We headed to Elporto for lunch at the Fishbar . Easter Sunday , 15 minutes up the road , just Leroy , Emma and myself . We got the recommendation from a guy at the StPatricks day street party . We only got talking to him because his mate was an Aussie , who just happened to be visiting . The Fishbar is your fine dining type of establishment, well sort of . Inside it’s classic American ; booths , wall to wall tvs , a horse shoe bar with punters sucking on cocktails , bench seating and relaxed . After being seated and slowly draining a ‘great white ‘( another fine beer ) a family shifts in right next to us . Immediately I sense it , her face is weathered , fit , experienced . I’m onto it , Emma’s talking but I’m listening with one ear , the other is honing in on the woman and her family .She’s talking but the background noise drowns out her voice . Then I hear it : “Whaddya you guys want for lunch? “Unmistakable, an Aussie accent . Fuck it I’m boots in , I interrupt there lunch talk , “Do I hear an Aussie accent there ” The woman looks over with a big a smile , “You sure do ” . She asks if we are on holidays? “Nup , we live here , yourself?” “Same ” . We live a couple of suburbs apart ( 10 mins ) .Before long our whole lunch schedule is on hold as we get the lowdown on each others background . Jodie is from Melbourne , moved here in the mid 2000s ( I forget ) to settle with her partner . We end up talking football , she’s a cats fan and quickly the 2009 Grandfinal comes up ( the pain ) , next we’re onto sandpaper gate and the cricket , followed by surfing . Her partner suggests we change the seating so we can talk and the other half of our families can settle in for Easter lunch . Eventually ( after an excellent meal ) we exchange details and connect through Facebook . The following lunchtime I head over to Mira Costa high school to pick Leroy up from baseball camp ( spring break , kids often go to day camps ) . He’s up the far end , I’m forced to walk around the outside , past the soccer field ,when I see a man watching 3 boys kicking a ball around . I hear him talking from a good 20 meters away . Wow , did I just pick that up . He said “hey mate give your brother a go .” I slowly walk past, but the kids are playing and dads just watching . Nah I can’t do it , I keep walking , feel like a stalker . I get to Leroy’s camp and I’m filled with regret . It can’t hurt to say hello , I know it’s not done over here and especially to complete strangers but my brain tells me that this bloke is an Aussie and my intuition is twisting in my gut . I realise I’ve gone the wrong way and had to go inside the fence line to get to Leroy’s camp , I’ve got to go back the way I’ve come in . I walk back past the guy and his kids and I can just pick his voice up over his kids banter . Nah can’t do it , I walk past . I’m 20 meters past when fuck it , I’m going back there . “Hey mate , you’re not an Aussie are you ? “. ” Yeah mate , you too ?” That’s two complete strangers in 24 hours that I’ve opened up a conversation to ( not my strong suit ) . 10 minutes of non stop talking between us and there feels an instant bond . Pete is from Sydney , but his family has just spent the last 3 years in Switzerland and London before that . We exchange details and agree to catch up for a beer . Yeah , we’ve got things in common , but there’s factors . Socially we are strong , we can talk , and not just about the weather . You do feel emboldened because you feel a bit unique , but fellow Aussies know that our country is special . We are wealthy , we are not divided and we can talk to anyone , our guard is down . Our connection is strong , when you live in another country you yearn for your own . I hope to catch up with these guys for a beer ….or 4 .

