You hear about it days in advance .Myself ? I take extra interest .If it’s coming ,the 1st pulse will preceded it . When we 1st got to LA they were regularly wrong ,it became a running joke between Emma and I . Lately ,like in the last 14 months ? Spot on . The Ocean gives up the 1st clue ,a new swell arrives ; the horizon tends to gives up the 2nd sign ,the clean line separating blue water from blue sky begins to get murky . A little haze appears ….out there ,you can just see it . Like out of some sci fi movie the creeping haze appears ,slowly closing in . You can feel it ,the sun gets swallowed ,those beautiful winter rays aren’t radiating off your face anymore .The cold winter off shore winds remind of late May , early June northerlies in Melbourne .That clean cold grey cleanse that gets blown from the snow fields over The Dandenong Ranges is replicated in LA with the icy cold winds of the San Bernadino ranges .In a few hours it’s cold grey and still On dusk the sun breaks through momentarily ,revealing another vivid sunset ,by 5pm it’s dark , it’s close . Leroy and I sit in the lounge room ,tv off ,music ( the Lumineers ) playing ,the heater ticking away ,blinds open ,with a glass of red . Rain ……we don’t get it often ,but when it comes it closes in slowly ,it’s like a subtle change in the tide that gradually builds all day . Theres no storm fronts ,sideways blowing wind or blustery cold westerly changes that comes with living in Melbourne …It’s cosy now …the music goes off and the 1st pitter patter of rain can be heard . It seems stupid but I love it when rain is forecast in LA ….It’s Christmas Eve ,rain is forecast for Christmas Day …..love it ,I think Santa has sent us waves …..Merry Christmas everyone …I took this photo right on publishing time …it says rain

We drop Tex off to his supervised party . We thought it would be in Culver City ,a cool foody bar location but it turns out that it’s really in Westchester . We thought we could maybe hang out at a funky restaurant and then pick Tex up on the way back , instead we find ourselves at the back of LAX , surrounded by apartments ,hotels ,dark harsh streetscapes and not really the type of place we could see ourselves sitting at a table with a cocktail and tapas . The streets are dark at night over here ,the lighting is just there, so it’s hard to make a judgement on a place at night , but stuff it I will . Westchester feels like a place set up for short hotel stays ,airport traffic and dare I say it …concrete and cold .Theres a vulnerability in a lot of LA’s surrounds at night , this place is no different . Emma comes up with a plan . “Let’s go to Westfield Shopping Centre “… yes the same Westfields in Australia run by the Lowy family .Ohh fuck no , please …not a Saturday night stuck in a giant mall .

You pull into the car park ,there’s several car parking personal dressed in fluoros directing us to vacant spots , there’s also an obvious security presence . Ok , I like that ,you don’t need no hood lurking in the dark looking to roll some shopper loading their goods into the car .

Leroy, Emma and myself roll in . It’s busy , noisy , your typical shopping precinct at Christmas. There’s families everywhere .Why ? Why would you spend your Saturday night in a joint like this ? Its nearly 8 pm when we sit down and eat at the food court .I survey the area why Emma orders my Thai salad . I look down at Leroy ,I look at the passing stream of shoppers and then look back at Leroy . I check on all the other diners . There’s a creeping self awareness that we are in the minority ,even whilst sucking on a supersized regular soft drink I still feel as if I don’t quite fit in ,and I love it . It’s Leroys blonde hair , the Caucasian appearance , amplified with an Australian accent . I nod the head and mutter to myself ….. ” not in the bubble now pups ” . I normally hate the big shopping centre idea , especially over here . My mind tends to wander . I check on the exits and places to hide in . It sounds stupid , but it’s not a state of panic , just an observation that’ ‘shit’ happens over here . People from time to time like to shoot up crowded areas . Once I’ve checked my surrounds it’s back to normal , let’s look for the hottest women , the fattest fuckers , the wannabe gangsters and any strange looking creep , and there’s plenty in LA to be found . What’s most noticeable about the Westfield Culver City tonight is the multicultural crowd . Tonight it is dominated by Hispanic , Asian and Affro Americans . I don’t mind , in fact it feels good to be the outsider .The joint is full of the big brand stuff ,especially skate fashion and bling sneakers .They’re obsessed with the pimped up toe huggers over here . Like , really obsessed . We would spend 2 hours killing time .What I really notice is the families I saw earlier in the night are still here hanging around .Who does that shit ? Us tonight . Leroy did get his haircut at a barber dominated by Affro American staff and clientele , unfortunately my phone ran out of battery as a photo of a lone white boy with a shock of blonde hair surrounded by the black brotherhood was a site that had me chuckling . Would’ve never of saw ourselves in this type of setting . For the 1st hour I was happy to stroll around , laying on the Aussie accent at every opportunity, by the 2nd hour I was willing to chew my arm off to get outta there . Mall life …….I’m a fish out of water ,but it was fun to get in amongst some of the real punters of LA . For now …..It’s back to the Bubble .

