Gday all you sheep dogs and Rottweilers . Well this ole sheepdawgs been a circling the herd for nearly 3 weeks now .Still I haven’t separated the little white one from the flock , but my time will come .16 supermarkets in 4 days , but no Golden Fleece . It’s time to drop down low ,sniff the breeze and rely on the gut .
On a serious note , I’m wordering when we look back in time at these extraordinary circumstances wether the panic buying was a major contributor to the spread of Covid19 . To be going to multiple supermarkets on numerous days is just stupid , but guess who’s guilty of that ? To think that toilet paper is a major contributor to people rushing into close quarters with dozens of others in a time where self isolation is critical is just embarrassing. The thing is ,we’ve got pride ,we need to feel good and most of us need to feel clean . That one inch square piece of flesh needs to be shinier than a newly minted coin . Hallelujah to that . Get me that toilet paper .
I sat there with my coffee ,zoned out watching the avalanche of bad news on the tv . Then came a story that captured my attention . Just after 730am a reporter for Chanel 4 ( I think ) was standing outside of a Target store in Burbank presenting another story on potential panic buying . Two Afro-American girls came out of the front doors with a trolley full of toilet paper and wipes . “ Fuck would you look at that ?” , I murmur to myself . What got me more interested was how quiet it was in the car park . Hmmm , Tuesday Burbank . Maybe , just maybe the stores are filled in a staggered pattern . “Thursday , maybe Thursday “,I think to myself .
I venture down to the kitchen ,put the kettle on , stretch out and yawn . “Shit , what day is it ? “ , I think to myself . Ahh ,doesn’t matter . Half through my coffee , it dawns on me…..it’s Thursday . This ole sheep dawg has caught a twitch . A flea or some fucker is biting me on the arse . I stick my head outta the kennel and catch a waft . Hmmm , fuck it . “ Hay darl , I’m gonna shoot down to Target in Manhattan Beach at 8am when it opens . Do we need anything ?” “ I think it’s already open Howie “ , she replies . I feel sick in the gut . I feel today’s the day and I’ve missed the early entry . I’ve blown it .
I drive into the car park and am shocked at how many cars are there already . “Fuck , you’ve blown it dickhead “ , I say to myself . My other self laughs and says ..”Mate ,don’t be a fool there’s no dunny roll here anyhow ?” I get outta the car and freeze in my tracks . What’s that I see in that guys trolley ? I’m a like bull that’s stepped through a broken fence and spotted a herd of cows at the bottom of the paddock . In an instant I’m marching ,rigid ,excited , fearful . Once I get in there this sheepdawg is pacing like a Rottweiler . Where the fuck is this stuff ? Ahhh , sweet Jesus . I’ve finally rounded you up . “Come with me you little fucker “. I’m clutching that bag with an iron grip . By the time I’m home I’m as proud as punch . “ This ole dawg is gawn ‘a’ hunten and look what I jus caught ? “
For now , it’s time to celebrate …..just hope it doesn’t bite me on the arse in a couple of weeks
aussiehowieinla 