We’re up . I managed 4 hours sleep on a queen bed that was shaped like a skate ramp .I couldn’t sleep on my left side without rolling and crashing into Emma . The bed creaked and crunched on every yawn ……need I say any more ? Well I will . When I got up for my 3rd piss at 330am I grabbed the bed knob for balance whilst trying not to step on Leroy’s head and virtually ripped it off .”Geezus Howie what are you doing ?”Emma groans . Leroy slept on a mattress on the floor ,the 3 older boys slept in the lounge room , we all shared the one toilet and bath/ shower with 3 old green towels between us all. There was no washing machine ,hence explaining why no one was too keen to dry themselves with the old green towels ,let alone standing on the grimy bath tub and shower . There’ll be no showering this weekend .
The joint is an ice box and we are all either semi hung over , sleep deprived or corn chip and sour worm overloaded …You beauty .”Kids we are going on a 6 km walk to the 49 Palms . Excited ?” “Nooooooo!!! The kids are adamant they won’t be going anywhere . Just 10 hours earlier they were distraught with the idea of staying here ,now they don’t want to leave.
49 Palms …..the violin concerto of complaints and whining led by the kids and directed by Tex was a sight to behold .We drove in unperturbed , the little fuckers are going for a walk no matter what . We’re off , layered up with gloves, jumpers , parkers and beanies . It’s not long before the kids are off up ahead . This part of JoshuaTree is layered with boulders ,rocks ,granite ,small scrub and cacti . 
An alien landscape ,that undulates , rolls and folds into the snow covered mountain range into the distance …..and there’s meant to be a palm tree oasis at the end of the track ? The walk was strenuous , the air clean and frigid .I did notice the elevation had an effect on breathing , at times needing to suck in more breath on some of the uphill climbs . Leroy felt unwell until we got back into town on lower ground . 
Ahh there it is ,a group of large palms tucked into a fold at the bottom of a ravine ,above it a grandstand of granite covered in snow . There’s no doubting we’ve arrived .Theres “Ois ,Cooees ,mate”are broadcast ,kids arguing ,climbing in areas with signs of ‘no entry ‘to protect sensitive flora and fauna ,all loud enough to be heard by anyone else within a mile of us and of course we flushed out 2 Aussies girls from Melbourne who happened to be also out here . 
By the time we get back we’ve got a nice sweat up ,now it’s time to drive the 80 kms to Palm Springs for lunch ……” Noooo, take us back home .No dad !” ” Suck it up kids ,I need a coffee “
Next day …..it starts again ….”Nooo , we don’t want to go for a walk to see Joshua Tree . Please can we just go home ” We enter Joshua Tree National Park via the western entrance in the town JoshuaTree . The complaining led by Tex and echoed by the kids continued unabated .It gets worse when we have to line up in convoy to get through the rangers gate .”Noo , let’s just turn around and head back .This is crazy ! It’s gonna cost $30 per car to get in !” “Suck it up kids “,I laugh .Its like throwing petrol on the bbq. Eventually we drive through ,meandering on a road that could easily be built on Mars . 
The rocky terrain tinted with a red rust ,gives way to a white winter wonderland . All of a sudden the kids are pleading for us to stop anywhere so as they can get out on the snow . We stop at Quail Springs , a set of boulders opening into a field of Joshua Trees covered in snow . The ranger on duty tells us that we are very fortunate to see the park in its current state . There is a foot+ of snow ,an event that occurs once in 10-30 years . ” You may never see it like this again”, he says 
Hidden Valley next , just 5 minutes down the road . Emma and Andrea have left us with the kids ,they’ve headed off to a”Sound Bath” ,some type of experience with gongs and stuff , I’ll stick to walking Joshua Tree . I don’t think we missed out on this decision .
Hidden Valley is beautiful . An ethereal beauty enhanced by the fairytale cover of snow . Vivid morning sunlight ,large outcrops of boulders , Joshua Trees covered in snow just like Christmas trees ,with a track made of granite steps that cuts through a ravine opening into a valley below . 
This used to be cattle rustling route in the Wild West ,the valley hidden behind rock outcrops used as shelter for the stolen cattle . Today it looked stunning . The kids are oblivious to its history and it’s beauty , they just want to climb rocks and throw snow balls . 
When it came time to leave it was the chorus instigator himself Tex who holds us up by half an hour . He and Jack were off climbing rocks , jumping over gaps and doing shit I’m glad their mums couldn’t see .
Joshua Tree ; I didn’t know what it was other than a bloody great U2 album . When I moved here I was more aware but it really didn’t excite me too much . I did find out that the U2 album cover wasn’t even shot here , it was The Eagles who did it first . 
That aside the Floyds and the Howards got to Joshua Tree . It was worth the trip , the raw accomodation , the whining kids and the icy cold . We got lucky , I’m not sure Joshua Tree could’ve been any more beautiful ……just hope the kids can remember it when they’re out there as adults exploring the world . Maybe they might go back without whining .
aussiehowieinla 