The feet , they’re killing me . Emma’s feet too .Plantar fasciitis has crept back into my left foot . Emma has it as well . It’s the bare feet thing . We are home 22-23 hours a day , half that time I’m in the house with bare feet or just socks . The tootsies are taking the load . I’m calling it corona feet . It actually sucks . There’s not a lot that I can do at the moment ,but exercise is something I can do. Walking …. it’s back in vogue .My step count has risen to 12-13 thousand a day . Every nook and cranny is being explored . New streets , luxury houses , hidden cul-de-sacs , palaces and shacks are all being revealed .Every day I’m keen to find something new ,all the while listening to a new podcast or a new way to live better . Coved 19 is forcing us to look and rethink the way we live or the way we view ourselves . I’m in a Garmin competition that has me in the 75k group , I think I’ll be promoted out of that level soon . The streets are crazy busy with walkers , joggers ,runners and bikers from dawn till dusk . It’s ‘show time ‘ for the fit and the beautiful . I’ve never seen so many guys running with their shirts off and I’m talking guys my age as well .The pricks are ripped of course . It’s fucken sickening . Haven’t they been washing down potato chips with beer and wine like the rest of us ? How do they fucken do it ? As I stated last time ….I’m fatter and fitter than I’ve been for a while. I’m sure this exercise thing is happening everywhere but here in Hermosa Beach and Manhattan Beach you’re talking about one of the most body conscious locales I’ve ever experienced. Whaddya do ? You try and keep up with them . Exercise is keeping us sane . My feet ? They’re hurting . That’s the other thing, there’s no need to dress to impress . It’s workout gear or pjs all day long . I’ve stepped up my fashionista

I look at the day count . 5 days , I have to go . I had plantar fasciitis viciously a few years back . It came back late last year but since then I’ve managed to subdue it enough to resume normal activity , but now that’s getting in the way . It’s also the hamstrings ,they’re fucked too . “Fuck Howie your too old for this shit “ , that little voice in the back of my head rants . I ain’t stopping dude . We live in Hermosa , appearances are critical here .Fat fucks are kicked outta this town . I’m off on my little hill run mission . The string feels a little tender but I go , I’ve given it an extra 2 days . It’s not long before I feel good about myself . I look down at my watch and I’m surprised at my time ; it’s fast and all I’ve gotta do is cruise down the last hill . “ Contain yourself big boy , just ease down the hill , no hammies today .” 3 steps later….. a little cat claw digs into the back of the leg . “ Fuck you stupid c+-#t , slow down !” that little voice in the back of your head demands . I do , it’s all good now , I’m 100 m from my usual finishing spot . I pull back into ease mode and then it twangs …..The self admonishment comes next . You knew you were sore . You knew you were tired and you knew the risk but ya still went . Just cause you were bored and you felt guilty and you had nothing else to do . It’s like the body has sent a message ….”slow down and stay inside “.

It’s true , after 6+ weeks of being locked down there’s been a subtle shift in our household . The novelty of being home and unaccountable allows you to drink more than you would ,and of course the temptation to snack on junk food also slides in .. You know you don’t need to get up early and look presentable .After 5 weeks of gorging and drinking the mirror started to look bad . On top of that the broken sleep , bloating and dried skin says “I’ve had enough , I’m tired of this “. This week I didn’t drink Monday toThursday . I feel better . I think it’s time to shift out of slob mode …..but right now I’m sucking on a beer and chewing on some lays chips ….”Fuck it , I’ll let the body recover first and then I’ll drink on it .”

How ya going all you hush puppies ? Day 35 of lockdown has just drifted by in the current . It’s still a weird feeling to be living through times like these . Here in California it still feels like we are cordoned off from the rest of America , actually it has always felt that way . The news constantly coming in from the East Coast has been frightening . Every other day I’ll wake before the kids are up , silently sift through my newsfeed to find a disturbing story of life and death with a middle aged male that would shake me to the core . “ This could happen to me .”This guy was fit , healthy in his late 40s and was as sick as he had ever been ,or worse . Yet still , until we know someone close to us that has gone down with this it’ll only be something we see on the news . I look at the stats and see how well Australia is doing . Shit for a small country at the bottom of the earth the Aussies no how to buck the trend . Sometimes when you look from afar you take on the persona of ‘big brother ‘ . I live in the US and we are on the fore front .”Just wait you fuckers are next . It’ll get you ……… but shit ..you , we ,us .We’re showing Big Brother how it’s done . The curve has been flattened and already the Aussies are prepared for the 2nd wave . What am I thinking ? I’m not an Expat with worldly experience who’s gonna tell you “I told you so .” It’s the other way around . Just cause I live here things don’t change . Australia ( and New Zealand ) have a system that is efficient , inclusive , affordable and deals with social problems a whole lot better than this joint .. It’s not over by a long shot ….but shit it looks like you guys …. no ,us guys are doing it right again .

