There’s always a little bit of guilt when you visit a new city or destination . You know you’re not going to have the time or the will to see everything , especially when you factor in kids . We had 36 hours , but in reality one full day to check Boston out . We were staying at Boston Yacht Haven . I couldn’t recommended it highly enough . A beautiful location on the waterfront.

It’s all about the bricks , red bricks . It’s a signature feature of Boston . This place has substance . It’s real . We were fortunate to be staying right on the edge of the Italian quarter . This part of Boston was pretty much at the centre of Americas will to be independent and where the Boston tea party was founded . I haven’t been to Europe so this is probably the oldest piece of turf that I’ve been on . You can feel the history under your feet .

We only checked out a small portion of Boston . We jumped on a bus tour of the whole city but jumped off only 6 stops in of 16 . We grabbed a train over to Harvard University for a quick look . It was old , grand and stuck in time . It gives it its charm , not to mention that some of the smartest people on the planet come through here . For the time that we had we could probably have skipped this little excursion .

In the end , Boston became all about the food . I wouldn’t have it any other way . Living in LA for 5 years has you yearning for stuff with substance . Food is close to the top of that list . With a short 300 m walk pushing us into the Italian quarter it was all about loading up calories . I’m very biased towards Australian cuisine but I have to drop my bias aside . This place must be pretty bloody close to actually being in Italy . The restaurant choices had me confused . Would I be eating Italian or Italian ? It’s not that I wanted variety it was how do you choose which one of the some 70+ restaurants all packed into a small area . Each restaurant had its appeal with beautiful shopfronts , side alleys , gas heaters outside , white linen inside and nearly everyone bustling with people on a Monday and Tuesday night . I love to eat good food , drink , people watch and soak in the ambience . This place ticks all those boxes .

It’s not just restaurants. It’s delicatessens, Italian groceries, bakeries and bottle shops .

We took the historic redline through much of the old city . It’s a red brick path that takes you through all the historical markers in Boston . We didn’t really use it as a history tour but more as a means of guiding us through the city’s heart and soul , it’s old laneways , cathedrals and of course it’s food market

The Quincy market housed a heap of small cafe / shop front bars and Bain mares that had all of the stuff that makes Boston food famous ; like baked beans ,cream buns ,clam chowder ,Boston pizza and a shitload of other delicacies . I was in shock to find this place so late as I could not squeeze a crumb in my body and to add insult these mini diners were cheap , sold alcohol and had bar style stools . Apparently Bostons best Clam chowder belonged in here .

It’s was a whirlwind tour , but the small time we had in Boston lived up to our expectations . It’s an adult city , a foody traditional salt of the earth place . I’m so glad we saw it

When I heard that our schools would shut for a week so that families could spend the week skiing I laughed to myself and said “ of course they would “ . I was told that a recurring pattern had developed where families would pull their students out of school around the time of Presidents’ Day ( a public holiday on a Monday in the middle of February) and have the week off to hit the slopes . With a high number of absentees occurring consistently at the same time each year the school district relented and created a week off each year for families to go skiing . I raise my hand and admit that I have hung onto my working class prejudices . Skiing was always a sport for the rich , it still is but now the middle classes can also access this heavenly pursuit .

When I was asked to consider going with friends who had offered to take Leroy to Park City to go snow boarding I shut it down quick . I didn’t want to spend a substantial lump of cash that we have had to fight hard to save to just go and play in the slopes with all the other rich kids . Yes I know …..I’m hung up on money and I’m still firmly attached and respect my upbringing where cash and privileges were in short supply . After several days the guilt started to fester . The other two kids would be with their dads whilst Leroy will be up in the slopes alone .Now I know he really wouldn’t be alone as our friends would totally look after him but still I felt the guilt that my child wouldn’t get to look for his dad for praise or help or just that appreciation and wonder that a kid wants his parents to share when they’ve learnt and done something totally new . Instead I was to take Tex surfing to Santa Cruz and Steamer Lane . The weather forecast for cold winter storms had me less than looking forward to driving six hours north to surf in freezing water . I changed my mind . We are going to Salt Lake City to stay and board at Canyons resort in Park City . As much as I want to say I’m low working class , I’m not . I’m middle class and have to own it .

Once Emma sets the wheels in motion with flight bookings , Amazon purchases and planning with the other families I’m stuck in the headlights . Every other thought is about getting to the snow . I’m a nervous traveller , always glass half empty expecting something to go wrong . I’m always the guy pulled aside for extra screening when going through security at the airport . I was the only person who had their luggage set aside for a full check when we landed in Fiji and it was done in full view of all the other passengers . I was the guy who was given a 8 foot 1978 Islantis surf board with no wax to surf at 6-10 foot Wilkes Pass , after booking a 6ft 6 thruster to only find that it was already assigned to another guy . I subsequently broke my leash and had to swim to the channel to find that the guy who had taken us out on his boat had gone fishing ,. Fortunately a guy on a Red Bull jet ski came across and saved me , towing me a mile down the reef to retrieve my board . When I took Tex to Mt Buller in 2013 I left my phone in the car after we were shuttled to our share lodge . I walked back in the night in freezing conditions to get it , Mt Buller staff were not impressed . I was the guy who on their 1st snow boarding adventure to Mt Baw Baw who couldn’t get up the pommer ( a fucking horrible towing device for novice boarders) . Five hours later I finally made it up ,with 1 hour left .Next weekend we would go to MtBuller . I make the fatal error of continuing to use my Target ( cheap arse ) gloves that had little waterproofing . After my hands had gone numb I clicked on my board , half way up the lift it dropped off my foot , careering down the mountain like a deadly weapon , narrowly missing a Mum and her two young daughters . I was subsequently grilled by ski patrol , marched off the mountain and interrogated. Luckily the guy thought I was pathetic and plugged the legrope that I had to my shoelace , knowing that the hiring of the board should’ve set the the legrope up so it reached my boot . There have been plenty of good memories but the list of mishaps above keep my feet well and truly grounded in the cautious and worried column . Without Emma’s meticulous preparation and confident approach to any situation it’s left to me and the boys . Strap yourself in kiddos .