Hello all , just signing in from the land of shallow . 2 weeks of cool ,grey and at times wet conditions are giving way to the inevitable blue skies of LA . We are just 8 days away from the shortest day of the year and the official 1st day of winter , although it feels that winter may have started a few weeks ago . Funny that , I thought the seasons changed at the start of a new month , like the rest of the world. Ahhh ,not here . We know America does it its way . Why use a simple system much like the metric system when you can dig your heels in and stay in the past ? Oh well , I guess that disproves my opening remark about being shallow .

We are in “Holliday Season ” in the US . We’ve just had the long weekend for Thanks Giving and are now heading into Christmas and New Years . Hollidays , meaning the kids get a week off for Thanks Giving and then another 2 weeks for Christmas . There doesn’t seem to be any real industry shut down outside of the schools . Christmas and December have a very different feel over here . There isn’t that chirpy vibe of summer beers , Christmas party’s , work break ups and family vacations . There’s a real grind in the air right now , not unlike June / July in Melbourne ,but the weird phenomenon of Christmas probably gives you something to focus on . Then there’s New Year’s Eve . It seems all wrong that this date would fall in the depths of winter . There’ll be no outdoor bbqs , shorts and thongs ( flip flops over here ) ,with day light just fading before 9pm . It’ll be well dark before 5 pm and still another 7 hours indoors to endure .It doesn’t bother me that much as I always thought New Years was over rated ,but still I admit it is fun to watch all the kids play in the late summer hours amped up at the idea of their parents loosening up for the big occasion. Of course I’m coming from an entirely different angle from the locals . They’ve lived it and know it to being no different to what they’ve always experienced . They’ll probably travel to see family or their family will come to them ,so I suppose there is that bond that keeps the spirit festive ,but shit …..in the cold ,held up inside .Nahh ,I think we’ve got it better. We’d love to travel back to Australia over the break ,but when air fares are at around 12 grand US return (15 grand Aus ) ,we can’t justify it ,maybe later .

On the flip side ….rain ,and with rain there is waves and when it rains the storm outlets pump out water ,creating holes in the sandbars ,which brings rips ,which in turn creates channels and most importantly …waves with a bit of shape .Yeah I know it bores you but I gotta throw it in .Sometimes the surf alone is the only thing that keeps me sane over here .The only negative is the very poor water conditions . After each rain event there are 72 hour warnings on entering the water ,but this is usually the best window for surfing . I’m out there , bad ears or not . On that note I’ve temporarily given up the idea of surgery on both ears as this medical system is extremely difficult to navigate and more costly than the Australian system .

