardashian , she’s not alone . The music is pumping , the crowd is bouncing … well , a lot of stuff is bouncing , theres not much left to the imagination , this is the next generation . Your kids could be here right now , shit if it’s your daughter you need to stop reading from this point on………she’s probably wasted , writhing her small beautiful derrière ……,,… no I won’t describe it ….. it just makes me sound worse than what I feel right now . There are levels … beds are inhabited by the beautiful , the spas are fixtured with the absolutely beautiful and near naked and the cabanas are for the VIP which are filled with massive , tattooed , roided up gangsters with a bevy of string cladded bikini wearing girls dancing and fighting for their attention .

My lips start to burn , I realise it’s the chlorine evaporating off the water , it’s what’s happening under the water that lets me know that they need more chlorine … and I’m not talking urine . Like some old pervert at a pool party . I want out but Ash and Al want in , with Tin reappearing the shirts are off and the boys are in . I’m left to watch and drink and watch and…………… fuck it , my shirt goes off and it’s official …… I’m the oldest dude in the pool , probably the oldest dude in the venue Hilarious , what do you do ? Fuck it ..,… join them ..,…, it’s your birthday Al , you’l never have one like this again .