Airport … tick , a beer at 915 am … tick … my bladder …not so . Whilst waiting to taxi out for takeoff I’m starting to feel the need for a pee. I tell myself to wait till after takeoff but for some reason we sit for at least 10 minutes with everyone seated . I look back at the toilets every 30 seconds and think about marching down in front of everyone before we even takeoff to do my stuff . On the 30th look I decide I need to go now or I’ll wet my pants and I really fucking mean it . I walk to the back of the plane just as the engine starts to buzz ( of course it would ! ) . The flight attendant tells me that I have to return to my seat . I tell her I can’t . She folds her arms as if to say no but luckily Kim our neighbour is sitting in the back row . She voices her support for my plight. The flight attendant relents . I get back to my seat whilst the plane is actually moving . I don’t dare look up at the seated patrons who know that I nearly pissed myself at 50 years of age …. . An hour 30 later we land in Salt Lake City .

It’s a big modern airport , super clean , organised and pretty much everything that LAX isn’t . Once outside the frigid air reminds us that we are in snow country . Bill does the driving in the hire car whilst the others arrive by shuttle ( an Escalade ) . It’s not long before the snow starts to flutter down . We bypass Salt Lake City . It’s not a big city , I’d compare it to Adelaide . It’s grey , cold and bleak . Winter has stripped all the colour away . We ascend out of the frozen tundra , winding up into snow covered terrain . The snow is coming down heavy , I’ve never seen it like this before . I think of Leroy as he’d never seen snow until recently let alone to watch it come down in almost white out conditions . Concentration is needed behind the wheel . I’m glad Bill is driving . Finally we are at our lodge …. tomorrow we’ll be up in the slopes . The nerves subside for now but tomorrow morning we’ll all be buzzing . It’s time for a beer ……….to be continued

Washington DC , our first stop in a 3 leg journey to the East Coast of the United States . I must admit my interest was low when this was suggested as a place to visit . I had concerns . The kids : are they gonna hate it ? Myself ….yeahhhh not sure that I was that interested . There’s not a lot of media enticing people to come to Washington . On the other hand there has been a lot of news on Washington and more to the point ; the Trump insurrection rally on the Capitol . . Yeah ok there is a macabre interest in seeing where all the Trump numpties thought they could gate crash the incoming Biden presidency .

After getting in on Friday night we were up and off Saturday morning . It was cold , Winter Melbourne like with blue skies. First impressions were that this place has a hard edge to it , not grimy or mean but architecturally . Sharp edges , square , rectangular, bold . There is a status that is planned in the design and building . It’s not subtle. Everything is big . There is no doubt that this place is to project power . When you finally stand in the centre of Washington, take a deep breath in and scan your surrounds you feel as if you are in the centre of a massive amphitheatre . They call it the Mall , which is such an unfortunate American term to describe this long rectangular and most striking piece of park space . The 2 mile (3.2 km ) long park is bookended at one end with the large bold Capitol building and the other with the grand Lincoln memorial . The middle punctured by the amazing Washington memorial . You feel as if you are standing in the most powerful place on the planet …… gee that’s hard to say as an Aussie . The statues are amazing , the memorial buildings like Roman coliseums with domed roofs , thick columns and arches all in white . , There’s grand water fountains ( all empty for some reason ) long rectangular gardens , monuments , features and structures that leave you in no doubt that America holds its young and recent past in a reverence that we Aussies could barely comprehend . Americans love their history . They are a super proud country and we’ve dropped ourselves in the middle of the American Mecca .

It’s a 20 thousand step a day mission , a roller coaster thats going to push you to the edge . There’s no doubt you’ll go through thoughts of divorcing your family as you endure the kids complaining of boredom , sore feet , being tired or wanting to go back to the hotel so they can get on their devices as per usual but it’s manageable. You might have to do what I do regularly and that’s walk off and dump them for an hour whilst you do your own shit . I did try and find a bar so as I could get a beer , people watch and send a photo to Emma , but alas that’s the one thing that’s hard to find in Washington . There’s plenty to see . I think 48 hours would do it , without the kids you’d throw on another day .

Martin Luther king memorial

We crammed the best we could . The Smithsonian and its natural history exhibit, did it . The futures exhibition , that too .