I’m not at home as much but I’ve been thinking . Ole mate is on a 100% strike rate . On the rare occasion that I’ve had the front door open (5 times ) over the last month he’s just happened to bob in , remember I now have is phone number blocked .He’s arrived at different times of the day and to add to that he’s caught Leroy and I at the park a couple of times as well . The more I think about it the more I realise the strike rate isn’t really at 100%. For him to catch me so frequently reveals that the ole boy must regularly and probably daily drive past our place . The old fucker loves to stalk ….and shit does he love to talk ..about himself . “Hey Troy , you in there ? ” he yells knowing full well the doors opened while I prepare dinner . “Yeah “, I murmur ( fuck off I’m thinking ). “Can you please help me , I come around to get your advice on cooking short rib . What do I do ?” he asks . Fuck me dead , really ? ” Just stick it in the oven with foil and slow cook it .” I reply . ” You wouldn’t believe what happened to me at Starbucks whilst I was getting there special offer for 2 for 1 today .” He loves that shit , any deal on with the takeaway restaurants he’s 1st in line . “What happened ? ” I reply. ” The manager walked over from behind the counter and asked me if I remembered him from an event that took place in a dog salon 2 years ago .” To cut a long story short the young guy in his 20s wanted to take Marcus outside . I burst out laughing ..” Mate you obviously upset him like you did that guy who punched off your mirror ,or the upstairs neighbour you backed into , or like your ex wife who wants you dead and like Emma who wants you buried ,or like Alcoholics Anonymous banning you for a month for arguing , or like your last 2 landlords who kicked you out , or your sister Carolyn ( not even his real sister , he just called her that as he thought they were really close ..not ) for ordering you to get out of her life ….shit mate you’re just very unlucky I think .” “Oh Troy that’s not a nice thing to say , none of those things are my fault ” , he replies . ” Like I said mate, you’re just unlucky .” He leaves soon after …..with my Email address . Just 1 hour later a message comes in from no other than Ole Mate himself …’Troy I need your help . I have a sore hip . Do you think you could help an old friend and possibly provide a massage . …yours sincerely , your good friend Marcus . ‘ I pissed myself laughing . Geezus this guy won’t give up .

Speak soon people , enjoy the holiday vibe .

I told you it got cold .How cold? I walked out the back on a frigid steely grey morning .The shock of the wet concrete on my feet jarred all the way up into my jawbone .Fuck ,this is fucked up cold . I’ve got 250 yards of early morning bitumen and concrete to travail . I get to the sand but even it is insanely cold . “This is bullshit .” I declare to myself . I’m the very 1st guy in the water ,it isn’t nearly as cold but my feet have gone numb .I don’t recover ,surf super poor in painfully weak waves and head back home , but still the concrete is practically frozen . I get home and jump straight into a hot shower , my feet go an unusually bright red .It would be hours before the burning itch and colour subside . It gets a lot colder back in Victoria ( Australia) but usually you jump outta the car and probably put the booties on ,but you don’t need them here ,or I haven’t needed them yet ,but today caught me by surprise . It turns out the temperature was below 5 degrees Celsius and eventually creeps up to 13 . Later that day we would white knuckle our way up the 91 freeway in whiteout conditions .Eventually the day would come (2 years 8 months ) ,driving on concrete freeways in heavy rain .We made it unscathed ,fortunately the need to break and test the tyres on wet concrete didn’t come ,but I will say the sphincter was tightly puckered all the way .There’s no way we are going to Knottsberry farm today , it’ll have to be Saturday.

Unfortunately the change of days would have a big effect on our day ….crowds .Its pretty hard to judge Knottsberry when it’s so busy . The moment we get in the park we head to to the Ghost rider ,the largest timber roller coaster on the West Coast of the US .The wait time on the ride is already a staggering 2 hours ,just 20 minutes after the park opening . Nah ,stuff that . We get to the Supreme Scream and it doesn’t take too long to get to the front and then experience the 50 yard plummet .Amped up we decide to queue up for the next mad ride ,a roller coaster that has some mad arse reverse hairpin turn and a couple of 360 loops . 30 minutes later we get to the front ,we’re on the next ride .I’m nodding with a grin and a glint in my eye to Emma and Leroy ,the excitement and anticipation is about to come to its conclusion……and then it happens .The riders before us don’t come back , they’re stuck on the track .The thing has fucking broke down ! We are left with the decision to either wait or quit and hopefully come back and queue all over again .We walk after 5 minutes ,the ride reopens 90 minutes later , by this time the wait time on the line is over an hour . By lunchtime the park is bustling ,I’m pushing hard to keep on queuing but the kids vote me down for lunch ….we pay the price . Emma and I decide to line up for the Hang Time coaster whilst the kids played arcade games , the sign at the start of the ride stated it was a 65 minutes . “Stuff it let’s do it ,”I say . Eventually a gruelling 95 minute wait would ensue. The ride was off the charts, no doubt the most exhilarating theme park ride I’d ever been on , but no ride will ever get me lining up for 95 minutes …no , not ever again .Aching feet , lower back seizing and with a 5 mile stare we leave the park after 6 hours and really only see a small section ,riding only 2 of the signature rides ( there’d be at least 6 ) . It could’ve been different ; you can buy fast track passes which doubles your entry fee ,or better still ,hit it midweek . We learned our lesson ,we won’t be back on a weekend and I learned mine …I’m not big on theme parks .You can take the over priced shit food ,the huge lines ,the strollers and the sore feet and shove it up your arse . …..Now let’s get back and hit Damo’s 50th birthday party , theme park fatigue or not .