4 weeks down there was nothing to write about . The holding pattern around the house continued . We got by with not too much tension . Week 5 and the dynamic shifted . The first spot fires appeared . Yours truly eventually cracked . There’s definitely an intensity that has gradually built . For me this event has slowly brought my feelings of home sickness to the surface . The feeling of being trapped , not working , no surfing and being thousands of kilometres from home has cracked the shell on this egg . At some stage in the not too far distant future I need to come back . With the flight and travel restrictions there’s a realisation there’ll be no holidays home for a while . Thursday just gone marked the 3 year point of our stay …already . It reminded of the things I missed . While I was washing the dishes you know what I really missed the most ? I know this sounds stupid … but a fucking dishwasher ! During the lockdown I wash the dishes anywhere from 3-5 times a day .. it’s doing my head in . I miss just throwing shit in there and walking away . When you’re stuck like this you miss mowing the lawn , looking after your garden …the shit that I never thought I’d look back on . I miss walking down and grabbing some dirty old charcoal chicken and chips or a proper coffee . I don’t miss the drive to the surf or the early mornings before work …ahhh fuck even that wasn’t too bad . Anyway pups all I’m saying is things are flowing along very slowly but there’s and undercurrent that’s dragging us along to an interesting future … I hope to see you there soon .

Wow pups , it’s day 21 of lockdown in LA . The screws keep tightening . Face masks are recommended for outside excursions . Our local supermarket has asked the public to wear them on entry . There’s a train of thought around here that our parks and open spaces maybe next on the black ban list . The net looks to be closing . The news coverage tonight doesn’t bring a lot of optimism . It’s grim when the chief medical officer of the US says it’s gonna be a bad week …” Our Pearl Harbour moment , the baddest and saddest week of many of our lives was quoted . When I looked at this bottle of wine I thought fuck it “Why not , let’s drink to the weeks ahead , it’s gonna be sketchy .” The label depicts the mood , fortunately the contents don’t .

Tomorrow starts Spring Break for us . The kids get a week off from home school …….fucking great , just what you need in lockdown . To add to that we’ve got 4 days of rain forecast . With a full moon on Tuesday , it’s gonna be hunky dory .

I’ve been working out like a demon . Running , yoga , workouts , eating ,drinking ,eating ,drinking and “cheers darl ,top me up .”..drinking . I’m honestly starting to feel like Plugger. (To my American friends plugger is a legendary sportsman who was definitely not thin .) I remember when the Saints would do press conferences and they would always said he was as fit as he’d ever been ,even though he looked like a bus . I actually look at my output on a weekly basis and it’s growing . I’m running faster , my Garmin tells me that my heart rate is dropping , I’m getting fitter . My workouts are daily ,my step count is increasing but so is my gut . On a positive my nuts are as free as they’ve been since I was a baby . 21 days jock free . Thank good for workout shorts with the built in hammock . No need to dress to impress in a lockdown , put the underwear in storage .

Of course in these times the kitchen gets a good workout . On scrolling through Facebook for the 16th time before lunchtime I came across fellow Aussie expat Jodies pictures of home made sausage rolls . “You beaudy , that’s what I’m gonna do darl .” And geezus , the supermarket wait was worth it , as ole uncle Troy delivered some fine sausage rolls to the fitness regime .

For now pups … We’re all healthy to date . Me ,I’m faster ,stronger , fitter and fatter than I’ve been for a long while . Cheers to good health

Well all you dolphins and orange roughies ( great eating fish ) it’s a beautiful Sunday afternoon in Hermosa Beach . We are now at day 14 of our lockdown . There’s still a sense of detachment . It’s like I’m watching a movie about everyone else . We’re excluded , but we’re not .