Throw the White House in too

We did the Spy museum with its interactive approach a winner for the kids . Incidentally this was the only place we had to pay to see . That’s one of the bonuses of coming here ,most of the best places are free .Emma had us visit Georgetown , just up the Potomac river . DC had to have more than memorials , government buildings and federal police . We found it’s cool , young , wealthy and highly educated community . This is more like places we know . Think South Yarra , Hawthorn and Chapel street . Brick and terraced facades , independent stores , bakeries , coffee shops , high end fashion ,hip bars and Italian restaurants. The boys noted that this place reminded them of Melbourne . Me too .

On the last morning Emma and I crept out of our room at 7 am . We left the kids to sleep , jumped on some city rent bicycles and rode for 20 minutes to the Arlington National cemetery .

It’s a huge cemetery . A shocking reminder of how many mostly young men have died in war . We visit JFK s grave site , Ruth Bader Ginsburg too. The tomb of of the unknown soldier is the place that really had the hair stand up on the back of my neck . A beautiful sunlit morning , a soldier marching , turning , adjusting his rifle and repeatedly keeping guard .

This place is worthwhile coming to , just at least as an outsider to get a scale on how proud America really is . Even if you don’t care for all that stuff the park , it’s memorials , museums and cherry blossoms are pretty special . Washington DC is powerful . You need to see it , just for a minute .

I didn’t want to go . I’m writing this now , feeling like shit with a sore arse and a body that needs to sleep 20 hours a day . But thanks to Emma I did go and I don’t regret it . It’s just when you’re 52 , with 2 kids to follow around and admittedly far from a natural on the slopes the body isn’t what it used to be .

Ski week has come around again . I still cringe that we live in a place that has a week off school so as the kids can go on holidays in the ski fields . Remember we live on the ocean 20 miles south of LA and really are no where near the mountains . The privilege ; I’ll always struggle with it . The place we live , the talent , the highly educated and even the beauty of the people . It’s the entitlement . Let’s face it , normal folk and normal places don’t set aside a week in the calendar specifically to go skiing .

I hold firm . I declare I won’t go . My roots , the ingrained working class background and my loathing of the wealthy . I still see myself firmly in the court of the blue collar . Skiing is for rich wankers and I can’t allow myself to be apart of it . Emma insists . Leroy is desperate to go snowboarding again . Tex none too subtly says “You are taking us there !” I concede . I secretly love being on the mountain but still struggle with the stuff that comes with it .

It’s not cheap .Let’s get that out of the way straight up . You could go to Hawaii or Mexico or some other tropical island paradise for the same price . It’s not relaxing either ,but gee when you finally let go and start to slice and carve down the slopes it’s pretty exhilarating. It’s a unique experience you can’t replicate or really translate unless you’ve been their yourself .

It’s a squeeze but we are off on the 5 hour drive north to Mammoth Mountain . Just Leroy ,Tex and myself . Emma has organised everything . She’s happy to be home alone . We take a rental car with all wheel drive and snow tyres . The drive up to Mammoth isn’t dissimilar to driving out in Utah . The roads are long and straight with speed limits that are hardly enforced . Most traffic hovers at 80 (128kms ) miles per hour . Once you pass by LA and slide by Bakersfield the ascent is subtle . The familiar red barren rocks and alien landscape of the West coast interior come to the fore . There’s no trees out here , it’s desert . The Death Valley turn off slides by . The red rocks and slopes become more jagged . Snow appears on the craggy peaks . Signs tell us we are at 3000 feet and then 5000 feet but there’s barely an undulation or turn in the road . It seems too easy . Surely we’ll start to wind up some mountain , with hairpin corners , exposed edges and heavily snow covered woods . No , it’s not like driving in Australia’s alpine region , it’s way easier . We drive into town , turn up a steep road ( Canyon Lodge road ) and as simple as that we are at our lodge in Mammoth .

The weather forecast a storm approaching . It was just a matter of wether we’d be in its direct path . When I woke at 334am I knew we were . It felt like the roof may come off . I would wake at this time each night during our stay . The altitude and the rising heat in our upstairs sleeping area would suffocate you into a panicking gasp for air . Morning came each night after a fitful 5 hours sleep at best . A headache would nag me for the first 2 days . The first morning came a howling whistling wind . When I peaked out the blinds the place was blanketed in snow . I wouldn’t call it inviting , the snow was coming down sideways and from all directions . It was minus 11 Celsius with a wind chill factor closer to minus 15 . We had breakfast in quiet . It’s gonna be freezing out there . We knew what was coming . Several visits to the toilet and then dressing in multiple layers , interrupted by checks and double checks that lift tickets , key cards , goggles , phone and whatever other essentials were all adorned . . It would get trickier with 20 of 25 lifts on the mountain closed to high winds . Tex storms off early to meet up with friends . He’s been here before . He treks a mile down the road in all his snowboard gear , no cash , just bluff and bluster . He would come back that night without taking in a drop of water or a morsel of food and 7 hours on the slopes . He bitched and moaned like we knew he would . Leroy and I aren’t in a hurry . It pays off . We run into a guy staying in our same set of lodgings who shows us a shortcut . It’s less than 400 m to the main lift . Here we go !

It was grey , painfully cold , so much so that at one stage going up the lift I had a ice cream headache . When you hit the slopes you gotta make the most of it . Leroy and I would trek back to our cabin have a hot lunch and return .The first day was worth it . It was a day of coiling up , keeping the chin on the chest and the hands under the armpits . Powder was the reward .