Damo turned 50 . We know Damian and Maddy from a chance encounter on only our 2nd day here . The 1st people we strike up a conversation with just happen to be Aussies at the local Target store, who just live up the road .What are the odds? Maddy acted as a kind of chaperone to American life for Emma and us . Knowing Damian and Maddy has opened up our network of fellow Aussies living in LA . There normal people who just happen to be pretty talented .We are talking Oscar nominees , music producers and head honchos ,but when we are in the Court’s ( Damian and Maddy) backyard drinking and letting the hair down it’s just a normal Aussie piss up with a few American friends to fill out the crew . At the end of Damos 50th bday speech he finished in typical fashion ; zip lining from his back patio into his swimming pool fully clothed in 10 degree drizzle . Would it be any other way ? Emma and I ?…..Hammered . We always get home after midnight when we do the Courts …….when the Aussie expats get together ….we always see it out as one of the last to leave ……we can’t help ourselves . It’s cold , Knottsberry farm is ticked off and I’m only just recovering …..can’t wait for the annual Australia Day bbq at the Courts .

The last 3 days have been ice cold and very wet . I’m talking tops of 14c and even colder on the coast . For the 1st time this morning steam came off my breathe . I know that sounds stupid , but not once can I recall this occurring whilst we’ve lived in LA. It’s still 3 weeks from winter (Dec 21 on the solstice ) but if you’ve got a trip to LA on the cards over Christmas , be prepared . Hey don’t panic , winters are still usually pretty mild with days regularly hovering between 18-20 Celsius , just saying the odd cold snap can sneak in and bring us into Melbourne winter . We’d previously booked a quick getaway for a midweek sojourn .Catalina Island . Fortunately Emma brought the date forward by 24 hours . An hour ferry ride through potential large swell and choppy seas , not to mention being on an island in 10 degree weather and heavy rain , yep good call boss (Emma) . It’s a little embarrassing that we’ve been closing in on 3 years living in LA and all within site of Catalina Island but still hadn’t visited . Finally , another iconic LA location has our finger prints on it .You get some ideas in your head as to what places look like . I had a snapshot of what the Catalina harbour looks like on the show ‘Storage Wars ‘ . Yeah I know , I watch that shit from time to time , but this was one I remembered because one of the containers had a fucking submarine in it , no shit . Anyway I remembered a panoramic shot of the harbour from above ,from there I imagined quaint little streets ,open bars and ice cream shops .I wasn’t far off .