The surf has been poor . There’s been barely a season since Christmas . Of course there’s been an odd day , but you can’t always be there when you want . It’s been slim pickings . That’s ok , there’s more to worry about . We’ve been locked down , most of us aren’t working or at least are working from home . When there has been a hint of swell we’ve all been out there . There’s nothing else to do . Its an activity almost exclusively practiced with 6 feet of separation between individuals, usually more than that . It really is a solo activity , even if your with friends , you’re really doing this alone . Out in the water there’s been a noticeable presence above . Helicopters are buzzing overhead constantly, more so than normal . This stretch always has a lot of air traffic ,especially considering we are just south of LAX . There’s definitely a feeling of being watched . We are . A couple of times the choppers get close enough to the water that you can see faces and tv cameras . Yep the swells not rising , but the pressure is .

Here in Disneyland ,ahh I mean the South Bay we’re treating this like a holiday or a reboot in exercise and indulgence . Maybe that’s the truth , until we get a shock or a kick up the arse from authorities we’re gonna get out there and enjoy the sunshine . I’m guilty of that . Nearly daily I would take Leroy for a skate down the Strand , in the process getting a walk and my chance to people watch and move . You’re aware of the limitations , you keep your distance and the 6 feet policy , but every time you stop to say hello to someone you meet you’re a chance to inadvertently come into contact with a surface you lean on , a fence you touch or a dog you stroke . You are not really isolating . So the Strand has been busy , too busy . There’s people on the beach too . It’s not a good look . The helicopters…….they’re shooting footage . Sure enough it’s on the nightly news . You know where this is going ….I did the minute this came out ….things are gonna close up .

Thursday and Friday come by with a little bit of swell but with onshore winds . There’s something there but it’s shit . What’s noticeable is the guys that are out there . The older guys , some of them that you’d never see out there in this slop are in the water . Everyone’s getting what they can in fear that’ll be taken away from them . I speak to a fellow dad out there who happens to be a life guard . I ask him how they’re gonna stop surfers from going out in the water , especially if it gets good . He tells me that police will patrol the sand and then wait for a surfer to come back to shore . On Friday morning a Facebook feed confirms it . Hermosa Beach will close it’s beach . Later that afternoon LA county announces that the whole LA coastline is off limits .

For now the wetsuits are put away, the boards are about to go in the garage . Basketball courts are shut , playgrounds too .

Looks like it’s back to eating , drinking ,running , drinking and eating and drinking and …..ahhh …..Stay safe people ,see you soon

Gday all you sheep dogs and Rottweilers . Well this ole sheepdawgs been a circling the herd for nearly 3 weeks now .Still I haven’t separated the little white one from the flock , but my time will come .16 supermarkets in 4 days , but no Golden Fleece . It’s time to drop down low ,sniff the breeze and rely on the gut .

On a serious note , I’m wordering when we look back in time at these extraordinary circumstances wether the panic buying was a major contributor to the spread of Covid19 . To be going to multiple supermarkets on numerous days is just stupid , but guess who’s guilty of that ? To think that toilet paper is a major contributor to people rushing into close quarters with dozens of others in a time where self isolation is critical is just embarrassing. The thing is ,we’ve got pride ,we need to feel good and most of us need to feel clean . That one inch square piece of flesh needs to be shinier than a newly minted coin . Hallelujah to that . Get me that toilet paper .

I sat there with my coffee ,zoned out watching the avalanche of bad news on the tv . Then came a story that captured my attention . Just after 730am a reporter for Chanel 4 ( I think ) was standing outside of a Target store in Burbank presenting another story on potential panic buying . Two Afro-American girls came out of the front doors with a trolley full of toilet paper and wipes . “ Fuck would you look at that ?” , I murmur to myself . What got me more interested was how quiet it was in the car park . Hmmm , Tuesday Burbank . Maybe , just maybe the stores are filled in a staggered pattern . “Thursday , maybe Thursday “,I think to myself .

I venture down to the kitchen ,put the kettle on , stretch out and yawn . “Shit , what day is it ? “ , I think to myself . Ahh ,doesn’t matter . Half through my coffee , it dawns on me…..it’s Thursday . This ole sheep dawg has caught a twitch . A flea or some fucker is biting me on the arse . I stick my head outta the kennel and catch a waft . Hmmm , fuck it . “ Hay darl , I’m gonna shoot down to Target in Manhattan Beach at 8am when it opens . Do we need anything ?” “ I think it’s already open Howie “ , she replies . I feel sick in the gut . I feel today’s the day and I’ve missed the early entry . I’ve blown it .

