Sitting in the cinema right now . Despicable Me 3. Thought I’d get the kids off their arses  and bringm to the pictures so we can sit on our arses.See ,I’ve been encouraged to find the kids  something that they’d like to do .After 2 days and a combined 48 hours on the pad they decided they wanted to get out and get moving by coming to the pictures. With perfect weather ,great beaches , parks , bike paths ect what else would you do?Sit on your arses ,eat popcorn , chocolate ,lollies and drink a gallon of post mix. My favourite . Why go surfing when you can go surf the mall . Afterwards we can get home and get back on the pads , yeerha!! 

We get bashed with advertising in the free world.Complete deregulation of the system has opened us up to a relentless invasion of our downtime. Australia is following fast but after living here for 3 months I can tell you it’s going to get worse . For Australia loves to do what the yanks do .Surfing the net is totally corrupted with predatory advertising and pop ups that fill nearly all your screen space .Of course the cross in the corner of the add is hard to see and before you know it your on some site that wants your email address.I know your going to say that’s the same here Howie cause the nets worldwide ,but here your often looking through American sites . And I’m telling you they’ve gone too far as the size of the pop ups and there frequency makes navigating an onerous task .Even getting some basic stats or general knowledge is an exercise in patience. Your likely to cop 10 adds and will start again numerous times to just find out where to wash your car.Tv , as I’ve said before the adds nearly get 50 50 airtime with the show your watching . That’s why you’ve got 100 basic channels ,as you’re going to need them to avoid the relentless barrage of advertising . I understand they pay with their right to show us their wares but how much is too much ? Then there’s the type of adds . Lawyers encouraging you to sue and medical companies urging you to use there chemo product or hep c drug . Not kidding ,all day every day different companys selling drugs we’ve got little choice with in Australia. Then you’ve got counter adds with lawyers encouraging you to sue medical companys . It’s a free for all . Too free for my liking .

Yesterday;Tex 14 hours on the iPad ,Leroy 12 and a half. The new normal. Isolation accentuates the need to have ‘you’re ‘technology. Even myself . Didn’t touch it , resented it , thought those who when went to it ……,nobs.Ive had perfect 20 20 vision until last week . It was always a matter of time before reading might get tricky but my incessant need to look at shit and post it has expediated a decline . I can’t read things too close now . Ive got to move back 6 inches to see clearly now.If I look down now that only leaves me with 3 inches.Im in mourning as I’ve lost another subtle reminder of my youth. It’s a worry, the easy access to porn and all those adds about getting ‘help’ in a pill. Shit ,glasses soon , horny goat weed next …..,then Viagra . Of course i’l have to buy a defibrillator to put on Ems side of the bed as incidence of heart attack rises with Viagra. If there’s one thing I can say ; I’m in the right part of the world to experiment with staying young. That aside the kids addiction with their pads is at an all time high . The fight needed everyday to get them off it becomes tiring . My biggest gripe is the youtubing of other people doing things. Why go surfing or skating or even skylarking when you can become an expert watching someone else do it . Being the voyuer is at an epidemic low in our kids lives right now. Surely I can drag the kids 400m to the beach so I can do a bit more of my own type of real life voyeurism . Might be able to use the environment to stave off that pill for a little longer. 

Independence Day . I get the feel that California is your more relaxed state when it comes to patriotism. A liberal , forward thinking left of centre part of the world but still more vocal in showing its love for the flag than anywhere in Australia . Ok maybe the Goldcoast would give it a run .Here in HermosaBeach there was a lot of parties and BBQs on balconies and rooftops and of course the beachfront strand was on show .​