Technology , it’s embraced here . Tech gadgets , tvs and all of that shit is big here . I’m backwards , had a dislike for technology . Anonymity was going to be my thing , but I’m getting dragged along kicking and screaming . Mobile phones , everyone’s got them any where you go , kids too.Here kids have them at a much younger age , Australia will follow suit. You see I reckon phones are good to talk in , but the Yanks like to communicate by email . So annoying , that’s what messages are for . Email is the go to contact method , weird. All of Leroy’s homework is online , we are to print it and send it back complete at the end of the week . Only thing is we don’t know how to connect the printer with wireless . So the printer has become a vase . I write homework out on lined paper and Leroy completes it from there . I think the teachers must think we (Aussies)are backwards .I frequently will ask businesses if they have details on a pamphlet so I can take Home and peruse , but am often told that all that is only online now .I don’t think the internet coverage is better than Australia, but I’m the worst person to ask . In fact I reckon it’s slower here in Hermosa . It makes you realise how lucky Australia is , to be building a faster network , regardless of the political debate about its cost . Our phones are still the original Australian telecom planned versions . We had to get them decoded to fit the American system . For some reason they still play up constantly . We kept our original phones because we were unable to get phone contracts as we had no credit history . It saved us having to buy new phones . Low emission cars , hybrids and battery charging facilities are common place . Diesel is not seen or liked as it’s looked upon as a dirty fuel . Tesla is starting to really become the desired car for anyone on the way up who is making money . I’m not into cars but I reckon there the best looking car on the road . Elon Musk is a demigod in LA . He is even building tunnels under the city to transport his workers through high speed rail . Could you ever imagine a private investor who’d have the audacity to pull that off in Melbourne or Sydney . This place is still like a parallel universe ; some things are progressing at pace and others are trapped in the past century . Technology is embraced , but the infrastructure is a decaying relic of the 70s . This is LA , the city of extremes ………….. “Alexa turn the music up , all I can hear is sirens “

Blue Moon brewing have done it . The crossover from the past to the future has few barriers , at least over here . Craft brewings influence on the alcohol market grows continually . The supermarket shelves have new beers added weekly , swelling out into the aisles . The choice ! It can have me stuck in the far aisles for 15 minutes , my family will not come with me if I’m getting beer . They reckon I take too long . Getting the green cans( no not VB) might take a whole new meaning soon enough . Blue Moon brewing is in the process of introducing 3 new beers to the market later this year . ………… the bud beer . You reading this and thinking , hay whats he saying ? You will definitely be confused once you start drinking these mellow little numbers. Marijuana beer . Yes , marijuana beer will be on our shelves soon . They won’t have any alcohol but instead it will be THC . It’s a brilliant idea , so obvious that no one saw it coming . Can you imagine going to parties with your 6 pack of green timber infused lager , mingling without having to sneak out to the balcony to share a blunt with mates . Taking away the many problems that dope can bring , this will be a revolutionary approach to socialising . I started laughing when this was announced on the news , I’m guessing the giggles will keep coming once you start drinking them . The permutations this will bring to future drinking will be mind boggling , pardon the pun . Mixing your drinks brings on a different meaning , and to think what might happen if you drink too much . It could get ugly . How does it affect music at night clubs , more trance and mellow out ? The legalising of marijuana has let genie out of his bottle , now he’s getting back in it ……so we can drink him

It’s Easter isn’t it ? Kids are going to school , everyone’s working , nothing’s closed , it’s just a normal Friday . I’m in the US , they’re way more conservative, surely this is a big day on the calendar . Religious, hell yes . Way more than us . So what’s going on ? Where’s the holliday , the no eating meat , that biggest of days for fishmongers and coverage of all things Jesus and his crucifixion ?. Not here , not California . It’s not really surprising as California prides itself on being progressive, multicultural and diverse . The small Christian minority hasn’t the pull it once had , thus this day has lost its relevance . There’s no way a state this big and an economy this large (5 th largest in the world !!) is going to shut down for the death of a long haired , bearded dude 2000 years ago . There’s still plenty of those guys here . The US is so big and so diverse that it’s like a continent with a heap of little countries rather than States . Each state is independent and autonomous. Only 12 states in the US have a public holliday today . ‘Pass over ‘has been mentioned just as much as Easter . I had to look up to see that ‘Pass Over ‘ is a celebration of the Jewish faith . The Jewish have a big pull in the US . Some states in the East Coast like NewYork and Boston and then a few States in the Bible Belt will stop for Good Friday . The stock exchange is closed but apart from that it’s business as usual . No federal public holiday .It’s strange looking at news feeds and Facebook back home and hearing of Easter holidays , eating fish on Friday and even the holy sacrilege of playing football on this day . ( Stkilda you were fucking pathetic you don’t deserve a marquee game) . Then there’s the Easter eggs bit ….. where are they ? Yes ,there’s a couple of shelves dedicated to them but it’s totally underwhelming. No advertising on Easter eggs ! No supermarket addds, Easter bunnies , nothing …..,, it’s still lawyers and drug companies .That is a shock . The commercial opportunities on nearly everything are milked to the extreme … to think that the Easter bunny and his eggs are not is incomprehensible. There is a public Easter egg hunt at our local park so there’s something. Any way who would want to eat their chocolate . There’s no Cadbury , Red tulip or Chocalitier here . The news this morning : Good Friday not mentioned , Easter weekend…. nothing . This morning we have rap dancers and a pop musical showing their wares . Easter … not here. I’m going early , it’s only Friday , sorry Good Friday ,but it’s a relic of the past . Not Hollywood enough …… …

