It’s a beautiful balmy Saturday night , I’d normally like to sit on the front deck and watch the sun go down , but no , it’s safer out the back Emma and I sit out the back , feet up and chew the fat whilst downing another new drop . Yep even Emma is downing an IPA , that’s an achievement . This is a big drop , this particular beer is more rounded with a soft sweeter finish , quite rich and sickly after a couple . The back deck doesn’t see the sunset but it’s quiet and cool and from here Marcus can’t see us .Eventually we drift inside to eat home delivered Thai before embarking on the last 2 episodes of Breaking Bad . This has been our little routine of late . There’s only so much reality tv and baseball you can watch , but now we’ve finished Breaking Bad we’ve gotta find a new show . Under the cover of darkness we open the front door and settle into the finale ……. then we hear the footsteps . Like a blood hound on the scent, old Mate arrives 5 minutes after the door is opened and then walks straight in b4 we can even sit up . This happens multiple times a day . Marcus is always loud , he’s got a scratchy domineering tone that can be heard a block away . He implores me ( does every single day ) to come to the volleyball finals at Manhattan Beach where he’s trying to flog off his Tshirts . I reckon they look shit but he reckons this is the beginning of his next big venture . Anyway he says he’l get me at 8am to take me down there to hang out with all the pro volleyballers and promote his stuff . I say maybe , but he takes this as a solid confirmation. I’m thinking , ‘ not a chance in hell ‘ . Sure enough I wake up and I’m thinking how I can get out of this . There’s no milk in the house so I walk to the supermarket just at the time he will get me . Sure enough multiple texts come in , but I’m safe , a couple of miles away on foot . Emma warns me that she heard him on our front porch sniffing out to see if we are awake . Emma sits quiet , tv off until he eventually goes . I get back closer to 9 and all is quiet . Eggs and bacon cooking for breakfast , I look out the door all content that Marcus ‘s car is gone . Yep we’re free …………. and then he appears at the front door ……… ” cooking bacon , I love bacon . You ready to go down there Troy ” ……………Kill me now

The look of horror on my kids face . Tex flew into a rage , denouncing me with expletives. Leroy looked hurt , it was like I took all his balls off him . I burst out laughing with smug satisfaction for it confirmed what I already knew . This is a sterile little neighbourhood when it comes to neighbourly love . Civility , political correctness, quiet , heads down keep to yourself and mind your own business. This is North Hermosa / Manhattan Beach . Oh , and I forgot to add the most important a trait … money . There are exceptions ; a couple of families we’ve met but Marcus being the main one . In fact he’s the opposite ;loud , belligerent , intrusive and just a pain in the arse . We are into the 8th week of an 11 week summer break for the kids . It’s a crazy long Holliday that so sums up this area . It’s assumed you are going to have kids in weekly camps , summer schools or that one parent will be home . With bored kids , relentless heat , no surf and ‘old mate ‘ constantly badgering us the fuse is smouldering dangerously low . Add a large dose of Fortnite addiction that parslyizes this household and it’s only a matter of time …….., BANG!! 85 kilos finally erupted. Trying to get the kids off their devices is a daily wrestle . With a doctors appointment in 20 minutes and numerous prods , demands and pleading for the kids to get ready , I told them by the time I get into the car I will start tooting the horn until they came . Still they wouldn’t budge . Fuck you little pricks , I know a way : embarrassment. And so I started , small toots at 1st but still nothing . I look at my watch , 215 pm . I yell out , half hearted but still no kid at the door . At 1st I didn’t intend to act on my threat but now I don’t care . It’s time to rattle some cages and bring some life into our dull little street . I press down on the car horn for 20 seconds straight . People are coming to their front doors , heads are peeking through blinds and people are looking over fences . Tex eventually comes to the front door shaking his head and asking what I’m doing . ” I’m trying to take you to the doctor , Dip Shit !!” Leroy hasn’t surfaced . I start tooting again . It’s 218 now and the 10 to 15 minute drive has become tight , as per usual . I order Tex to go go in and get him . With house and car doors slamming , screaming from me and Tex and wheels squealing we leave home at 220 . I here my phone beeping as I drive and I’ve got a fair idea it’s Marcus . When the dust settles he lectures me on the accepted behaviour of this area . I tell him I don’t give a fuck anymore . He laughs and tells me that I was lucky the police weren’t called as he fully expected it to happen . He also tells me that a couple of neighbours came over and they talked about us . We were labelled as ‘White Trash ‘ . I smiled and nodded . On reflection it made me feel good , it’s probably the truth and I’d rather be that than some stuck up , entitled person stuck in the beige bubble of the South Bay . When I told the the boys and Emma , well …… let’s just say they were not happy . The White Trash label was met with bewilderment. Me , I couldn’t stop laughing .

