Sayulita , Mexico

We land in Puerto Vallarta , Mexico . it’s a short 2 and a half hour flight from LAX , Los Angles. It may be a short flight but you couldn’t be too much further from LA life . My wife’s mother has come along for the ride , it’s her first ever adventure outside of Australia. Lock yourself in Jenny it’s going to be a bumpy ride . The niggling , wanting , needing , getting and general fighting of the Howard’s on vacation will be on full display .

I love it when you land in tropical locations and get that initial waft of thick ,warm fragrant air .We exit Puerto Vallarta airport with no security check , after our initial delay at the currency exchange booth . Last second panic set in and we abandon plans to use the Scotia bank ATM that I had researched . Social media posts had alerted me the idea that the ATMs and particularly the Scotia Bank ATM located in Puerto Vallarta airport would convert our Bank of America funds into pesos at the best rate . After a 20 minute delay and not so favourable exchange at the currency exchange kiosk ( they see you coming ….. time to cash in on the gringos ) we exit security , right past a set of ATMs and yes one of them is the Scotia Bank ATM . The first piece of advice when landing in Mexico is get some pesos into your wallet , at least we’ve done that , even if it cost a little more than anticipated………”Ahh , cmon gringos , don’t complain , this is Mexican life , you gotta pay a little extra tax . “

It’s Christmas of 2022 . This holiday has a little more significance. It feels like an end of an era , a last sojourn into Latin America for an Aussie family that has ventured so far . A last escape , a time to grieve a passing father and a time to open our eyes , take a deep breath in appreciate how lucky we are . We are in a little piece of paradise on the other side of the world , along , long way from home …… you gotta embrace it . I guess this is what they call wanderlust .

Our driver has our name on a placard . Rahul directs us into his old white kidnap van , gets us comfortable and then offers me a beer and Emma a tequila shot . Yeesss !! Let’s get the party started . We quietly observe the busy , dusty metropolis of Puerto Vallarta as Rahul zig zags us through chaotic traffic , overpasses , side roads , freeways , potholed roads stacked with trucks , motorbikes with kids on back , open back trucks ( utes ) with families in back and all sorts of chaos that I expected to see . I smile to myself …… “ this is real Howie , you love this 3rd world shit .” Puerto Vallarta is a lot larger and more urban than i expected . It wasn’t pretty either , but I guess that maybe a bit unfair when we are really just travelling through it and not exploring any of the more touristy beach front . It’d eventually take us an hour and just on dusk before we finally wind our way north to Sayilita . . The last 30 minutes of the route takes us deep into green tropical vegetation on a single lane road backed up with traffic ferrying travellers, stock , rubbish and just about everything else . Rahul scrapes and slides his way up a steep incline on a road best described as a goat track . Welcome to paradise kiddies

An hour later Tex and I are in the streets , dark , unfamiliar and barely with a sense of how to get back to our palatial apartment nestled in the hillside somewhere . It takes minutes before we are fighting (a constant ) . We are trying to find food to bring back to the apartment but Tex wants to run into the night . He does . “ Fuck him “ , I declare . What could go wrong ? We are in the heart of Mexico ,with a blonde American kid wandering off into the night . Out of the blue ……… “ hey Troy !” . Right in front of me appears a golf cart with familiar faces . Belinda , Eric and their friends from Seattle . We knew they were here and were catching up with them tomorrow . Emma had alerted them that Tex and I were wandering the streets , arguing, stomping our feet and generally lost for ideas . It took a while , 2 beers and a little embarrassment before I calmed down . We get pizza and it’s pretty bloody good , too . Just as we were about to head back Tex appears , 2 coronas in hand , arrogantly declaring that he sat down for the 3 best tacos of his life . Thank you , Eric and Belinda , you get us through our first night , and Tex ……. He’s a wild horse , you can’t saddle him . He will roam the streets for the next week , either oblivious of the chaos and potential dangers as a foreigner or entirely confident of his street smarts . He’s at home in Sayulita .