The ferry in lived up to expectations .On arriving ,a Carnival cruise ship stood out like a pair of dogs balls .”Fuck ,looks like it’ll be crowded and ‘cruise ship prices ‘ will be paid for our stay .” Catalina is beautiful . I could stare at the harbour for hours ,ok a fair while . What really captured my attention was the colour of the buildings .They were pink ,blue ,orange and array of pastels ,hardly any of the typical beige that dominates LA. It looked laid back , it reminded of the Caribbean. The Atwater Hotel was our digs . I highly recommend it ,nice rooms and a relaxed island vibe with an immaculate foyer restored with all of its old world beauty ,right in the middle of town .Straight off the ferry Emma had us on her researched locations for eating and drinking . We hit this little beauty . The drinks were cheap , the view serene and the food was average . Actually most of the food in Catalina is average .Id call it tourist food , unimaginative and a bit lazy . I can understand when you’ve got a monopoly on the market but this joint reeks old world glamour and deserves a bit more . Still we did have a lovely meal for dinner at Avalon Grille . The pubs ,bars and eateries still provide a pretty inviting vibe and they’re all within a small walking distance from each other .The island is deceptively large but the main tourist area is pretty small . We checked Wrigley botanical gardens …….sort of interesting .Actually the Wrigley bit is interesting . He originally bought the island .This is the same Wrigley from the chewing gum empire .He actually brought the Chicago Cubs here for their off season training base .There’s a few adventure things to do at a cost ( zip lining ,diving ,off-road stuff,chasing bison ) ,but shit I’ve done that stuff before bar the bison bit and I’m here for only 36 hours . We did do a free tour of the Catalina Casino that sounded a bit boring but completely surprised. This joint is old world cool ,really cool . It has the 1st movie theatre in the world that could play movies with sound .The dome shaped ceilings made for amazingly clear acoustics that allowed for ones voice to reverberate around the room without the need for a microphone . The upstairs ballroom was opulent. This joint was filled with Hollywood icons like Errol Flynn,Marilyn Monroe and Humphrey Bogart . It’s a bit weird to sit on the old theatre seats , or to walk on the original parquetry and to think that it very possible that a super star of the old world would’ve been on this very spot . The guy who designed this joint also designed the Mann’s Chinese theatre in Hollywood. It’s an amazing building built for such a location in such a time ,and is still used today . This isn’t the sort of thing that interests me at all . Architecture…not that interesting ,tours …not my thing ,but this building is pretty interesting and the guide was a cool old cat . You gotta check it out if you get there .

A day and a half later we’re outta there . I sort of accidentally but deliberately rope us into the outside backseat on the ferry . The weather starts to close in but I assure Emma and Leroy that we’ll be right . “It won’t be too cold , she’ll be right bro “………It was freezing .

Catalina Island has an old world glamour ……it’d be a great place to visit in summer . Perfect for renting a house or two to share with other families , bringing provisions to stock the place well ,drinking in sunsets like the stars of yesteryear and letting the kids play in the emerald green waters . In the cooler months ….48 hours max .

No , not again . 3rd time in 5 weeks ,with almost nothing in between . It never used to bother me , it was far enough away to not eat me up too much . You got up for work , navigated the traffic and occasionally day dreamed about being somewhere else . I was too busy , and then to drive down there and find some uncrowded coast was an added gamble . You accepted your lot and looked upon the locals with envy .”The fuckers don’t know how good they’ve got it .” I’ve got commitments…”Man the fuck up and own you’re responsibility ” ,I’d say to myself . I’d look at the webcams and the reports at morning tea .hmmm can I smash the meters out and sneak out early and get back for school pickup ? …..No chance champ

It’s at my doorstep , I can gauge it most days . With the forecast of a midweek storm I saw problems , I’d already committed to extra clientele ,you feel obligated , it’s your job and the corporate approach of always growing , doing more , making more . The company needs you to grow ……Ahhhh fuck , can’t I grow in flat spells and then hibernate when it pumps . I know I’m 50 ,I’m not 20 anymore but geezus if I see it I’ve gotta have it …right ? No dickhead ,the honeymoons over ,you’re working now like you always used to . But I’m a local now ( well sort of ) , it’s my turn to be the guy who always seems to be here at the right time ,always working when I want and always not working when the waves are on …..No ,dick head .

The 1st storm of late summer has been predicted , a flash 24 hour shot of potential rain , with it was a small window of much needed surf , but only a short period event . The night before provided a vivid back drop . When I woke the next morning I could hear wind and the crashing sound of surf . I looked out the front door as soon as it was light enough to see and thank good it was howling on shore . The wind rarely blows up on the coast of LA ,and it’s super rare for the mornings to be anything but still . I go to work relieved . ” Don’t worry , you’re not missing out …and grow the fuck up , you’re not some young kid anymore .

On my return home to get Leroy from work I take the coastal route ,actually I always take the coastal route . I’m shocked , the wind has turned off shore in the afternoon , this never happens . “That is fucken bullshit !”, I declare to myself . I start to scheme on ways I can upload Leroy , but reality sets in …. I can’t , we’ve got too much on . Then I really get depressed when I think about tomorrow, it’ll be perfect .

