A little bit of extra cash would be nice , something I could do during the day from time to time .Yeah there’s dog walking but that’s on a permanent stay of proceedings until I can get my head around the high risk little reward factor . I am doing a course but it’ll be a long haul before any green fills the pocket . I am bombarded daily with multiple emails from employment agencies. As soon as you investigate a job offer you’ve given up your personal details and then every job from plastic surgeon to shit scraper is sent your way . I’ve already had “hi Troy how does $10 .95 an hour working for Amazon out at bumfuck Idaho sound ?” I assume they don’t know I’m on the beach in California . I reckon it’d be real fun working out in the Midwest of America , sleeping in my tent , eating spam and then working 10 hour days moving boxes down the line . I can see Emma and the kids will be real happy with the $ 200 a week I send back . Probably the right type of pocket money for 2 kids in Hermosa Beach . I get phone calls offering work opportunities but as soon I ask exactly what the job is I’m told to open their emails and then apply . “Hey mate tell me what the job is 1st and then i’l apply . ” Well sir, if you open the emails ” “Mate seeing as you’ve gone outta your way to ring me ,tell me exactly what job you have in mind for me !” Open up our emails and you have a good day sir bip bip bip bip bip ….. You mother….. There’s jobs and then there’s Visual 3D merchandiser . I think that’s it . I’m perfectly qualified , have just the right education and the right skill set . It’s pretty much the 1st steps to Hollywood . I can do this …………….. Leroy reckons it’d be cool , he’d tell his mates to get their mums to drive past my work place . Yeah ……,., ok I dunno about that buddy . Imagine all the kids waving and the cars tooting . I’l be a star . I’m hoping a year 12 pass will get me in the door , I might struggle with the accent and all . Wish me luck , this interview will be tough

You don’t realise how big this day is in the USA , it’s big , it even rivals 4th of July . I know that sounds a stretch , but here in Hermosa Beach it’s all out . From the moment I get up and run down the beach for a look at the conditions there’s the early starters , already dressed in green heading towards the bars for an alcohol fuelled breakfast . At 11am the whole town is shut down for the annual St Patrick’s day parade . The streets are lined in green , us too .Brass bands , dancing troupes , vintage police cars and any excuse to march proud in your green get up . It’s all in and embraced when it comes to festivities.Irish eyes were certainly smiling here . Afterwards we were invited to our 1st block party . At 230 we tentatively headed out the back of our joint and walked up the back streets until we got to the annual Loma street St Patrick’s day shindig . A section of street closed off to traffic with Police and council permission , all for the means of drinking Guinness and listening to live music. Where in Aus are ya gunna see the cops and council let you do that ? A jumping castle , table tennis tables , a stall selling green attire and a serious live band , oh and beer supplied . What more do you want ? These two guys we just met . The bloke on the right was just visiting his mate in LA . He’s from Adelaide . Yep pure coincidence but the 1 st guy we speak to is an Aussie and his name is Shamus on this most Irish of days . We run into Kristen who lives just around the corner and she just happens to work for tourism …….Australia. Can you believe it ? After a couple of fun filled hours the party dissolves . It’s not even 5 o’clock and Emma and I are looking at each other confused . That’s it , it’s over . Just like that? It’s Saturday , we should be heading to a backyard to sit around a fire and …. keep on drinking , but no . It’s a major difference in the Australian culture and the locals over here . We keep on going . Stuff going home and making dinner for the kids , showering them and putting them to bed . The kids can free range it around us whilst we get drunk and chew the fat .Thats how it should be . I’m telling ya , they’re soft over here . Stuff responsibilities, they can wait till Monday . As it was I’m still very impressed with the block party and St Patrick’s day . We of course did kick on , but where else ? … Gary and Emma’s , our Aussie mates and neighbours . But before I sign off I want you to check the band and this chick out in the following video . Remember this is out the front of someone’s garage on the street . Turn it up loud and listen to this , block party style .