I drive into the car park and am shocked at how many cars are there already . “Fuck , you’ve blown it dickhead “ , I say to myself . My other self laughs and says ..”Mate ,don’t be a fool there’s no dunny roll here anyhow ?” I get outta the car and freeze in my tracks . What’s that I see in that guys trolley ? I’m a like bull that’s stepped through a broken fence and spotted a herd of cows at the bottom of the paddock . In an instant I’m marching ,rigid ,excited , fearful . Once I get in there this sheepdawg is pacing like a Rottweiler . Where the fuck is this stuff ? Ahhh , sweet Jesus . I’ve finally rounded you up . “Come with me you little fucker “. I’m clutching that bag with an iron grip . By the time I’m home I’m as proud as punch . “ This ole dawg is gawn ‘a’ hunten and look what I jus caught ? “

For now , it’s time to celebrate …..just hope it doesn’t bite me on the arse in a couple of weeks

Gday all you pups , just checking in from our prison cell ,ahhh I mean our joint in Hermosa Beach ,LA. 7 days have been ticked off on our lockdown over here . So far , so good .We are still healthy and are untouched with COVID 19 ,for now . I do admit to feeling slightly agitated . My saints last night did what they always do , losing the unlosable . The surfs been flat . Keeping boredom and frustration at bay isn’t gonna be easy . Alcohol will help but honestly we’ve gotta monitor that too . We don’t need any habits to develop…….fuck that’s gonna be real hard to avoid . Anyway it’s weird here .

Surreal , you’ll hear that word a lot over the next few months , but really I can’t think of a more apt description of our current time . By this time next week I’m sure most of you in Australia will know what I’m talking about , by then I’d imagine you’ll be in lockdown as well . Unfortunately you guys in Australia have been the trend setters in panic buying . At 1st I dismissed the chances that we’d follow suit but gee was I naive . I now look at the Australian news closely as a hint to what shopping items would be next to be hoarded ,and you haven’t let me down . 1st it was toilet roll and sanitary stuff , canned food , meat , butter , flour and now I’m hearing milk . So far we have followed suit on all those products . So I’m guessing milk will be the next to get smashed . Fuck , you beaudy . I knew us Aussies could be trendsetters at something . It’s been nearly 3 weeks since we bought toilet paper . By this time next week if we haven’t hit Lassiters reef and found the white gold wrapping ,we’re gonna be real dirty . Fear not , as a caulker I know my way around newspaper . Later this week I’ll be live streaming a tutorial on cutting the newsprint into nice manageable squares …and note this ; you’ll be using your butter knife . Don’t worry ,I’m even ready to show you how to use these little babies .

The days have been actually beautiful . The sky is clear ,the horizon is as sharp as I’ve ever seen it . It feels as if Malibu to the north and Catalina Island to the south have been closer than they ever have . I hadn’t put my finger on it until Emma picked it up . There’s no cars on the road , there’s no smog or haze . The ocean has never looked as blue , the clouds are as defined as I’ve ever seen .Theres a serenity in the vista . LAs beaches are on show . I’m not sure how long before they’ll next to be out of bounds . That’d kill me as the surf has been flat for a week or more , just in time for our lockdown .Ive been painfully on edge . To not be able to escape to the ocean would be suffocating .In all honesty I have for the 1st time felt a sense of trepidation at what lies ahead . At the start of our lockdown just 7 days ago we had hundreds infected, this morning it was 26000 ! That’s a startling increase . Unfortunately we (US) are at least setting the trend at what might be coming to Australia.