I took off at 7am , looked over my shoulder one more time and sighed . Yep , first rideable waves in a while but I got other things to do . Head east , straight out from the coast . It’s hot , again . Humid , again . Artesia Blvd through Redondo Beach , Torrance and then the holy marker himself , the 405, This is the unofficial divide from coast to inland and a whole different play ground . It’s flat out here . Concrete , cars and the shimmer of relentless heat have strangled any optimism there might’ve been . 3 exits to Compton fly by , massive concrete drains like you’ve always seen In Hollywood movies and the scattering of the only two trees that grow over here ,palms and gum trees . I pull off at the 605 and turn towards Cerritos College, Norwalk .Theyre all names you’ve probably heard before , mentioned on tv or heard in movies . This is the real LA out here ; hard , old , weather beaten , black , Hispanic , schools with high wire fences and no grass , corner liquor and drug stores . I glide along wondering what has happened in the neighbourhood last night . It’s dead this morning , hardly a soul out . …., And there it is , Cerritos College . A large education campus in the middle of flatsville . On investigating what this school offers it seems it’s similar to our TAFES in Australia , but I stand to be corrected as I didn’t thoroughly explore its offerings . What I did notice was that nearly all of its alumni are baseball and NFL players . It’s the jungle out here and sport can be the only way out . If little Johnnie wants to be a star he’s gotta crawl over the tough kids who’ll play ball in the the concrete sun of south LA . Im here for a track meet , another offering of a new experience and a method of accruing more intern hours . This is an athletic meet for older athletes , weekend warriors and USC graduates. The event itself was quiet , although I do love track and field and was happy to watch events why others discussed other things . Was even there to witness a 65 yr old man run 12.3 for the 100 m , a world record that was disallowed due to a tail wind . Still the whole event fascinated me , not for the competition or the massage , but for seeing a small bit of the real world . You come here and you pinch yourself that your lucky to have been brought up in Australia .