I previously rode a bike north all the way to the edge of Venice Beach , this time I’m heading south . Only this time I’ve decided to walk . Gotta week off from classes , so it’s time to tick the next box . You see , I keep looking to the rising headland of Palos Verdes , thinking I’ve gotta check it out . There’s a building on the horizon with some kind of rock wall , but I also know there is a surf spot called Haggertys . On the rare occasion there’s enough swell I’l look across and see small white balls rolling along the raised cliffs … and wonder ? I ‘ l get there sometime . Today’s the day . It’s actually very cold , 16 degrees , sunny with a bitter ocean wind . Very Melbourne . The headphones are on and I’m listening to Jj . It’s a real treat ;Hunters and Collectors , Missy Higgins , Boy and Bear ,Painters and Dockers and a host of Aussie 80s and 90s pub bands . It’s weird , it’s 10 am here and I’m listening to music played on the other side of the world at 4 am there . You walk along the coast of California while music humms through the early hours of a balmy Aussie night . Joggers , walkers , bike riders . You look at them : do you know what I’m listening to ? Can you see what I’m looking at . It’s the Ocean , it’s beautiful but you can’t see it . You’re too busy . I’m daydreaming , transplanting myself back to the early hours of Aus , thinking I’m in the pub . The same time I’m transfixed on the waves ; jumbled, messed up , but occasionally I’m seeing myself out there . That’s when I see it . A buoy broken off its mooring , it’s white triangular shape bobbing and disappearing in the waves .I lose it , get lost in the music , and then another dude rides past . But hey that face is familiar ,I know it , he catches my eye and his lip curls up . Who is that fucker ? Nah , it’s not him , or is it ? I could be wrong , but that bloke with the sunnies on and hoodie looked like ….. fuck was that just Denzel Washington?? Shit , I don’t want to declare it , but I reckon I just caught the fucker out hiding under his hoodie , going on a sneaky bike ride , thinking he’s flying under the radar . He knew he might’ve been caught out but he was gone…. rode off . It’s not like I could’ve or would’ve run after him and taken a photo , fuck that . Little things happen when you look carefully , that’s when I noticed the people with their phones taking pictures of the shore . I stop , that’s where that buoy was . Wasnt it ? No …. you dumb fucker , it’s a whale ! Now it all becomes obvious ., the buoy is in fact a small whale , rollicking in the shore breaker . If you look hard you see things , today’s the day . Eventually I keep going , now I’ve gone further than I’ve gone before , the path ends and it’s just sand and rising headland . I’m nearly there . just a little further . The cliffs rise . Decrepit , landslipped , broken and under developed . So typical Californian , don’t need to do it properly . Can’t make it look good or spend the right money on making it proper . Fuck regulation or procedure . Finally I’m within range . There’s the rock wall . The building is a yacht club , prime water frontage , but like everything else here ; old run down and woefully under utilised . You imagine this place jazzed up , with cool restaurant and beer garden ,looking over a rugged headland , with a classic surfbreak and rugged Pacific backdrop . No , don’t want to upset the locals , they’l probably sue . Everyone else does .Finally I’m here . It feels like I’m at the southern most point of MtMartha beach , except there are waves and surfers . I adjust several times before I get the prized shot to complete my journey ….only for my phone to shut down ….. the battery has gone flat . No !! Fuck it i’l have to do it again . I did see a whale …Denzel Washington …. in California …….. beat that

Denzel Washington …,.., Thats not everyday ….,, In America . Best that .

I’m drifting off , the imagination has transported me into a post apocalyptic world . Grey skies , slicing rain and massive concrete structures arching over head , dull lights bouncing off the edge of your vision . If you’ve ever seen the film Prometheus , you’l understand where I’m drifting off to . Theres threat here .Luckily I’m not the one locked onto the steering wheel, eyes and mind focused on getting us into Downtown safely . On dusk , raining and on 6 lane freeways you’re mettle will be tested . Emma is the driver , she kicked me out of the drivers seat , said she didn’t trust me , says I’m too aggressive . I’m the front seat passenger and I’m locked into a battle of not watching the mass of flying metal slicing along wet poorly built concrete freeways . The closer we get to the city , the darker it gets and the surreal takes over . You look up and it’s like an aggressive alien creature has its tentacles spread over the city .As night falls , it becomes obvious . First it’s the many signs overhead that become difficult to read . They’ve got lights above them but most are broken . You could see the loose debris and the dangerous pooling of water but now they’re fading , only to frighten the shit out of you when your windscreen is thudded with heavy spray from passing trucks . The lights , the freeway lights , you don’t see them . They’re there but they are too far back and have that dull orange glow . Totally useless . The freeways are practically dark at night . It’s incredible ! The white lines drift in and out of view , especially on bends and off ramps . I’m shaking my head , this is surely not a first world country , with the highest of standards . This can’t be true , I’ve gotta pinch myself , but it is . I look over my shoulder and look at the precious cargo , this is where you understand statistics are more than a number , it’s much more than that . The boys are oblivious , it’s all about the basketball . Luckily they can’t see the trepidation emitting from the front seats . On the way home 3 beers have quelled my fear but also it has fuelled my disbelief. Check this next photo and you’l swear we are out in the countryNo , this shot is on a 6 lane plus freeway at 11pm at night just out the back of LAX . Emma and I watch the news in the morning and there’s been traffic chaos overnight , multiple accidents , fatalities most attributed to the wet . You never here about the poor condition of their roads or infrastructure, maybe they don’t know any better . This is accepted , it’s what comes with LA . I told yooos that we’ve got it good back in Australia . I’m just reaffirming that . Our standards are high , I never new it , until now .