Yesterday the vibe was almost carnival like . The Strand was buzzing , alleyways had people gathering in the sun drinking beer , barbecueing meat , listening to music . I was guilty , too . I knocked a few down ,but a nagging itch has been burning into the base of my scull . “ Geez , I hope this isn’t like the Poseidon when we’re all at the bar whilst the ship starts taking on water . Maybe we should have the lifeboats ready . “

Tomorrow is day 1. The world is meant to turn on a different axis . I’m sure you’ll notice when you get up in the morning , scratching your head , not rushing to get moving ,to beat the traffic and maybe grasping for ibuprofen after your 2nd coffee . Yeah , it’s counterintuitive but there’s an undeniable buzz running through the community we live in .We’re in the bubble , the South Bay , nothing should bother us . Let’s party now and worry tomorrow . There’s an excitement , maybe it’s naive, maybe it’s fucken stupid but there’s a sense that we’re all in this together . It can’t happen to us . We’re healthy, young ,affluent and fuck it ; if I can’t buy toilet paper I sure as can buy other stuff that’s just as important

I looked out the front door hoping to be surprised , but the waves were too small ,just like the forecast said it would be . Today it’s different ,I’m not disappointed . It’s like when you’ve got a big party to go to on a Friday night , knowing that you’ll be on a plane to the Bahamas or Hawaii or Vanuatu or some where far away on Monday morning. It’s a bonus and I’ve got nothing to lose and no commitments to keep ….bring it on . Yeah I know it all sounds wrong , but there’s a surreal optimism bubbling away . Maybe in a months time I’ll read what I’ve just written and shake my head and say “ you fucken idiot . What were you thinking ?”

I’m itching to burn off the energy . I go for a run for the 2nd time in 4 months . I approach my usual starting position at the top of 35th street on the Strand

Holy shit , every man, woman ,child and 2 dogs is out this morning . It’s social isolating on a human highway setting . No seriously , it’s humming down here on a beautiful Sunday .

Today it was surreal . Tomorrow and the next 5 days are forecast to be wet , an unusual occurrence in LA . It should keep families indoors and lessen social interaction , but cabin fever is gonna build . To add to that we just had a major announcement that all gyms ( my job ) , bars , night clubs ,cinemas and eat in restaurants will now be closed until March 31 . Today we said WTF and laughed it off with a beer or 3 whilst out an about .This time next week ……?

Let’s go to the supermarket . I need to grab some mineral water and tea bags , besides it’s wet and miserable outside . It’ll give us something to do ………famous last words .

I head to the underground car park . It’s the easy get in, get out spot that I often use . Whoa ,it’s packed down here , must be the rain ……..I think ? My brains starting to kick in , by the time I get to the top of the stairs I realise what’s up . Panic mode has migrated across the Pacific and now it’s our turn . The car park is gridlocked , with cars lined up off the street to get in . Shit , should we turn around and go back ? Nah , I’ve gotta see this for myself .

I’ve been sitting at home scrolling social media for the last 3 weeks , actually make that 3 years , but anyway you fuckers down there in Australia have been dam embarrassing. Fancy fucking going on a toilet paper stampede , you fucking idiots . Now the trend has spread and we’re all fucked . Just like planking , yeah remember that trend ? At least that was useful . There was some great X rated planking manoeuvres that could be put into practise , but this dunny roll rampage ? Nah ,you’ve fucked it up for the world this time . I was actually cringing watching all the Facebook toilet paper shit that was being posted . I was worried that I’d be questioned about it here , but of course why would I be ? The yanks aren’t watching our social media . Thursday the 12th of March , the day we hit panic mode in the States .The day the toilet paper situation shit itself good and proper . The following day …..Friday the 13th , it lived up to its reputation .Total chaos . The day all those dooms day preppers celebrated big time . “Let’s get the bunker locked down siss , I’ll bring the ukulele.”

If there’s ones small positive ,it’s that special talent us caulkers have in common ….we’re handy with a newspaper . We can cut those fuckers into nice little squares that can fit into the palm of your hand just nicely . Yeah ,I know what your gonna say …the newsprint stays on your skin ,but who cares ? Who’s gonna see your arsehole ? Here at the Howard household I’ve finally found a reason to start buying the newspaper again ( sorry Ben ) . Looks like it’s gonna get tropical real quick . A few tips …No vindaloo , beans , mung beans or any spicy shit ,and be careful with the ice coffees ….fucking lethal . 17 rolls , that’s what we’ve got . I’m guessing a weeks worth now that the world has stopped and we’re all stuck at home .