By the 3rd day the writing is on the wall . All 3 of us are pretty sore . We catchup with other friends . They would take us to the summit of Mammoth . Getting down was a battle , actually it was brutal . Poor Leroy was buggered , I was holding on bravely . I kept on pumping his tyres up whilst at the same time I was praying for a helicopter out of here . An hour plus of traversing challenging blues and some blacks we get back to base . My ass is black and blue . A week later I still can’t sit down properly . Still it was the icing on the cake ; we boarded down the highest summit in the Californian ski fields at just over 11000 feet .

Well dawgs , change is still afoot . We are still in the States and there’s another place or thing that we’ve done that I’d never thought I’d do in my lifetime . Yeah it wasn’t easy and I can’t claim that I wanted to do it but I’m glad my wife pushed me to do it . When it comes to adventure I’m pretty good at it when I get out there . We’ve now snowboarded the highest ski fields in California to add to last years trip to Park City ,Utah . Privileged…… yes we are

Well dawgs , we’ve been back at the bunker for 6 weeks now and our destiny is still clear as mud . Home is ……… yeah , I don’t think we really know , but we still see it on a continent surrounded by water in the Southern Hemisphere.

We walked and walked and walked some more . Leroy is desperate , in pain . The terminal runs and goes and still there is no respite . Where the fuck are the toilets ? After exiting our flight from Fiji , via Sydney via Melbourne , without a wink of sleep the terminal exit to the immigration checkin must be close to a kilometre long , and I’m not joking . It makes the the Jetstar terminal at Tullamarine look like a sprint course . Normally a long walk after 18+ hours of flying wouldn’t bother you a bit , but when you’ve got a child who needs a pee without a toilet along the thoroughfare ( who designed this fucking joint !) it becomes another reason to grind that jaw . On entering the partition area at border security the restroom sign to the immediate right signals that the storm has past . Thank Geezus for that , it was about to get salty ,and wet and awfully pathetic for the little guy . We’ve finally navigated the worst .

Border security at LAX is like being inducted into prison . I’m not joking . The staff here are as hospitable as the security guards at Laverton Maximum security . I outta know , I’ve been to both . Fortunately for us we are a family , a white English speaking family who just happen to be residents of “the land of the free “ . Previous experience tells me that we get a good run when it comes to clearing customs . Families and kids get through easier . It’s the way it is … normally . There are exceptions or should I say , warning signs ….young , testosterone filled males who love their new found authority. . He’s our guy . My fatigue has also effected my usually sharp sense of narrative. We are not the normal looking family . There’s a major exception , there’s no mum . Emma is not here . Our guy at customs is cut , smooth shaven , just got out of the gym and he’s fresh as a daisy …. The complete opposite to me . I sense the vibe , but I decide small talk might be a signal that I’m trying to butter him up . I decide to stay quiet . It doesn’t work . “Sir , have you got your i – 797 paperwork ?” …. “ What paperwork ? “ , I reply . “ Sir , your passport and Visa clearly states that all paperwork is required on entering the United Sates .” All of a sudden the tension has risen from 1to 8 and it’s still climbing , The young customs guy repeats the same question several times , but I’m like a deer in the headlights , I’ve got nothing for him . Eventually he sends us to the Interview room . Tex looks at me with complete disdain . I’ve fucked up again .

I admit , I’ve got no idea I needed it , or what a I -797 form actually is . Living in the States requires a personal filing cabinet for all the paperwork required to be kept to just live here . The I-797 form is a form ( I think….. don’t quote this as fact ) that is like a temporary form that covers you while you wait for the more permanent form , for me it’s an L2 that is attached to Emma’s I- 94 form ….Hopefully I got that right . Anyway , there’s always layers to every application that requires paperwork that even covers delayed paperwork stuck in the system. It’s a system ran 70s style in the 2020s …can I say anymore ? …….

We go into the waiting area . It’s a bit like a RTA with the seating in front of small partitioned interview booths . There’s a few young backpackers in before us . Others come in after us ,but we are the only family or group in the room . No phones are allowed so I can’t contact Emma to let her know of our situation . Leroy has a stomach ache and has began to sob . Tex is just plain pissed off . I warn him to stay quiet and not show his frustration . We wait …everyone is processed bar us . Others came in behind us and are interviewed and let free As they leave they must show their passport and are often chastised for not having it ready . It’s not like they haven’t just showed it in their interview , but everyone in authority gets their turn in the customs back room . 70 minutes have passed , Leroy is in duress but we are ignored . Finally I am called up . I get another young mid late 20s guy with shaved head , defined features and a look that says ‘I’m not to be fucked with .’ ….”Sir , where is your I- 797 form ?” “I don’t have it “, I reply . “Sir , why do you not have a I-797 form?” , he asks with a raised voice . “ I didn’t know I needed it “, I reply . Shrugging my shoulders . “ You cannot enter the United Stares without it . It clearly states this on your visa .” “ Why haven’t you got it ?” I’m getting flustered , he repeats the same statement again . I nearly break . I’m guessing he wants that . “ Mate , I’ve got enough things to carry on me already . I’ve got negative Covid tests , vaccine status , passports . How much more do I need to carry ? I’ve never needed these documents in the past .” He shakes his head and curls his lip up . He wants to blast me . He’d be happy if I blew up . I take a deep breath and I tell myself to not get sucked in . “ You will not enter the United States without it . We need it now ! “. Where’s your wife ?” “She’s in Australia “ . “ Can you contact her and get her to find the document and send it to me ?” He doesn’t care that my wife is in another time zone on the other side of the planet , let alone the potential cost of an international call . Holy shit , I’ve just happened to got the the angriest fuck in all of customs . I text Emma multiple times . She gets her company lawyers involved . I plead that I’m legitimate . I show him my California license and my Employment Authorisation card . “Mate ,I wouldn’t be able to have these without the correct paperwork .” I plead . “ I don’t care and I don’t even care about all that other stuff about Covid and vaccinations . I’m not even wearing a mask . I just need that form . “ the officer barks . Eventually a photo of the form comes through . I give him my phone …..there’s a long pause . “ Ok , I have had your details on my screen . I just needed you to produce the document from your side . You must have the paperwork on you when you travel to the United States . “ Holy shit , this guy had the information in front of him all along but just wanted me to scramble . What a fucking prick . “Sir , you have a good day , and I must say I’m proud you ossies rose up against the government down there in Melbooorne . No one should be able to tell the people what they can and can’t do with their body .” I looked at him in disbelief . Mate , do you realise you just bent me over cause you wanted to and you do get paid by your boss …. the government.