I grin to myself as I know sooner or later Tex is gonna get under old mates (Marcus) skin . There’s a lot of things I don’t reveal about Texxy boy in this blog , but I’ve been waiting smugly for him to rub old mate up the wrong way . You see Tex is extremely street smart , has a big circle of friends and can be a smart arse . Marcus has a fascination with him . He reminds him of his own son who has a lot of similar traits . Tex can’t cop him and gives Marcus nothing . As stupid as it sounds ,Tex has quite a few similar traits to Marcus and his son . There is a lack of filter in their behaviour , especially when it comes to patience and being heard . I think Marcus would love to be in his shoes . He gave me some condoms with the intention that I give them to Tex . He reckons he’l be needing them soon ……….. He is 13 , but as I’ve told you before , kids are free range and advanced here . You see Marcus has let me use his soft long board ;of course that comes with a caveat , he wants to follow us down to the beach . “Hey Troy where are you going ?”, he barks . Oh shit. ” Straight out front ” , I reply . ” I’ll come along ” ,he says . “You’ll have to fucken hurry Marcus , cause we’re going now . ” ” Just wait , wait Troy , please ” ” Nah mate , we’l meet ya down there . Right out next ta Tower 28 “. I quickly shuffle Leroy down the road . Hopefully the poor old fucker with his bad knee might change his mind . We’ve been down the beach for half an hour and no sign of him . I feel a little guilty but geezus its a lot quieter without him . Then I see him , he’s looking for us on the other side of the tower . ” Shit Leroy , let’s get in the water real quick so he can’t see us ” I hover with head just above water . I notice him talking to kids , looks like he’s in some kind of black tracksuit . He’s a ranga and is very vulnerable to the hot Californian sun . He then trudges our way . Fuck it , I feel sorry for him and I wave him over . As he approaches I now understand what he’s wearing . It’s a stinger suit . A skinny 67 year old man with a limp in a loose wetsuit in 35 degree heat . I have to grind my teeth together to stop myself from bursting with laughter . He looks pissed . ” You know that son of yours Troy ? He’s a real arsehole and so are his entitled friends . “. ” Oh shit what happened Marcus ?” I already have a fair idea . ” Those little smart arses were laughing at me and just being smug little fuckers .Tex wouldn’t even converse with me or bring his mates into line . ” ” Oh shit , that’s no good , I’ll talk to him later ” . ” Do I look stupid in this stinger suit ?” “Weeeell ….. nah mate you don’t look too odd , I think . “. Of course it doesn’t stop Marcus making conversation with a young girl in a G string , all the while I shake my head and laugh to myself . Later I talk to Tex . He tells me that his mates thought he was some type of freak and they all burst out laughing . I asked him what he did? He said nothing , kept a straight face and stared him off . Yep , Tex ……….. he’s not as patient or should I say soft , like I am .

We are at the height of summer , well I’m guessing so on my 2nd years experience. For the last month temperatures have regularly sat above 30 . Yeah we’ve been in the water a lot . I’ve even been stupid enough to be drinking beer with a few dads and paid the price .The nights have been uncomfortable, not Melbourne uncomfortable but more a relentless build . You wouldn’t be as concerned if there was air conditioning in these houses ;but as I’ve stated in the past ,these home luxuries aren’t common here . One side of the house cops the afternoon sun , it’s that magic moment when the setting sun drops below the roof line of west facing houses that the house cools . At the moment vast fires rage across California , creating the most breathtaking sunsets Beach concerts , ocean swims and night time surf life saving competitions keep the focus on the Coast . Not to mention that the water temperature has risen to 23 degrees plus , the highest it’s ever been ( hmmmm global warming ?) Humidity is building as a cyclone inches up the coast . Yep all us surfers are waiting and waiting . By Thursday the 1st pulse of possibly the most epic swell in my time will smash this coast up , oh yeah . Surfing board shorts and worrying about chest rash , fuck it can’t be too bad . Tonight we hit the park 100 m from our house to watch the kids movie Zootopia under the stars while I sip on some tasty beverages . Yep just saying it’s hot , damned hot . Just one more time I’m gonna send you another Californian sunset Nah , I can’t promise the one more time bit .