Oh yeah , I forgot . The supermarket . I have pride . I’m not rushing around like a dipshit just cause there’s a deadly pandemic threatening the planet . We’re here to get mineral water and tea and Ahh …shit ,I better check the otherrr…aisles . God dam it , now I’m twitching .Every fucker and I mean a lot of fuckers have trolleys stacked with toilet paper , hand towels , cleaners , sanitizing products and meat .Yes meat . I power walk to the toilet paper aisle but the very last 24 block of plain label sandpaper grade is snapped up within 3 feet of diving distance . Nah , I was just looking ….never would’ve grabbed it anyway .Emma says it’s too rough . ………I blame my brethren on this . You dipshits down under started this trend . Anyway let’s get to the beer aisle and load up .

Well here we are . 4 weeks of total lock down at a minimum . A holiday cancelled . Emmas mum within 2 weeks of flying over to California for the 1st time having to shelve her plans . Yeah I’m being selfish . I know it’s for the right reason but it’s disappointing . We’re all in the same boat . Jut like 9/11 this is a time that is surreal and something we’ll remember . Bunker down kiddies …it’s gonna be interesting …. Ration 2 squares per wipe and a maximum of 3 wipes .

Well , y’all I’m sitting here on my 4 th beer . I’ve just watched part of the Taylor Swift documentary and I’m now lucky enough to be watching a cheer leading documentary. Yep , entrenched. And the documentary is about a town in Texas . Couldn’t be more American . It’s a Saturday night , Tex is at Big Bear snow boarding , Leroy played baseball , it’s the last Saturday before daylight savings kicks in, that happens tomorrow. We are in the middle of the Democratic election process ,and yep it’s roped me in , sadly I admit it . I’ve been trying to stay off it , but politics is American culture . Ya know it’s just had me thinking ….. this place …………it’s a million miles from Melbourne .

It gets me to thinking about our trip and how I could compare those places to where we are in LA and to back home in Melbourne .. It’s real down there in New Orleans . Just a few kilometres out of the city centre and you’re in with the locals . There’s no Albert Park , South Yarra , Toorak , or a Mont Albert , Kensington ,Brighton or Sandringham. The ghetto is close and the ghetto is a lot realer and a lot bigger than anything we’ve ever known in Melbourne . Privileged, that’s what you feel ,embarrassed . The Uber driver who takes us out to ‘Parasite ‘( skate park )thinks she has rich Australians in her car . I’m uncomfortable with that perception, but in her shoes she’s entitled to think that . The locals out there look sideways , just briefly . Maybe it was my paranoia , maybe and probably they didn’t give a fuck who we were . They’ve got no idea who we are . No explaining about coming from lower class would talk your way out of a mugging out here . Fortunately it’s 11am and it’s quiet under the overpass ,only a couple of skaters and an Aussie family .Yep ,it’s a trip out . You don’t ever forget where you came from . There’s pride , there’s that chip on the shoulder ,but shit Howie ..have a look at this joint .Tanti Park is like a resort in comparison . Mate ,these kids would climb over broken glass to live in Noble Park , Broad Meadows , Doveton or a Pines . Don’t worry , this is the greatest country in the world , where else would you want to live ?

Texas , the most like Australia that I’ve seen so far . We pass by and never really enter suburbia like we briefly do in New Orleans . It’s flat , spread out and not something that appeals that much , but there’s middle class wealth , it’s growing and the cities (San Antonio and Austin ) we visited were pretty hip .There’s working Mum and dads in Toyotas , Fords and GMH driving back to there replica two story houses with pools in back yards . There’s garden supply stores , Home Depots, trade supplies ,pool shops ,retail and furniture shops , all there to help fit out your 25 square home with back and front yard . You actually need to mow your lawns out here ,and hey you can do it yourself .

For now kiddies , it looks like we’ll all have to bunker down for awhile and hopefully ride this health crisis out . Travel is gonna be on the downlow . Our upcoming trip to the East Coast looks very fragile , we might be up for a big loss , pandemic isn’t covered in most travel insurance . Shit ,might no be getting back to Aus for awhile . Stay healthy , you live in a good place with great health cover ………. for us , we don’t need any more health bills . Anyway , it ain’t too bad , I just had a 3 hour surf ….practically on my front door step .

It’s cold enough to freeze the nuts off a penguin . When Emma said “you’re only taking one pair of pants ?” . I replied “ We’re in Louisiana and Texas Darling “ . Six days in and the temperature hasn’t broken 17 degrees celsius , fortunately I’m rapidly developing a layer of blubber .Today in Austin it’s hovering around 6 and not once , not even for a tiny fucking minute has the sun broken through ., and that’s in this entire trip . Never mind , I’m not driving Black Betty , we are in a nifty little Toyota that purrs along in the wet . Driving in the rain is something I haven’t done in a while , hmmm with the decent roads out here you’d swear you were driving in the Melbourne winter months , except on the wrong side of the road .