Anyway pups , I can’t be bitching too much . Like I say , it’s a privilege to be an Australian who can travel internationally and live in another country . The first thing I did when I got back to our house in LA ? I walked out my front door and went surfing …. that’s privilege.

The long days , warm nights and relaxed ambience can’t hide the anxiety that starts to build . Omicron is taking off , test sites are inundated and we have to navigate a system that isn’t coping , just in order to catch our flight . Our departing flight will connect via Fiji . Although we never leave the airport Air Fiji still requires a PCR test 48 hours before we fly . It sounds doable , but as the date gets closer the infections rise , the test result turnarounds grow and the likelihood of our results coming back on time look dicey . We test at Rosebud 30 hours before our flight (35 hours before we land in Fiji ) knowing that that the chances of our results coming back on time are not likely . Am I desperate? No . The thought of getting stuck in Australia is hardly the end of the world . There’s that sneaky thought that……” Oh well , looks like we are staying for good . May as well get the kids registered for school . “ Then of course you wake up . Shit I’m scheduled to work in 3 days , the kids have to get back to school and all of our worldly possessions are on the other side of the globe . Oh well , it’s back to panicking .

It turns out that being connected to a Facebook group called Aussies in LA has been very helpful . We know there is only one real option and that’s the 90 minute same day testing at the airport . Once again we are gouged but that’s your lot if you travel international at the moment ,you cop it in the back pocket . We get to Tullamarine 4 hours before our flight , allowing time for a test that according to the ‘Aussies in LA Facebook site ‘ should take between 30 and at worst 90:minutes . We find the Histopath pretty easily and I’m pleasantly surprised when we get to the line and see that we are only 5 people back from the entry . A security guard approaches me and asks if I had just joined the queue . I reply , “Yes “ . I am then informed that the queue is broken into 2 parts , the other part was on the back side of the building . To my shock and resignation the 2nd part snakes some 60 people deep in a partitioned area . It turns out that there are people lined up ahead of ourselves with flights up to 9 hours away and even the next day . It’s a fucking mess . Fortunately there is an attempt to prioritise the line . Those that have flights the next day are told to come back tomorrow, with the exception for those with early morning flights . It still didn’t go far enough . There were people behind me that looked almost certainly likely that they’d miss their flight , with just on 3 hours left until they departed for Bangkok . It would take the full 90 minutes for our negative results to return , leaving us just minutes to check in . We had Emma stay at the airport . I think she was more stressed than us . We got on our flight with 10 minutes to spare . To add insult to injury the 2nd connecting flight is a full plane . Not one of us slept a wink , but we made it back …..just . Oh and we got our PCR test results back from Rosebud ,2 days after arriving back in LA ,some 4 days later .

21 days flew by . It was great to be back . Every day back on Australian soil wetted an arid memory ,a sense of belonging that had been dried off in the back garden of your soul . To see family and friends . To have conversations that were always candid . To watch tv and see news bulletins that were worldwide and informative. To see all the great food shows that weren’t about winning or beating some chef , that had you immersed in different cultures . To watch the cricket , to see golf without only hearing about American players . To see tv adds that are not about lawyers and bloody medicines with all the possible side affects . To eat takeaway food that isn’t franchised . Coffee … done that a million times but had to repeat it . The list goes on . A lot of our stuff is simple but it’s just done better .

There are regrets as well . We came for a sick relative , that’s a downer , although the old boy is rebounding at the moment . Covid fucked things up again . There were many friends we didn’t see . That was really disappointing . This time of year is busy at the best of times but it’s especially hard fitting everyone in when there are outbreaks of Covid , a 72 hour quarantine to meet and 3 testing appointments to be kept . There were many people we had to reneg on . The negatives are the same old complaints of the past .Victoria is known as the nanny state with its overly officious predisposition . Watching the speedo constantly whilst driving , having security monitor me stay 6 feet apart whilst I lined up for my Covid test , the QR code requirements that I eventually started to ignore and of course I got breathalysed on just my 5 th day home . Yep welcome back .

Had to throw it in London Bridge at Portsea … rugged and beautiful.