The morning after . Alls forgotten, for now .It’s anticipation. What’s out there ? What are we doing ? When are we getting amongst it ? Tex is already barking about finding a surfboard and hitting the waves . Demanding cash , so he can wander into a town he knows nothing about . Eventually Belinda , the best chaperone and friend you could have on a holiday turns up in her golf buggy . She gives a quick tour around town to get our bearings and then sets us up with a golf buggy through her guy . Belinda and Eric , both from Hermosa Beach have been here 10 years running . They are veterans and a perfect ally for Aussie greenhorns like us . It’s not long before Tex declares the golf buggy his .It has it’s benefits. We have a driver , a reason to have 3 extra margaritas and also a maniac behind the wheel . Lock and load kiddies .

Surfing . We did it . Got some pretty good waves too . We had low expectations, especially renting boards but it worked out . $25 US a day is pretty good . The boards were dated and beaten up a bit but it was fun . You can’t whinge too much when you’re in 25 degrees Celsius waters in 28 degree weather , just a short walk to our villa. Still ,there a little things that annoy . There’s that constant targeting of the tourist dollar that you get anywhere in the world . On returning the boards the board rental staff would go over the boards with a fine tooth comb , look you in the eye , looking back at the board , insinuating that you must have caused damage and therefore pay for repairs . It was uncomfortable, almost hostile and I guess it’s a way of extorting or guilting you into giving them more . Fuck that , just be honest up front and I’ll pay , don’t try and accuse of shit that didn’t happen . Next time , we’ll take photos before we rent . Lesson learned . We had the same problem with Leroy’s water logged ,delaminated boogie board when the vendor accused him of damaging it . He had brought the board back to swap after 15 minutes . The old prick stared him down ,and me , but we didn’t budge . Nah , mate . We know this game . It would continue when I bring back the second board I hire . The women ( Patti ) explicitly tells me it’s a trust transaction and all that I need to do is bring the board back by the end of the day . I question it too . $10 US is a bargain for a surfboard for the day , admittedly it’s beaten up and 20 years old but it surfed pretty good . On returning it that night I’m met by a less than impressed local who tells me that I owe them another $40 US as the board was only a 90 minute rental ! Nah , mate , I declare . After 5 minutes of uncomfortable haggling I walk away not paying an extra cent . I couldn’t anyway as I didn’t have any cash on me ,but I’m guessing if I had I probably would’ve pulled some out of the pocket. That’s the game , buyer beware .

Tours , we did those too . Out to the islands on an all you can drink party boat ? Yep . Pina colada me up baby . Whales breaching , dolphins running , slides off the side of the boat , beauties in g strings . Ahhh yes , we got it all . Tex not listening and being his domineering cocky self and almost swimming into a Portuguese jelly fish after all of us were explicitly shown the said creature and warned of its potential danger . I think we wanted him to get stung , just a little bit .We even ran into an Aussie family from Sydney on the boat . What are the odds ?

We fished too . Another charter out to the islands . We got more whales . One breached entirely out of the water no more than 100 meters from the boat . It was an incredible show and one not one of us could capture on film . It was truly like being in some documentary . We catch bonitos , mackerel and some sort of trevally A special thanks to Owen who got the fish biting after he chummed the waters up with vomit .I told you dude , you gotta get outta the cabin and look at the horizon . 25 fish in all . The kids were stoked , the parents more so and to add icing to the cake Tex was the target of much humour and teasing after he lost 3 consecutive fish . Think John McEnroe , think Tex .

No trip to Mexico or any other place like it would come without a bit of tax . The gut . What goes in would eventually come out in a torrent . Jenny , Tex , myself , Megan and Ben have to pay . It balances out . I go in slightly over weight and leave still , slightly over weight . Apart from a gruelling and anxiety riddled transit back , I got back to the US with a clean set of underwear.

It comes with a heavy heart that this blog took so long . It’ll be our last adventure in North America for a while . We had a ball with good friends , drank amazing margaritas for $3 , ate the best street tacos , surfed warm waves, traipsed through jungle tracks , walked along the beach at sunset , sat on the street on balmy nights . The bakeries and the pizza was better than anything we’ve had in LA . Yes there was haggling , only a bit and it’s true you can’t flush your toilet paper ,you have to parcel it up and put it in a bin next to the toilet . I felt that was the best method . Don’t worry , it doesn’t matter how much money you’ve got , you’ve gotta wipe your ass and put it into a communal bin . Mexico , it might the last time I ever see you . Now it’s time to ponder another great adventure and walk down the track and see where it takes us next .