Finally , we’ve decided to tick off one of the ‘must do ‘ experiences of American life , going to a NBA game . Emma booked the tickets online($55 a seat , 15 to 20 meters from courtside ) and then it was just waiting for game day . Of course it had to rain for the 3rd time since we’ve been here , making for a nerve jangling drive into downtown ( 1 hour drive ). Once we get to the Staples Centre it reminds me of Etihad stadium in Melbourne . After dealing with the $30 event parking Emma , Leroy , his mate Carson and myself headed into LA Live .La live is a sporting , dining and entertaining precinct . We were pumped , the whole setup adds to the experience . You can eat and drink at a number of good restaurants, covering almost every style of dining , and the best part : you walk no more than a hundred meters to the Staples Centre . I couldn’t help myself and had to have a beer with dinner . ‘The wolf pup amongst the weeds’ ( yes , that’s it’s true name ) wetted the appetite nicely . Bring it on ! The basketball is an entertainment experience , there’s a family / loosen up and have a drink type atmosphere that massages you into …. Showtime !This feels like the theatre for the masses , no half strength crap beers , it’s the good gear . No political correctness here . Once in the stadium with my pint of Goose ( yep , another animal named beer and a quality drop ) it’s buzz central . We feel close to the court , the seating is well designed for viewing , the whole set up is a blur of flashing lights , music , flames ,cameras out everywhere . We’re all here for a good time , the energy is contagious.The intro and build up : think WWE with Eminem’s voice telling us “you’ve got one shot , this is an opportunity of a lifetime”pulsing through the crowd and I’m thinking about stripping off and getting out on court myself . The basketballers … big fuckers , true athletes that make the court look smaller and closer . The skill and more so , the athleticism of these guys makes me ponder that the damage these guys could do on an AFL ground , frightening . I still have a couple of small criticisms, the ball handling wasn’t as elite as I expected , maybe that’s because these two teams are just average and when you’re talking 6 feet 6 to 7 feet in height the nimbleness and fine motor skills aren’t as finely tuned . Although I concede that the ridiculous reach of these guys would make it hard to dribble and stay smooth with their ability to tap the ball away. Also the game can tend to meander along and get lost in the background of music and flashing lights . All that aside , this was a lotta fun . We had a ball , the kids were mesmerised , Emma loved it and i enjoyed a couple of nice beers while soaking in a must see spectacle . That was awesome!!