The next morning I wake to the sounds of crashing waves .Emma leaves the house early to grab some stuff for work from a baker (super rare to see bakeries in LA ) up the road . On her return I ask her how the waves are , its a game I play with her often as she usually goes for a walk at dawn every other day with a girl friend . Emma usually rolls here yes when I ask . She wouldn’t know or doesn’t care ,but today ? “The waves are pumping ,there’s guys everywhere getting changed into their wetsuits .Theres a sign on Beau Bridges ( well known photographer ) shopfront saying he will be closed until later as the waves are epic today .” Emma declares …….WTF!

I drive to work , sliding up through Redondo until I hit the coastal stretch that sits up high looking down the coast . I usually get into work with 5 minutes to spare , today I’ll use those 5 minutes up to check the waves out from Redondo beach . The waves here are generally a bit smaller as the swell direction can miss it , but this morning ? The first thing I see when I walk to the edge is a guy exiting a perfect barrel …absolutely no bullshit …it has rarely if ever been this good since I’ve been in LA .

I mope back into the car with a tear in my eye . That’s the third swell event in 5 weeks and you’ve missed it again ,and all of it is within view ……..Get to work .Suck it up princess ….. better luck next time .”

Did I say I was soft ? …….” I’ve been told you are the best caulker in all of LA “. …….I laugh , “I don’t know about that mate .””No seriously you’ve been recommended with the highest of reputation.” …”I really need your help Troy .Can you help me ? ” ” Ahh …..ok . ” “I live just down the 405 Troy , not too far from Hermosa ” ….Shit .

I have to go to a guys joint in Bel Air ,we decide on Sunday . His place is leaking and he wants me to go there and see if I can help him . He got my phone number from a school dad .What do I do ? I guess I at least have to check it out , but then there’s the other me . “Why go ? You haven’t got any tools ,no ladders , no roof racks ,no supplier .And where’s BelAir ? Say no you fucker .” ….”Ahh …ok , I’ll see you there at 11am next Sunday .” ..”WTF did you say yes for ! ”

The weekend approaches , but I know I’ve got work on Saturday and now I’m committed to Bel Air on Sunday . I look at the weather map and it quickly dawns on me that the weather looks awesome and low and fucken behold a new northerly swell is forecast . ” I told you to say no , dickhead .” That means no drinking Friday or Saturday night. Come Sunday morning I’ve got an hour or so to hit the waves . I do , but it’s been a while and the tide isn’t right . I get out there and surf like a fucken useless prick .I leave frustrated and just pissed , I look over my shoulder with a tear in my eye . The waves are just starting to pump, but I’m off to Bel Air .

This is what I love about LA ,no matter what day ,what time ,the freeways will be stopped .A 34 km drive at a projected 34 minutes on a Sunday morning in perfect weather soon becomes a 55 minute drive . The notorious 405 freeway with all of its 8 lanes is at a crawl . Now I absolutely know why I didn’t investigate the caulking route .Who’d want to drive to and from construction sites in LA traffic in midweek traffic ? Not a fucking chance when your getting paid peanuts .

“Ahh gday mate I’m here to see Ury ” The guard to the the gated community looks confused .Of course it quickly computes that he can’t understand me . I repeat everything in slow motion . He then rings Ury , but Ury isn’t answering . “Perfect dickhead , I told you to say no .” Eventually I decide to ring him myself , but guess what ? There’s no phone coverage . I decide to drive back a kilometre for better coverage and ring Ury . At’s at this point I have to tell you that this place is beautiful . There’s nothing LA about Bel Air . I know that sounds wrong , because Bel Air is LA ,but this suburb is super exclusive , wealthy , treed and manicured . I haven’t been to the South but I imagine this could be Georgia in the Deep South , plantation style without the the plantations . The gate house is preceded by two security vehicles with one guy leaning up against his car with full swat style attire ,gun and holster clearly visible . It’s later explained to me that this isn’t Australia, people get violently robbed in wealthy areas and the paranoia of its potential is obvious in Bel Air . I get thru , head back to the gate and cruise in with ‘black Betty ‘ ( 2006 Pathfinder ) , she’s outta place , only range rovers ,Porsches and Mercedes here , all black of course .I suppose she’s black ( my Nissan ) , that’s something .