We’ve been back in LA 2 weeks already . The trip and the events leading to our 3 weeks back in Australia have created a shift . After the first week I wasn’t sure I’d be back in Australia permanently for some time yet , but by the time we jumped on our flight back to LA I wasn’t so sure . Five years in LA will come up in April . There’s been serious thought and honest discussion in our household . We are not sure what our next step is but we a certain on one thing . There’s a major shift on our horizon .

Tex was on my back , “ Let’s go dude , we’ll miss our flight, the airport will be crazy .” “ No dude , I’m not leaving until 730 , our flight isn’t until 1050 .” An hour later our Uber arrived . We slipped into the cold night , quietly nervous , maybe even a bit apprehensive . Travelling back to Australia on a mercy dash , before Christmas with another variant looming , let alone a raft of Covid requirements without the most thorough person I know ( my wife ) had me pent up . We cruised to the airport with little traffic , silent , staring into the LA night . Tom Bradley terminal doesn’t seem too bad , sparse in fact , until we round the corner and see a 100+ person line snaking into the international departure check in for Air Fiji . Fuck , how much time have we got ? Tex is giving me the death stare , shaking his head . I’m staying cool . “ It’s ok dude , everyone in this line is in the same boat , it’s just the extra Covid requirements that everyone needs to show .” It doesn’t ease his rancour . The line quickly grows behind me . Holy shit this is a mess . I send Tex up to investigate , it seems like there is one line to two different check inns . There is . Air Fiji and British Airways are along side each other . With no direction from airport staff , the line has become one . A lot of people are fidgeting, shuffling from side to side . It’s tense . The only thing that gives me respite is the Aussie voices and the growing line behind me . Tex is waving at me to come forward . I hate queue jumpers , I stay put . He eventually storms back to me and says there’s only a few people in the Fiji Airways line . We do it . We cut the line and enter the partitioned area . Within minutes there are others following , the area quickly fills up . We are next in line but there is drama at the counter . After waiting another 15 minutes a young woman is turned away . She looks shellshocked . I can only guess that either her vaccination or negative test wasn’t in order . I was a nervous wreck by the time I got to the counter . The dude processing me was a smart arse . I sensed he enjoyed the extra demands . After stumbling through passports , printed Covid tests and phone screens of vaccinations we are finally through the 1st hurdle . Wait till you hear our return flight details ! It’s fair to say that flying international is a privilege , but OMG it ain’t real easy at the moment . It would be 29 hours and 3 flights later before we walk out of Tullamarine airport and finally smell that old Melbourne air .

It’s now Wednesday afternoon . We travel over the Bolte bridge gazing at a city I spent a lot of my working life in . It had changed once more , with more glossy funky shaped buildings squeezed into its skyline . The drive back is odd , I can’t put my finger on it . Deep down in my stomach I feel it …. Is this my hometown still ? The feeling doesn’t alter throughout the 2 hour trip down to the end of the beautiful Mornington Peninsula .

We are extremely fortunate to loan a car from our friend Tim , and an Audi at that . To top this another friend Mark has lent us his holiday home down in Rye . If you were to add airfares to the actual cost of renting a car and place like this for 3 weeks in The Mornington Peninsula you are looking at 25 grand easy.

Anyone who’s been down to the Peninsula in Christmas knows it’s a mad house , but still it doesn’t bother me . I enjoy it , soak it in , in fact . I love the festive feel of people moving in on mass to enjoy their break from a long work year , especially the 2 years Melbournians have had to endure with the toughest restrictions in the world . The locals probably don’t see it the same way , although their businesses will enjoy it . The heat , the summer smell , ti tree , grass , it feels so different to anything you experience back in LA . It’s laid back , outdoor living that you miss . Within 48 hours you are sleeping better , the body drops into a lower cadence . It’s the pressure , the undeniable hi vibe life of LA that begins to drop away . It’s like a natural healing .

Tracking through beach tracks looking for waves was something I took for granted . I was desperate to show Tex all my old haunts . He’s a city boy , pretty much a Yank now , but I got him surfing and he’s become pretty accomplished . I talked a big game , often putting down the LA surf scene compared to the waves down here . It didn’t quite pan out the way I hoped but we still found a few waves and some seriously beautiful coast that you don’t appreciate until you’ve been gone awhile .

Walking the streets , purveying the local shops , drinking the great coffee and scoffing down the everyday fare that you miss so badly starts to bring the old emotions back . We played cricket in the driveway . I had both boys bowling properly , no mean feat considering Leroy could only throw with a bent arm . After 3 weeks I had him converted to cricket after 4 years of baseball . There’s still work to do but the little fella doesn’t take long when it comes to ball sports . I even had him watching test cricket with me much to Emma’s chagrin . At this stage it’s easy to be romantic about coming home , especially when you’re on holidays but I’m still unsure of what will come next in our lives .

It’s the food . I’ve wanted to be fair , balanced and considered . The bias is strong but I’ve been gone long enough to try different things and develop my palate . And I have . The fruit , especially the grapes , pineapple and watermelon have been amazing . The beer too , although I’ve been sucked down the IPA rabbit hole . Mexican ? I used to think it was crap , most of it still is , but I’m coming around . There’s quality Mexican in LA that I doubt you’d find back home ,and that’s how it should be . An American burger , hard to beat too . There’s good restaurants and good food in our hometown area but gee it needs to be put into perspective . I’m back in Aus for a short stay on the Mornington Peninsula ….but it’s the food . It’s just better down here .