I’m all for it , equal rights is an important issue ,just as long as it doesn’t include me . I don’t want to exclude anyone , especially in the water , but I’ve made some exceptions. Out in the surf if you’re a boogie boarder , long boarder , SUP boarder , knee boarder , surf ski or jet ski I’m ordering you out of the water . I just don’t want to offend anyone , that’s all. Now, now I’m only joking . In fact if you’re anyone of these guys you are catching waves in LA at the moment . The other guys (me) , we’re not. The waves have barely hit 2 foot in the last 3 months , it’s been a major let down . This is apparently the best time of year for surfing , not this year. Yep i’l spew up if another person tells me the previous 6 months have been the worst they can remember . Waves are a rarity , you’ve gotta take what you can at the moment . The problem is the SUP boarders and long boarders have been king for a while now . Take today ;I’m desperate , I’m going out there , I’ve spotted a cheeky lefthander that has gone unnoticed . I slip out there and wait patiently and proceed to miss the next 6 waves as theyre slightly too small . Finally I get one . Cool , I’m in , but wait ….a couple of SUPs are starting to shift closer . .. I know what you fuckers are up to , you wanna take my spot . You fuckers are not satisfied that you’ve got the easy option and a large advantage as it is . You now want to move in on one of the only shortboardable waves in the whole stretch , which I have found . One dude is in board shorts ( the water is cold , you need the full winter wetsuit , even booties ) , with a fo hawk , calf Tatts and a pumped up body . To make matters worse , his mate is all wettied up and can really surf the SUP well . Sure enough they’re picking off the waves and I’m left to watch . I’m pissed , I’m daydreaming that the fo hawk dude is attacked by a shark and has his leg ripped off . I paddle out and save him before the other leg is ripped off . Then it dawns on me , he’l still have one leg left and he’l be able to use his one good leg to put a flipper on to go boogie boarding with. Nah fuck it , you’re not getting saved . Fo hawk boy leaves the water and then starts shadow boxing on the beach , sprinting back and forward with high knees and generally flexing and strutting . It gets worse , his mate also leaves the water . He peels his wettie down to the waste and then shadows boxes his mate for the next 2 minutes . I’m actually shaking my head in disgust , missing a few waves in the process . Finally, I got a nice little one and then sure enough as I look over my shoulder , the two dickwads are pointing at my little spot . Yep they’re back , talking loud , laughing , yahooing and making a fucking mess of my day . Pricks … just once , only this once….. would I like to see that shark . Only a leg , that’s all I’m asking .Actually maybe two , just enough to slow them down for a bit . That’s fair , that’s equality , I reckon

” Yeah ! We’re back baby ” , I yell to Emma . ” What are ya talking about”… “Second story in a couple of weeks “,I yell . ” Ha” , Emma replies . She’s pissed cause she’s gotta take her headphones off , interrupting the very important moment the Batchelor proposes to the third girl in 24 hours . “The Aussies have hit one of the lead stories for the news tonight , look”, I point to the tv . Then the tv switches to amazing scenes on a cruise ship off the coast of Australia . “Fuck you , get off im ” ya beeeep , no beeep . Don’t hit moi , ya beepn arsbeeep , Ahhh , help him ya beeeps , No beepn beeps . Screams , muffles , bodies on top of bodies , semi pixilated out and barely a word left to hear once tv editing has covered any bad words . I look over at Emma and I give her a big American high five .”Booom therrrrye yooo go “, I say with my best American accent .We both look at each other and laugh . That beats the back story a week early about the kangaroo that boxed the old guy . Several people asked me about it , but it’s old news . Something I’ve seen repeatedly for the last 35 years . I usually replied that after this photo they probably shot the kangaroo and made a shitload of burgers out of him . That brought a startled response . “Oh yeah we shootm and eatm all the time . We sell it in the supermarket, it’s a healthy lean meat “. You can see the ticking in their eyes , the killing bambi type of sympathy ,and the thought that we must be savages down there who don’t care if they make the kangaroo extinct . “I laugh and reassure them that there are plenty of Roos to go around , we’ve even got a footy team named after them . If we kill all the Roos that team would have to change its name and that would be bad .” They didn’t quite understand….. I dunno why . Back to the cruise from hell : Now I’m going to take a wild guess here , and probably cross the boundary of political correctness and just say that I think I can stereotype the family that was kicked off the boat . I’m just guessing that’s all …. but I feel that this crew might be from the western suburbs of Sydney and maybe they’re a newer gen……… ok i’l stop there . Still the fuckers have put us back on the world stage and that can only be good …… can’t it? Go you fuckn Aussies !! Ozzy ozzzy ozzzy Oi Oi Oi !

When’s enough , enough? The last 7 days : baseball opening day Saturday 11 to 2 , basketball 2 pm , followed by game 1 of baseball season at 430 .Sunday – lay day , although Leroy dragged me into the park to practice for over an hour . Monday ; swimming straight after school , then immediately after Leroy had me in the park for another hour . I was guilted into the park as I was told I was the worst dad ever for not doing enough practice with him . Tuesday ; another enforced hour of practice in the park , then it’s a 6pm baseball game under lights . Wednesday ; basketball training at 4pm, baseball training at 5pm and you guessed it , I was dragged into the park before this . Thursday is a lay day . Friday , Leroy starts tennis at 430 with 9 and 10 year olds for a 90 minute session .,,, that’s fucked up my Friday sunset beer routine ….. Saturday it starts again ; 1130 baseball (90 mins ) , 1pm basketball and then we head out Saturday night to the Staples Centre to watch ….. basketball , the LA Clippers v Orlando Magic . To top this off his tennis coach would like to coach him one on one on a Sunday . The consolation is basketball season ( 10 week season ) is over this weekend . .. Yep ….. , the days of having a casual kick of the footy on the drive away are long gone .