They can’t do it ….. leave stuff the way nature intended . When I put salt and pepper on food there’s a subtle taste in the background, I don’t like it . I thought it was the meat over here but the answer was in my pantry . The pepper . I assumed the peppercorns must taste a little different ;sourced differently , maybe a different type . They’re only peppercorns , you can see them clearly in they’re little grinder thingy . No , after reading the ingredients I found coriander and allspice had been added . Actually sounds ok , but that’s where it ends . The allspice dominates the pepper. Nutmeg and cinnamon are not what I want on my meats ,tomato’s and eggs . There’s the special salt that Emma’s workmates said we have to get . The same result , dominated by nutmeg and cinnamon. So wrong! Mexican coffee , loaded with cinnamon. Donuts , some breads , biscuits , hot chips ….. with this awful allspice shit sprinkled all over them . Wrong , wrong …. wrong ! Then there’s the cookies ( yes , they’re biscuits ) , cakes and sweets loaded with that horrible fake taste . We do it in Aus too , but here they’re king in fake taste . My kids love their shit preserved , colour added , wrong tasting stuff . I’ve made some pretty good home made shortbread , choc chipped biscuits, banana bread and anzacs … but no they don’t like them anymore . Not enough preservatives , crap after tasting chemical wash and corn syrup to compete with . Butter , sugar , flour and eggs are out and the chemical A to Z are in . Yes , Safeway’s and Coles love this shit as well , but over here it’s hard to find a baker that sells a light soft sponge with jam and cream . The alternatives are skinny , it’s fake crap or … ….. fake crap . The free market of the US has its advantages , but they’re fucking up the basics . Unfortunately our kids don’t know any better , they’re hooked . Ps , don’t tell me to take it off them , I don’t want to go to war . As a parent you said you weren’t going to let your kid grab that Lolly off the shelf , but as soon as they threw that tantrum in public you shoved it down their throat . Same analogy here .

” Hey knackers, throw it over here . Thanks buddy . “Ah , my name’s not natters it’s Steven . “Cool , Stevo ” ” No it’s Steven ” “Ok Steve “. “Steven !”…..Thankyou Steven . ” Hi , I’m Troy , I’m Leroy’s Dad ” “Hi …Anne Kennedy ” ” Hi Anne , how are you?” ” I’m fine and yourself and it is just Troy ? ” ” That’s it ” I’m in the supermarket and a guy stops to ask me if I know where a certain brand of chips are . I tell him I’ve got no clue . He stops and realises there’s an accent . ” Are you from England ?” “No mate , I’m Australian . That’s like me asking if you’re from Canada ” “Oh , you’re an osssie , how cool ” I nod my head and shrug my shoulders . “Do you live here ” , he asks . “”Yes I do , anyway I’m Troy ” “Pleasure to meet you Troy I’m John Delamano the second ” …….” Ahh please to meet you John “, he pauses for a couple of seconds and then smiles . You briefly see his brain ticking over at my reply to his name . You seeing the trend . They take their names seriously , no nicknames , no shortened versions , it’s all official . You’re last name is almost never used in a shortened fashion as a nick name . There’s a really nice guy by the name of John Mark . After calling him John or even slipping in JM over the first 6 months he has corrected me so often that it has to be John Mark . They don’t get offended , actually they hate confrontation but they’re not loose with their name . Stiffness , almost awkward , it’s the American way .

