December11 you promised

“Leroy you coming surfing with us “….”No! Dad . ” “Geezuz Leroy the waves are good and Tex and I wanna go down to Elporto . “….”No! I want to go to the park instead .” “But I take you to the park nearly everyday …what will it take ?” “Movies , no … Lego”. “It’s a deal , lets shake on it” As Emma is in Dubai there is no one to look after Leroy if we want to go surfing , Leroy knows that bribery will keep him happy . And so it was , Leroy played bow and arrows on the beach while I took Tex out to Elporto to get smashed( previously blogged), win win . Back at home basking in the glory of my achieved goal Leroy reminds me that he needs that Lego kitt ,now!! Target has it . Here we go , the Sunday afternoon run to the busiest joint going . You see Target has everything , a supermarket , chemist , Starbucks , Sandwitch and all the other stuff it has . The joint is a mad house . The heartbeat rises when I head to this joint. As soon as you’re there it’s on . Parking , it’s dog eat dog . Even getting in the store is a 3 stop ordeal waiting for reversing cars and stepping around cars that are hovering to find a car park . It’s often like this in LA , the crowds are rarely off . Once inside it’s apparent it’s flat out . Every register ( at least20) has queues. After 20 minutes of talking Leroy into the cheap option I grab myself a nice little 1Pint bottle of beer to you know …. taste test and report back on its qualities while I watch the NFL and bask in the glory of getting Texy pounded while I … fortunately grabbed some nice waves myself. Fuck it i’l use the self serve aisle( rarely seen here) . I get to the front to find I’ve jumped on the cash only register . Back I go to the back (3 people) of the queue for the card option . I finally get to the register and scan everything when the beer won’t scan . “Sir , is that alcohol “. “Yes mate “. “Sir , I’m sorry but you’l have to pay through the manned register to pay for alcohol” . Okkkkkk , hearts racing now . I’m not walking outta here without that fucking beer . I queue up 3 people deep , all the while Leroy is telling me to just put the beer down and go back through self serve . ” Nup , I’m getn this beer !” “Ohhhhh , dad , it’s only a beer ” “I need quiet Leroy , or no Leggo !”I get to the front when the young guy asks if that bottle is beer ? “Yes mate” “Sir I can’t serve you, I need to get my manager ” I’m breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth and thinking yoga love .The big dog ( she was a big old boiler ) arrives and punches” in a code . ” Do you have some identification sir ” I laugh … “Are you serious “. ” Yes Sir I need proof of identification “. I show her my social security card with photo . ” I’l need you to take it out of you’re wallet sir”. ” Shit, ok ” ” What’s you’re birthdate sir” . By this stage I’m flabbergasted , shaking my head and laughing . The thing is , everyone in line doesn’t even blink , it’s normal , “Geez , why stock alcohol if you don’t want to sell it ?” , I ask . ” Sorry sir I don’t understand “. .. “Its ok , cool , shel be grouse “. “Sir ?” Leroys only 7 but he’s pushing me out , he knows dad isn’t playing by the new rules . I’m finally outta there when nearly home we are detoured as there is a charity walk on . My beers getting warm , fuck this I head into the back streets when I’m met by a police car blocking off the road . “Sorry sir you’l have to head back and go to the highway ( the long way ) as there has been a nasty accident . ” “Dad I told you not to get beer “.By the time we are home it’s nearly been an hour and a half and the game is nearly over . But guess what …,. that beer never tasted any better . I just wished I bought another 2 .