We got here in April and on one of our first walks through the streets we found the baseball field . The field and pitch is well manicured . Leroy and I looked at each other and smiled , we’re going to be spending some time here . If you want a cliche picture of American life , this is it . The sandy gravel of the diamond met by perfectly green grass ; hemmed in by fencing and nets , with a complete concrete amphitheater and hotdog stand . We came back on the weekend and the place is humming with kids in uniform , dads in baseball caps and the mums cheering on little Price , Crosby or Nolan ( no Johnny here ) . There’s something more about this place , it’s a symbol of Hermosa Beach , it’s local , it’s there’s . For now we’l look on from the outside .Forward nearly 10 months and we are here , ready for Leroy’s first game . We’d heard rumours that this is where socialising begins . We’ve been through the tryout , as Leroy needed to show what his capabilities were , coming from Australia a place that rarely plays this game . All good there . If anyone knows Leroy you know we’d be well prepared . Plenty of practice out in the park had him champing at the bit . We rock up for opening day and there’s blow up castles , baseball outfits , kids and parents , hotdogs , a brass band .. the works . Emma and I look at each other with a little smirk , shit we’ve underestimated this one . 11am in the morning and there’s eskies with guys drinking beer from cups and women drinking Baileys ……. at last , thought it’d never happen . Must’ve been something only Aussies did . After a whirlwind of introductions and the waft of grog I felt left out , shit I’ve got no beer …….. won’t happen next game .

It’s below the surface , but it comes with the territory. It’s definitely not isolated to Hermosa Beach and the South Bay of California. It comes with any area with affluence. Well educated and high earning , with that comes , connected . To live here on a yearly basis you have to part with at least 50 grand a year in rent or mortgage . That’s the minimum for an apartment , let alone a house and space .Add the other costs that family life can add and you’re turning over a lot to break even before you even allow for the luxuries in life . Most families I know are fortunate to have those luxuries . Most go on skiing Hollidays . Colorado, Mammoth , Lake Tahoe , Salt Lake City are names that are dropped . I’ve heard : ” We didn’t want to go to Big Bear ( the closest ski grounds to LA , similar to Buller in Aus .. I think.) because we wanted to get away . You see too many people you know , we went to Tahoe instead . “. ” Oh fair enough “, I say . I’m thinking yeah that’s important , you need to hit the slopes and heaven forbid if you run into someone you know . You might be forced to catch up for a drink . You poor darl . Exclusive mountains where snowboarding is forbidden and skiing only ….. whatever . It must be tough , at least that’s what I hear when you get back ,exhausted .Im not saying they don’t earn it or deserve it , it’s what comes with the territory. It’s the attitude , it translates to some drivers over here , namely middle aged , mainly women . They don’t have to indicate cause they never had to in the 70s and I’m not now . “I drive a Merc , so I’m turning, don’t you know that ?” Mums on school drop off : ” You give way to me cause I’m important , and I’m not saying thankyou “, only if I know you. Holliday houses in the mountains , trips to Hawaii to get away and to buy some art . “We only go to Cabo in Mexico a couple of times a year and then we’l ski on our other trips “,…..It’s all relevant and we’d probably do the same ourselves . The kids have confidence here , it’s conditioning , schooling ,a knowledge that there better .Weekly pocket money ( more than I give myself in a month for some ) , mobile phones and even their own debit cards . I took Tex and his mate to a surf shop a while ago . Texs mate seemed confused when I wouldn’t buy a surfboard that was on special for $400 . He has 4 at home and said he was thinking of buying it for himself ,right there and then . …….. No you little fucka I’m not buying something for the sake of it , to put in my collection or to keep myself happy …. I couldn’t justify it. Maybe it’s something you havn’t been taught yet . And that’s it really , the people are nice here , they’re polite and some live an entitled life . Don’t worry , there are still quite a few people we know who are not in this space , but what this attitude does do , is permeate through to everyone . Keeping up with the Jones’s ………… I can’t cop it .