I knew it , the atmospheric river , the Pineapple Express or whatever you wanna call it …, it didn’t hit here . I told yoos that they get excited , some would say carried away, I’d say delusional. 2 inches , 5 inches , even 10 inches of rain predicted in some areas of LA . The Pineapple Express meaning the colours of the radar ; green light , yellow heavier was the excited catch phrase . Nothing gets in the way of a good story , and nothing gets the news services excited more than rain clouds . I’m joking but I’m not . The tv coverage was hilarious , reporters waiting for nearly 48 hours , all through the night for the rain to come . I was confused , the computer modelling showed it just missing LA and hitting the northern coast of Malibu , Ventura and Santa Barbara.It was to migrate down and spread over the wider area of LA for 24 to 36 hours , but only in the light green radar colour . Light green represents light showers . Yet it was to be LA s biggest storm of the year . And then it came and did as the modelling suggested , drenching the north and dampening the rest of us . I waited … and waited but still the coverage was in a fervour about LAs deluge . You gotta be kidding , we’d be lucky to get 3 mils , I’d say 2 mils . I waited for the correction , even dreamt of an apology , but nothing . Back in Melbourne we get the weather forecasters doing similar things , but at least after missing the mark they’d admit their disappointment and address why the front missed Melbourne . In fact they could do no wrong in my eyes as long as Bunny ( Jane Bunn) showed off her ample figure whilst arching her back to fit the radar in shot . The weather event did do a job to the north of LA , 6 feet of snow over 72 hours in Mammoth , but that’s not here . I’m shaking my head , this is nothing , not even minor , it rained and drizzled for one whole day , big deal ! At least admit that the vast majority didn’t get it , but still no , You raved on about the 4 inches some isolated town 50 ks rom LA got . You carried on like Tony Barber from Sale of the Century but you didn’t admit that we missed out . When it only rains five times a year you can understand the excitement , but this news coverage is … UnAustralian .

We’re losing them . Tex , well he was practically a yank after 6 weeks . The full accent , the renouncing anything Australian . He was quick to divorce the green and gold . There are words said in this house , that sound completely different to the way they used to . Even Emma has adopted little changes . Like the words ‘trash ‘ and ‘gas’ and ‘sweater’ , ‘candy ‘ ,rout ( route ) , curb and there are others . I’m holding firm , I either ignore these words or I correct them . I’m not going down that slippery slope . The American sports , this is a futile battle . Soccer is the only alternative . It’s a lose lose . Ok , I don’t mind the American sports , but we know Aussie rules is a special game . And Dale I’ve come to the conclusion that American football is not better than Australian football . The other day I bought my 1st piece of American sporting apparel, a baseball glove , 2nd hand at that ( an old glove is easier to use ) . I have little choice , as throwing a baseball is a regular occurrence. The glove has multiple uses :Every day I’m pulled out into the park and it’s the same old story ; “no dad , we’re not taking the sherrin to the park , I don’t do that anymore “. There’s the little songs that Leroy hums , Yanky doodle dandy , songs naming American states and past presidents , even songs about the constitution. I know ….. stick your fingers down your throat . Tex has integrated but he has been firm that he wants to come back to Australia and finish high school , until recently . ” Dad , I don’t wanna go back . I like it here , I like the freedom , the cell phones , the staying out late at night on weekends , the surf at our doorstep and all the cool take out foods . Back in Australia i’l be stuck at home , the kids won’t be as adventurous or allowed to hang out at night . ” Then there was Leroy ; ” Dad I think I like it here ” Whys that I ask ? “Well if I go home I won’t be able to play baseball , and that’s my game now . ……. “Yeah ok , we’l see about that then . ” I’m worried that’s 3 out of 4 , content …. here for Christ’s sake ! Fark !! and right now Leroy is constantly interrupting me and fucking up my blog as he wants to throw the ball across the room , catching with our baseball gloves …… again!! Oh shit , this is looking ugly .

