“Gday mate , are you sure you’re working hard enough ?” ,I ask . He looks at me and smiles .Every morning I have to get out there and sell myself , something I usually detest but have accepted it’s something that I need to do to better myself . The self sell is big over here ,actually ‘the sell ‘ in general is a fundamental to American life . “Are you from South Africa , I can detect an accent ? “, he replies “God no mate , I’m from Melbourne, Australia , you know , where the real people are from “, I reply with a glint in my eye and a bit of a head nod . ” What’s you’re routine today , looks like it’s a bit of chest and maybe arms ?” I ask. I have to get out there daily and get myself seen .Today I’m hungover and for some reason the formalities have been dropped and a more cavalier approach oozes from my pores …amongst other things . It’s Saturday morning and the place is pretty busy , but the gym floor is actually quiet , it’s the the other rooms with spin classes ,yoga and power sculpt that are full . ” Yes it’s chest and back this morning , but I’ve already finished a body dynamic session ( group class ) beforehand .”, he replies. “Geezus , are you serious ? Haven’t you got time for other stuff on a Saturday morning ?” I ask. He laughs . ” This is my escape , it’s my time ” , he replies . “Mate …… you’ve been here 90 minutes , you’re barely sweating and you’re face is barely moving , there’s not a wrinkle on it . You sure you didn’t get Botox before you came in , cause you look beautiful this morning . If it was me in your position I’d look like a chewed up Cheeto ( wanted to say twistie but they don’t exist over here ) and I’d be coming over to that table over there to get my shoulders rubbed .”, I plead He laughs and says “I’ll take that as a compliment and yes I do get Botox regularly .” “Shit mate ,I’m only joking , you don’t really have Botox , do you ? I’m just saying you’re looking good this morning and if you need a massage come over and see me .” ,I reply. He actually enjoys the banter and accepts the request . He asks about my situation and I let him in on our journey to the US . It turns out this guy is 40 years old , is twice married and is a physician with 3 businesses across LA and his wife has a Botox clinic …… true …he is your classic advertisement for LA middle aged wealth . “Hay Troy ,you should give it a go “, he says. “What mate ,the gym?” “No , you should book an appointment with my wife and get some Botox done on your face , you’d look great .” ” You’re kidding me mate , you’d need a 44 gallon drum of that stuff to clear this grooved out head .” , I said “No really Troy , we should exchange details and maybe your wife with her background in cosmetics would love to visit my wife and her business , she’ll get a great discount on the treatments as well . You should surprise her and come in periodically and get Botox treatments and see if she notices it . I think your wife will really be impressed with how handsome you’ll look , not that you are not already . This will be just a little maintenance for you and will do wonders for your ability to sell yourself in here . ” , the doc explains . I laugh , and I really mean laugh , I also catch on that the sell has smoothly been reversed .” Geezus mate it’d need to do more than that . I need it to get some extra after dark attention as well “. ” He looks at me and smiles …” It will Troy , trust me I have 4 kids to two wives and I can tell you it makes a difference . ” Ally is a manicured new aged guy who’s a cross between Mathew Broderick and Robert Downey Junior . We exchange phone numbers , it feels weird . Here I am on the other side of the world in an ‘oh so cliche ‘ environment that you’d see on some television show like ‘Getaway or Postcards ‘ showing life in LA , but it’s me …and he’s got my number and wants me to try Botox and maybe catch up …… Shit maybe I’m still drunk ………. As Ally leaves an descends the stairs I yell out ” Hay Ally , you look good today , must’ve had something to do with my table .” “Troy , you can do this , I think you should visit my wife for treatment ” , he yells back . 
I think I’ll have a beer 1st and think about it
aussiehowieinla 