It starts with the junk . Why does it have to be so much better ? It ain’t fair . What am I supposed to do when Emma stocks the pantry up with all the old vices ? It would be 4 days before I have my first green vegetable in Australia . Bloody hell I needed it .

Vanilla slices , jam doughnuts , custard tarts , short bread biscuits , Cadbury chocolate , barbecue shapes and fucked if I know what other sweet treat I’ll find but I assure you ….I’ll get it down .

The coffee . We are lucky to be staying in Rye which is just up the road from Sorrento . Now, Sorrento is next level when it comes to coffee and treats . By the time I walked up and down the beautiful main drag of Sorrento I was a quivering wreck . I just didn’t know where to stop . The choice was too much , a sensory overload . I finished off Leroy’s gelato . I had my latte and then drank half of his sweetened weaker version too . Shit , I was getting a stomach ache before I even started lunch

We haven’t even formally dined yet . You don’t need to . When you see butchers , bakeries , chicken joints , souvlaki , fish’n’ chip shops ,fishmongers and a heap of independent coffee shops in most towns you get diversity of choice . It’s not some franchise , pre made , pre preserved fast food . Simple , made on premise cuisine is a staple of Australian life . Oh god I’ve missed it .

Merry Xmas …..no breakfast tomorrow .It’s time to load up again .

Well hound dawgs we are in December and a Northern hemisphere winter . Yes , it’s California and their winters are hardly tough , but the heaters are on in the morning and afternoon . Its this time of year you start to get homesick . The short days with the sun setting at 445pm , the fog , the quiet ( well , sort of quiet ) ,the knowing that big yellow orb is getting bigger and brighter on the other side of the world . The festive feel back in Melbourne is not something that is replicated at any time of year over here . The lead up to Christmas in LA is a lot more subdued. You’ve got the Jewish faith and Hanukkah that comes before Christmas and before that you’ve got Thanksgiving . This will be our 5th Thanksgiving and I can honestly say I’ve gained little attachment to the date . I do respect it as it includes all religious faiths and it is a distinctly American experience . It’s a family event , much like the Australian Christmas. I guess that’s probably why we don’t feel connected to this week . Fortunately this year we headed to our friends place across the road . It was a good day with a good vibe and for the first time I could sense that this time it felt a little different , even without Emma here . The Floreys couldn’t be a better host . Lindsay and Nate made Leroy , Tex and myself totally welcome . Tex , a self confessed sea food hater even shucked a couple of oysters and put them down the hatch , and liked them too . Watching American football , drinking beer and wine , eating steak , oysters , turkey and a heap of casseroles and desserts wasn’t too tough . I even brought over a chocolate ripple cake that was duly devoured . This year it maybe the first time that the Thanksgiving week felt like it means something …..only just . I know , I know ,it’s an American thing and we Aussies don’t do it but I guess if you’re here long enough the American traditions start to have an influence ( Gee , it was tough to admit that )

Now that I’ve got the mushy stuff out of the way it’s back to what I do best , observing stuff . Covid has taken a toll everywhere . For weeks now it’s been the sirens . They’re a constant in LA but lately it seems like there’s a serious uptick . Crime is on the rise , we are told , although in our town you don’t see it , except for those sirens . I know I’m repeating old stories but the news reports of car accidents , hit and runs and red light run accidents is something that never seems to decrease . The roads aren’t nearly as policed as back home . Unfortunately a serious accident has left a young local family destroyed , both parents deceased and another driver dead , it’s still under investigation , with high speeds suspected . It happens a lot , and this was close to home . I left work on Sunday night . I got the green arrow and began to turn left across the 4 lane Sepulveda Highway ( a bit like Nepean hwy in Cheltenham ) . It was 8 pm with still plenty of cars on the road . A few had already stopped on the red light but there was one set of headlights in the far lane coming from a fair way back . I sensed they weren’t stopping and hit the brakes . The car stopped late , ending a full car length over the line . I drifted around the corner , took a long stare at the beat up grey shitbox and a young guy with his head on his chest and his seat right back . I know what you were doing dickhead ….you had every intention of driving straight through a light that had turned red for at least 6 or 7 seconds . When you watch it on TV you barely give it a 2nd thought but occasionally you wonder if you could be that unlucky bastard that gets T boned by some wasted fuck driving through a red light . I got a little taste the other night .

Food :There’s no doubt our kids taste buds have been corrupted , Leroy in particular. It’s yellow tasteless cheese , sweetened bread , fake sweet tasting biscuits , or as there known here , cookies . Text has grown out of it a bit , but he did have a penchant for Raising Cains , which is the fakest trashiest chicken fast food joint that some how is gangbusters . Oh and I forgot , Leroy likes Starbucks . Say no more . Even home made Anzac biscuits made with real golden syrup were rejected . The kids used to gobble them up , now they taste too ‘home made ‘ Regardless of their taste requirements food has risen on price dramatically in the last 12 months . Meat has almost doubled . Bacon is nearly the price of gold and it’s such an inferior product compared to the Australian version .It requires more inventive cooking . There’s no wagyu or grass fed ribeye in this house , although Emma and I do eat salmon once a week now . It was once a dish I disliked but I’ve trained myself to eat it for it’s health benefits and I now enjoy it . It’s one of the few meats that’s held it’s price , for now.