It’s busy here, real busy . All time traffic but more so in the summer . Think any Holliday location you’ve been to and you know you’ve gotta be patient. That’s ok , you allow for it . It’s more the creep up effect of bad habits that eventually lights the fuse . Like I’ve said before they don’t like to indicate or acknowledge you if you let them through . Double park and block the road whilst the hubby runs into the shop . Hey it’s ok you drive a Mercedes 4wd and you have special rights . U turn across double yellow lines to grab that park on the other side .Thats ok you drive a Porsche and you’re entitled to cut oncoming traffic off . Then there’s the foot crossings that are in high volume here . I make it a habit to wait for gaps in traffic before I walk out , it’s only common courtesy . The rules of good decorum go out the window when you’re in a hurry . Normally Elporto is a ten minute drive to home . Yesterday I had 8 minutes to get Leroy , factoring in Thursday afternoon summer time and I estimated 15 minutes to drive the 5 km . I make great ground until ‘old mate ‘ cuts me off in a beat up 2002 Mazda . He then drops to a crawl while he starts to point to the beaches , almost stopping at every street . I’m starting to boil . “You stupid fuck , you’ve decided to be tour guide at my expense .” 2 minutes later he pulls to a stop and attempts to back up whilst I sit two feet off his arse . Nah , I slam down on the horn and drive up next to him . “Use your *+%^* indicator you stupid ^*+*^ !!! ” Ole mate is black with tear drop tattoo on the cheek and stares right through me . He shakes his head and with car tooting behind me I drive off . 1st time I’ve lost it in years , might’ve been the wrong guy . As my neighbour Marcus warns me , ‘he was probably carrying (gun). Next day I’m circumspect. I ‘l drive to the spa quietly . I cruise along Manhattan Blvd , when I notice a couple of cocky volleyballers marching to the pedestrian crossing . Cheeky fuckers just waltz out without pausing . It’s their right , but just cause there’s a volleyball tournament and you think your important ( everyone who lives in Manhattan Beach does ) you can at least acknowledge that it isn’t easy to be aware of every crossing ( every 100 m to 200m) . I stop comfortably and take off when they’re on the other side , driving under the limit , when I hear ” Hey slow down dude ! That’s when I’m enraged . I stop the car and wind down the window ….. and then it’s on . We are both yelling at each other . I’m giving all my best from the old Tanti Park days . Yep , language ……. no one can go to the gutter like an Aussie or Pom . It’s enough , I see the pause and the arching of the back . I take it as a small win and drive off nodding . No more Mr Nice guy .Ok you fuckers , enough . I’m not taking this shit anymore . Be polite and considerate ……. if not I’m more than happy to tell you to go fuck yourselves , but not if you’re driving a beat up Mazda

Bill and Kim have a son named Cooper . He reminds me of that little kid out of ‘Mad Max ‘ who throws the silver boomerang , same big hair and little body . He lives up the back alley and often runs up to see if Leroy wants to play . The alley is ugly visually but it acts as a bit of a sanctuary from the traffic and the other neighbour at the front of our house .Bill is that gregarious guy that seems to know everyone and always seems up and about . Kim is laid back and natural . You look up the alley and they’ve got a serious pad . Saturday night saw us invited . Up stairs onto the balcony we shifted and it’s here that you see the best of Hermosa Beach . A beautiful crimson sunset , two very cool and relaxed people in Bill and Kim washed down with cold beer and a beautiful Pinot Noir . It doesn’t get much better . Shit , please Bill , invite us back up . Feels like I’m at a resort or famous hotel , except it’s our neighbour . Hermosa Beach and it’s people at its best.

Yep , it’s summer , for a change . Hot , yep . Washed out, yep. Wanna beer everyday , yep . Had one everyday , no ……….. it’s been tough . How many sunsets ?.. too many . What am I to do ? Send you countless photos of the same shot every 24 hours ….. tempting . Surf , almost no . Swell , but doesn’t break properly here . When it does the black flag could easily be up . That’s fucked up . Still , it can turn it on , and that’s something I love . Tex? Don’t see him , he’s out . Shit he is only 13 ? Yep . Been back 2 weeks and he’s been home 3 days . Normal? Hmmmm maybe ? For here yes , for Mornington …… no . Flesh , acres of it . Sick of it ? Never . Beach volleyball ? Huge here . Tall , athletic , blonde , derrière, tan , thongs , healthy , impressed ? Hell yeah . Busy ? Always . Has it’s pros ….. people watching , never gets boring . Have I got used to it ? Yeah , it doesn’t feel American cliche anymore . The all American jock ? Just another face now , used to stop and mentally shake my head and laugh . Same with the Brandi’s , Candy’s and Cameron’s . They’re everywhere , often beautiful . What’s the matter with you guys ? Get your arse over here and see for yourself . It doesn’t have to be the dream Holliday , that can wait . This is the rarest of opportunities .You know people who live here for probably the first time in your lives . Take advantage of us , the cheap alcohol , our unique beach locale , California , summer …………… memories . We won’t be here for ever ………. don’t have any regrets .