I ring the bell of the front door , it’s only 4 meters tall . No answer , I repeat….no answer . ” Last chance dick head , get out whilst you can and just ghost Ury , don’t answer his number .”I text him , he comes down and lets me in . It turns out that none of the phone calls or the door bell could be heard because Ury ‘s daughter is playing the piano and nothing could be heard .

Eventually we go through a series of minor problems. Firstly , rain occasionally blows under the door . Like geezus mate , it might happen twice a year ,but a weather strip on the bottom of the door should solve it . The window frames have pulled away from the render .. I’ll fix that . The roofs leaking on the chimney exit . I get up and it appears the chimney is not even flashed , true ….. next thing you know I’m up there hanging by my balls over the edge ,shoving plastic in the gap in case it might rain . We’ve got a 20% chance forecast for Wednesday . If it rains it’d be the 1st time since March .

“Can you do it for me Troy ?” ” All you need to do is hire a 30 foot ladder (10 meter ..WTF!) , ring some window companies and find an appropriate weather strip , buy the materials and I’ll pay you $300 a day . “. Ahh ok .

After spending 3 hours , yes 3 fucking hours , which included sitting out in the pool house for 45 minutes whilst Ury drove his kids to practice and then eating lunch with him on his insistence , which mind you was an excellent calzone and salad I got outta there .But now ? “WTF dickhead , now you’ve dug yourself in deep , you’re not even good at this shit . The caulking yes but the other shit ? ….. hiring ladders , ringing window companies ……mate the joints gotta be worth $10 million …no exaggeration and some how you’re project managing ”

Ahh ok ……shit

Gday dawgs ,just checking in from the city of eternal sunshine . A lots gone down in the last few weeks but once again this isn’t the right forum for complete reveals . We’ve crossed over the 2 year mark and are approaching 3 years in LA. I guess the magic question is when ? When do we decide that we stay or go . It’s a decision we haven’t answered . The next 6 months will be critical on making lasting decisions . Eventually the worth of staying longer will have to be measured on a lot of fronts , it’ll be tough either way .

We’ve established a good group of friends that can be totally relied upon . It took a while to connect ,but socially we feel secure .Its another stage that we’ve completed ,it’s also another key pillar on calling a place home . The kids are also well settled ,with their own posse of buddies to hang with . It takes more than friends though , family will always be an issue, so is the cost of living and the ability to earn , they are major obstacles , not to mention the pay per use health system and the potential for costly and necessary college fees .Now that I’m working the reality of only 2 weeks annual leave is starting to sink in , trips back to Australia have to be shorter and probably less frequent . As I’ve said before the work life balance is slewed differently here .The kids long term ability to achieve and make a life for themselves will be tougher here , education is critical . There’s an entrepreneurial risk taking vibe that is more prevalent in LA , it creates optimism , it’s definitely a lure that keeps you hanging in just a little longer . If you make it you can really make it .

You miss the beauty , the greenery , the space , the escape of Australia , but you also have to come to terms with the things that you’ve found and the things you see daily , I haven’t yet taken them for granted . The sunsets , the ocean life , the incredible weather , Check out this photo from my drivers window on the way to work on Monday night .

It’s an almost everyday event that always captures my attention. I drive to work through the only hill south of LA and everyday I feel like I’m driving through MtMartha or RedHill , only for just a moment It’s really LA ……The walk to the beach daily to check the surf out ….and yes it’s been near flat for 2 months until yesterday, but shit look at it ….. you can get used to it .

The very active , body conscious outdoors lifestyle is hard to beat …The cultural differences will always exist . The other day at work I was educating a couple of personal trainers on swearing and Aussie humour . I showed one guy a Facebook clip on the paddle pop lion selling meth in his ice creams that have done the rounds . ( I’ve shared this with many of you ) …it didn’t translate , I think he thought we were total Neanderthals ,with a crass offensive shtick . I’m learning that I have to be more circumspect , sensitivities are heightened in US life .

As the days get shorter and the end of the year nears , the reality of another Christmas away from Australia will dawn .I’m guessing if we are here for Christmas 2020 we might be here for a long time yet . The future is nigh …… where will it take us ?