We leave San Antonio for Austin . What’s noticeable is the building and construction . It’s booming , Everything is built big . Big warehouses , big supermarkets , big freeways ,big trucks tops , big vehicles and shitloads of big rigs on the roads . Also the sprawl between San Antonio and Austin is near complete . The 80 (130 km ) mile stretch between each city is almost one giant suburb . Think Melbourne and Geelong touching each other .There’s shitloads of work in the trades .

Finally we hit Austin . It’s a real city , quite a few high rises and plenty of cranes in the CBD . We are staying right in the guts . Whilst we wait for our room we head off for a quick explore . Now me ,I know what I like and I like hipster and this joint is giving me that hipster feel straight off the bat . With bars named after bats , roosters , churches and all sorts of off the wall shops I know I’m in my territory . There’s nothing that depresses me more than a shopping centre full of franchise restaurants , cafes and food courts and LA is absolutely full of them , actually so is Texas . I’m in desperate need for some grime , and some gentrified renaissance and we know this is the hipster game.

I get a little sooky on our trips because all I really want to do is eat funky inexpensive food , drink craft beer and people watch. I also have little patience ,I need to be out moving within 10 minutes of arriving or I start to go stir crazy . In reality I lose my right to chose what I want to do when Emma does all the planning and booking of our holidays . Then throw the kids on top and shit I’ve totally got to compromise . It hurts .

Immediately it’s noticeable that there is plenty of homeless in Austin . Beggars are on nearly every corner ,some laying on the freezing concrete ,even one overdosing in the gutter and remember it’s bleakly cold . We look back at the guy fitting in the gutter ,hesitate but keep walking . It felt like a setup ,but that’s what I tell myself as an excuse to avoid having to help , yeah I know , it’s a heartless response . When I walk back 10 minutes later the ambulance is picking the poor soul up . Not even a new city like Austin is immune to this very American problem .

It’s been only 5 hours since we’ve got here and we’ve already been to the Museum of the weird ,where we watched a small comedy / info / magic act and saw a heap of old horror props . We’ve noticed they love that shit down here in the mid south west . Yeah it’s still pretty lame , reckon . Eventually I get my way and drain a couple of beers , knockdown the best burger I’ve ever had ( the bison burger ) in a place called Eureka . Of course Emma found the joint , she’s a master of finding places ., but there it is …the best burger eaten so far …Eureka restaurant in Austin Texas .

It continues on today . Emma and I deliberately skip breakfast ,we got some serious eaten to do . It’s time to do real Texas . Lambert’s ,an Austin institution in BBQ . Brisket , short rib , pork sausage ,throw in Mac ‘n ‘cheese ,potato salad and collard greens and ya rolling outta this joint like a penguin . It takes a couple of hours before the waddling stops and the lungs finally start to work . A long walk through Austin reveals that this city is absolutely booming , with construction and high rises going up everywhere , it’s not surprising to see that this is the fastest growing city in the US. It’s Friday afternoon here , our hotel just sits off 6 th street and it is pumping with live bands .Austin is revered for its music scene . Emma and I sneak off for an hour or so and hit a bar that is in a hostel .Its in this quiet old building a bookshelf acts as a hidden door , behind it lays an underground den , with a cool bar , black decor and cosy seating .Emma’s a genius at finding venues like these , I’m too embarrassed to take a photo but you get the picture , it’s inner city cool and I love that shit . The world can feel small at times .On the way back from the bar we pass a long queue of patrons lining up to get into a club . Low and behold it’s the girl from the Mornington Peninsula Tones and I headlining . The joint is sold out and good on her , she’s number 1 in the US at the moment with Dance Monkey …..anyway that’s enough cheerleading ….What I wanna say is Austin is a very happening ,progressive city and is nothing like the image I’d have thought you’d find in Texas .

Anyway folks ,the sun has finally appeared at the end of this trip ,it’s off to bed and back to California tomorrow, I will need a corset for a couple of weeks but hopefully not too many people will be shocked when they see me at work next week .