The famous punk band Black Flag originated from Hermosa Beach , so did the Descendants and Pennywise . I can’t pretend that I don’t know what the black flag means , but today I saw it enforced . This place is dam hot at the moment , hovering in the mid 30s. In land closer to 40 , Palm Springs will be 49 tomorrow . The summer is notoriously flat when it comes to surf , only occasional southern swells sneak in . Incredibly , the large swell that created huge surf in Victoria last week has flown out by New Zealand and tracked out into the Pacific ,pushing a long awaited new swell for the West Coast of US. Hermosa Beach is bypassed in these conditions but for the northern end starting at 28th street onwards . ( out the front of our joint )The 1st warp of these steep angled swells catch the corner where I live , they then track up the bay almost parallel to the beach . The last few days the build has increased , all but closing down the northern spots . It’s best to hunt for waves straight out the front , beautiful . Ahh , but it’s hot and the rarest of offshore afternoon conditions prevail . I take Leroy down and take his new birthday ‘skipper’ surfboard ( soft board but pretty high performance) knowing full well that he’l want the boogie board . Sure enough Leroy’s happy playing in the sand so I decide to take the ‘skipper ‘out . I wade out and that’s when I hear a whistle and then yelling . I look around and I see the lifeguard marching from his tower . Shit ….. he wants me . I know what he’s gonna say . “Sir ! You can’t surf here “. “Why not , mate “. “It’s a black flag area , sir . This entire stretch has the black flags up . You’l have to go 3 towers up (600 yards ) . ” “You’re kidding mate ? There’s know one out swimming . It’s too dangerous , that’s why I was going to go out and surf . ” “Sorry sir but this entire stretch ( about a k or more ) is a no surf zone “. I’m stunned and mope back to sure . The thing is , if I ignored him I’m certain the police would be called and I’d be met back on the sand by the boys in black . Let’s be honest I shouldn’t be leaving Leroy there and all I was going to do was catch one and come in ( I think ) . So now I’ve seen the positives of the beach up here I can also see the problems in summer ……… the black flag . You must surf early in the morning .It’s hot , there’s waves out there , 300 m out the front of my house , no one out …… hmmm

This is hard to beat , the vibe . Not saying it’s better than Aus , but unique . A Saturday night with the door open , the gentle sea breeze wafting over the toes. The echo of partying, bbq , tunes , laughter and the surf . I’ve gotta go for a stroll down to Boccato’s , the local deli and institution. It’s more than a deli , it’s a convenience store , liquor shop and general meeting place . Walking alone , taking a deep breath and sucking in the dope scented ocean air . Californian sounds . 20 something’s back home on summer break , sitting on deck chairs drinking Pacifico , blue and red cups for drinking games . Kids walking home with take away Mexican . A big old chocolate labrador laying on top of a brick wall fence waiting for passerby’s to give him a pat . Then there’s the quality , the girls , the women …. they’re beautiful here , without trying . Well bred , thin , blue eyed , blonde in torn off shorts , cowboy hats . Yep . Brunettes too , fuck it the whole gamut . Healthy , educated with long angular boy friends . In Boccato’s it continues . Just keep your eyes on the shelf Howie , find the beer for Christ’s sake . They’re privileged but I admire it . They’re not drinking cheap shit . Nice wines , gourmet beers and marinated meats with salad . You can do it here , alcohol is ridiculously cheap . I saunter back ,crack open a Panga Drop ( mini can of 6.5 percent Nicaraguan Gold ) and suck it all in . The odd nod as I pass each group . Summer , Hermosa , California . Wish you were here to feel it ……, . Still feels like I’m in a movie