The milestone wait is over , thank god . I now no longer have to talk about being nearly 50 .I am 50 . I can honestly say I don’t feel it , in fact I feel as old as I was when I was 40 , and that’s no bullshit . I now live in the US which helps avoid the attention of milestone events . To be the centre of attention can be uncomfortable for some . To be reminded of your age , especially an older age is not always welcomed ,but this time I don’t give a shit . I’m ok with being 50 . Alright, I look in the mirror and sometimes my head looks like a wrinkled up silver prune,but that aside I don’t feel much different . I’m probably as fit as I’ve been for a long time . I still admire the opposite sex like I did when I was younger . The drive’s still there , it ain’t going anywhere …not yet .I surf more than I ever did .I do yoga , go to the gym , run ,exercise , but I’m no ‘new age’ green smoothie drinking spiritual guru who’s been Californicated . I still like a beer or 3 , wine too , a burger .fries ,chocolate you name it I’m not giving it up .I can say I’ve been there done that,well a fair bit of it . I can tell you what it’s really like to live in LA , don’t worry I’ll eventually tell the truth ,there’s a lot been said and a lot that hasn’t been said . I never thought I’d talk to my kids and they’d talk back to me with American accents . We’ve got friends on both sides of the globe now .We know people in the Hollywood business , yeah I’ll brag about that down the track , but in reality it’s a big employer in LA . I’ve broadened my sporting interests . I would’ve looked at you with scorn if you told me that one day I’d love baseball ,or get nervous watching American sport . It used to be just the Saints and they always kept me nervous ,the fear of losing was palpable and almost always the end result . Now my ‘other ‘ teams win , now I’m nervous at finals time . 3 years ago I never thought I’d get to 50 and have added any new skill or qualification to my resume . I have . I thought I was typecast , always to be in construction, now I work in a gym . Don’t worry , I’ll never close the door on my previous life. Once you leave it you really understand that it wasn’t that bad and hey I was pretty bloody good at it too . I hoped of seeing the ocean from my doorstep , I’d always thought it’d be at Mornington ,or close by , but LA ,never in my wildest of dreams . I imagined walking from my door to the beach with a surfboard under my arm ,now I do it . The Hollywood sign , Disneyland , Santa Monica pier ,Tinseltown…all at our doorstep …..true .Sometimes you shake your head and wonder how this could’ve really happened to us .I just turned 50 in my home state of California. Get Fucked this must be a dream .

When I looked at all the congratulatory posts on my timeline I was embarrassed. Shit ..and this for me ? To see the posts coming in a day earlier ( California is 15-17 hours behind depending on daylight savings ) had me smiling. “Fuck don’t these dumb arses know it’s my birthday tomorrow”………but you’re right ,it is my birthday there , it is where I was born and hopefully where I die . Don’t worry about that last bit ,it isn’t meant to be morbid .I was initially cold in my response to all the well wishes . I admit that I was sad I couldn’t have a beer and say thank you , but I’m promising this ……… when we eventually come back we’re gonna celebrate , there won’t need to be a milestone , a birthday or an anniversary. It’ll be because we’re back and I can assure you it’ll be a bloody big night . Thank you to all the well wishes , I really appreciate it .

The heat has finally broken , temporarily at least. It hung around Saturday evening , providing a vivid backdrop to Brad and Julie’s Halloween party . Like the year before and the year before that, parts of the LA hills were alight , turning the sun a burning red . A good night was to follow ,never in doubt when Brad’s in charge .This is one of the fun times of year to be in the States .Another box ticked ,with a Halloween party attended ,and no surprise to see everyone put in a complete effort to look the part . We even had a police visit to remind us of our noise limitations.For a moment a few of us thought the officer was just another party goer .As of writing this on Monday afternoon fires are continually popping up in California and surrounding LA . Wednesday is predicted to be one of the most fire dangerous days in recent times , with strong Santa Ana ( think hot northerlies in Melbourne) winds forecast . Thursday evening could see Halloween put on a show that even Lucifer himself could struggle to orchestrate . The smell of early morning ash has dissipated with the help of a southerly breeze , pushing the smoke back over Malibu . By Thursday LA might just resemble a BBQ , it doesn’t need any extra haze to help it look like the ancient tar pit that it was .

Halloween ,it’s gonna be a show .