Hair :A haircut for kids and men is definitely more expensive here . After tipping it’s $30-$35 for the kids and $40 for me . It’s not a big deal but what makes me laugh is the styling of middle aged men’s hair . They love the comb back . Yep , straight back for maximum forehead acreage. Almost every time I get my haircut I walk out with my hair wet and drawn directly back . It’s a horrible look . Leroy laughs and calls it the business man look . I look at it as the politician look and a particular conservative side of politician look . Maybe that’s why it disturbs me .

Fortunately we will eat Australian bacon , lamb chops , fish’n ‘chips , tasty chicken , vanilla slices and a heap of other treats soon enough . The kids can get their haircut for cheap . We’ll drive on safer roads . It’ll make me nervous driving on the right side of the road again , and yes I’ll have to watch for speed cameras everywhere once again . I’ll miss my American beer and the price of it too , and you can’t take for granted getting on your bike to hit the surf or the stable weather .This time the festive Australian Christmas / holiday vibe will include us this year . Can’t wait . We’ll see you soon .

Well hound dawgs , it’s been a while . The weather has cooled a bit .We had rain today , proper rain for a couple of hours . It felt like it signalled a change . The slow grinding months preceding have fallen away . It’s time to move on .

7 months prior we picked up a little dog on loan . We were to look after her until a flight to Australia could be found , so as she could be reunited with her owner . Her owner had left LA and subsequently got stranded in her native Melbourne as Covid hit . We were the 3 rd de facto parents of the little girl . She was a terribly timid and anxious dog . Small , fragile and suffering the effects of a previous life in a Korean puppy farm , she was further damaged with the handover of different masters . We took it upon ourselves to rehabilitate her . She’s bigger , has a shiny coat , she’s more robust and shows plenty of personality. She’s vetted , de- flead , exercised , socialised as best we could ( she needs a lot more ) and is very much at home . She is Emma’s shadow and literally stays at her feet at every turn . Emma loves it , she’s never had a pet like Frankie . Frankie worships her . The little girl leaves on November 9 . She’ll go through 3 weeks of gruelling travel and quarantine that’ll see her transit to a local compound for 4 days before flying to Sydney , via Singapore . Staying in Sydney for 7 days and then finally Melbourne . . Emma will cry her eyes out when she leaves in her little crate . Frankie knows somethings up , the crate is a clue . Shes been in one before ; it brought her to the States . She’s been a little quiet since it arrived . We’ll be pretty sad but gee we turned her around . Good luck little girl .

The surf has been a constant . We’ve had waves throughout the summer , it doesn’t normally happen like this . It’s been the transformation of Tex . He’s had his troubles . He’ll have more to come but the bug has bitten . He surfs almost every day . it’s a healthy habit . If you are out in the water enough you eventually find a new love ,and you see things . The Sunday just gone saw the best waves in nearly a year . It was eerily glassy , the water a little colder . Dolphins were everywhere and they were so close to the surfers . They passed by with their dorsal fins close enough to touch . It was amazing . There were so many . The serenity broke when a raised voice wailed …“ Hay , there’s a big shark just here !”…..WTF . A stand up paddle boarder 10 meters beyond Tex and I points at the water . It’s grey , the water dark , surfers spread every 20 meters or so . At 1st I don’t believe him . It’s easy to take fright at a sudden surge of water , a sight of a dorsal fin and then that all too familiar shape of a dolphin . Text yells out “ You sure it’s not a dolphin ? “. The old guy shakes his head .” No , it’s a 10 foot great white . There’s no mistaking it . It’s starting to swim back out . “ Tex panicked , yelled out to fellow surfers that a large shark was just off the back of the waves . It was the 2 nd time a shark was spotted in the surf in our company in the last 18 months . Last time I saw it , along with 2 other guys . It meandered past us 20 meters further out with swimmers a further 50 meters beyond it . They don’t seem to be interested . As much as I dislike a stand up paddle boarder , this guy acts as a sentry . We shift in a little closer to shore for a few minutes but eventually we are back out there . Waves like these don’t happen too often in LA .We would stay out for another 2 hours . The shark did wonder back in a bit further down the line , but thankfully nothing occurred. The dolphins moved on soon after the shark left , I think that’s more coincidence than the old fable about dolphins protecting people . It was a beautiful day and I fortunately didn’t see a shark .

Well dawgs , it’s good to see Australia finally moving forward . We constantly get asked at ‘how crazy Australia is ?’ They hate any perceived government control over here . The view of the “ lucky country “ has changed dramatically . Most people over here think Australia has become a dystopian society . I laugh it off . “ We’ve just gone a bit too far “ , I reply . Although I agree with a lot of the Aussie response , it’s time to move forward . We know what our options are and we can be confident that things look better . On that note we are still pretty much stuck if we want to get back to Australia . Flights starting at $4500 one way will see us stay put for a while yet . Don’t worry , we’ve had the best of it . No lockdowns here , free to travel domestically , dining and sporting events too . We’ve even camped and I hate fucking camping . The wheels are shifting dawgs . Little Frankie is heading to Melbourne , hopefully we’ll get our turn soon enough . Happy Halloween hound dogs