I tell you what’s weird : looking outside and seeing built up concrete and render . Seeing tall palm trees . Seeing clouds . Seeing darkness , bleak , forboding , drizzle , wet roads , puddles . I tell you what’s weird ; standing in front of the fire at 830 in the morning , undressing , warming up my wetsuit . I tell you what’s weird ; walking out of our apartment in a wetsuit with board under arm . Wrong even , you look at your reflection in car windows , try to keep the head down and ignore passing cars with their headlights and wipers on . I could be anywhere , could be the back streets of Richmond or Abbotsford . When it’s grey like this , California becomes grimy inner Melbourne . Drivers look at you in fascination . Is he really walking through the streets to the beach to go surfing in this weather ?Crazy ….. repeat that last sentence in your best American accent . Now you’re getting it . I tell you , I love this weather . It becomes a ghost town , introspective , fucking real . I tell you what’s weird ; seeing yourself in shopfront windows as you approach the pier . The silver grey hair , the paunch , the old man trying to stay young in a young mans get up . That’s not weird that’s depressing . I tell you what’s weird ; seeing the strand and pier avenue deserted I tell you what’s weird ; surfing down at the pier , not Mornington Pier on a big north westerly in freezing August but Hermosa pier in California . One of those piers with the long legs that you see on Baywatch or any one of those crass 80s and 90s American dramas . I tell you what’s weird ; seeing good waves . That is weird ! Afterwards , you walk back to the apartment , still dark , quiet , empty . What to do ? Look up footy scores and news , check out the cricket , hunt through Facebook . Keep busy . Now that is weird . We’ve been here 11 months , it’s taken a lifetime , but everyday I wake and realise that I’m in LA ………. it still feels weird .

Anticipation has been fever pitch . 24 hour reporting , journalists positioned along the northern beachside suburbs ……., waiting . It’s been comical , Santa has arrived if you’re a meteorologist. It’s taken the relentless investigation into the Trump Russia probe , the Trump Stormy Daniels affair , the Trump sacking of yet more senior staff , the Trump border wall, the Trump v California anything war and ah shit where was I ? Ok I’m laughing now . You guys voted him in!! For the last 5 days we’ve been on count down as a deep Pacific low pressure system slowly spins into the West Coast of America . An atmospheric river is the term used as this low pumps a stream of rain laden clouds into Los Angeles. Anything from 2 to 5 inches and in some parts up to 10 inches of rain have been predicted . It’s grey , cold , still ,but yet no serious rain . We had an hour of drizzle to light stuff , now it’s gone . We have news around the clock over here . It’s the lead story ,mid story and end story . The meteorologists are actually opening up the the hourly program .Thing is , we are nearly into day 3 and it still hasn’t happened . We just want it to goddam rain , the pressure is building . It’s the only thing anyone is talking about . Please come and put us out of our misery . It was whilst surfing today I saw the build up from another perspective. Conditions are still small but the ocean has become an eerie sheet of metal , disappearing into a murky horizon . We know you’re out there , your practically on top of us , stalled at our door step . I’m out my by myself in front of a man made rock wall in front of the chevron petro chemical plant . It’s always quiet down this end , I think the ugliness keeps the crowds down . You see things out here that others don’t . Today it’s my old mate , haven’t seen him since before Christmas . He’s got a new bike , acquired somehow . His burnt red brown skin covered up with long sleeves , but I know his face . No one can see him but me . He’s navigated down the rock wall and stuffed his yellow bike in between the boulders . The few people on the strand still game enough to brave these beautiful, still and grey conditions glide by , oblivious to old mate just below . He then tucks himself behind the boulders , placing pieces of plastic over the gaps . It’s time to wait …. I’m hoping he’s got a nice bottle of $5 vodka to see him through . Yeah , now I’m seeing another side of this rain dance …,…. it’s not good for everyone.