​Now this woman below would of been in her mid twenties in this tiny bikini . She went to the pub like this where there were dozens of women and girls in bikinis and less going to the bars to party. No wonder I wasn’t allowed back down here later . The beach is where you go to get hammered ,buts it weird because they’re older than you’d expect . I think on account of their alcohol laws . They can’t drink legally until 21. To see people in in there mid20s and older getting hammered on the beach in a state of virtual undress is foreign to what we Aussies know. That’s what our 16 to 18 yo’s would be happy to get up to . Here you’ll see’m as old as 35 + staggering in a g string or boardies with their red cups . (Everyone puts their alcohol in plastic red cups as it is illegal to drink in public . Although a blind eye is turned to the red cup) Firecrackers are legal but rockets are not . Shops along the roadside sell them everywhere leading up to this weekend. Fireworks constantly crackled all night along with plenty of gunfire and sirens . Even this morning at 8am I’ve heard a few belated bangs. On going to sleepEm and I looked at each other and laughed. For there was a cocophony of thousands of bangs and whistles and explosions that echoed into the night sky . Totally surreal. It went on for hours. Police ,emergency crew , sirens , horns , helicopters and planes carrying advertising messages and sign writing . And to think they all go to work today . Crazy !​

​Hopefully next year il be on the inside looking out from one of these parties.Yep they go hard the yanks .

We are about to drive back through the jungle to get back to our beach locale .The aircon in the car isn’t working well and there’s always a sense of foreboding when you drive on the freeways in LA.Apparently everyone heads to the coast today and Hermosa Beach becomes a circus. I’l be sure to send you back a video later .The little things matter when you make a trip to PalmSprings and back. I’ve never not had roadside assist, until now.No breaking down please as who do we call? The little negatives in the back of the head keep chipping away. We’ve been told to leave later as the traffic can be horrendous before lunch on this the holy grail of a day.The drive for the majority will be in 40 degree heat , in a 2010 Nissan Pathfinder with 110 thousand miles on the clock . Please get us home and il get you serviced in the next week . It’s weird we’ve just gone on a Holliday to the desert to leave the beach. Each little adventure is a leap of faith as the anxieties you’ve long mastered back home revisit . We are all alone and we havn’t got a leg rope but what do you do? You have a crack.

I’m in trouble . I just decided to jump in one of those inflatable tubes as they went past . Landed it perfect , right in front of Tex and Leroy. Course I’m a bit loose due to the special drink bottle water.Only problem I landed too hard and bounced it and me straight out of the water ,and back flipped . Problem was there was collateral , as some women also got flipped . I got up and everyone was laughing ,except her and the lifeguard .I actually got the warning whistle from the lifeguard and my kids and Emma said I better get out . Leroy came up a couple of minutes ago and said , ‘Dad that was legendary ,that was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen .’ Yeah I feel better now 

I’m feeling rather sorry for myself right now. Just sitting on my little resort patio with a beer in 1 hand ,my feet up and my eyes firmly fixed on the endless parade of derrière . Nah just playnwith yas. Just doin the Strayan thing and sitting by the pool and drinking coronas out of Ems drink bottle . Why pay quadruple when you can get a slab of corona for $23 and then beat the resort tab . As you guys know it’s a long weekend on account of July 4 here. I’m just relaxing that’s all , had a big day on top of the desert . Thirsty , just wish I could be winking and nodding and just corrupting things a bit with some other Aussies , cause this is our speciality , Beating the system and playing underdog and getting a little pissed and havn a laugh .    Yep , did I say it was dam hot . Oh well back to it .

Palm desert shopping outlet. I knew we were heading to this place on the way and I wasn’t worried. Seems I forgot the last time we were here 2 years ago . That was different, it was to be the only time we were going to be in a factory outlet type in the US in our lifetime.Yes , I did buy stuff and it is great value but this is where the good wife comes into a league of her own .Sure enough she took her position as lead pack dog  . Confidence is an understatement , the strut ,the straight back  , the conviction . Fuck we are totally fucked now . Sure enough I was in the normal position of sitting on bench seats with an ever increasing load of bags to haul. It was only 40 odd degrees but I stayed put . Don’t worry i’l get her back . I ‘l find a good liquor shop 

• How hot? Fuckn hot . A furnace .Palm Springs is in a valley between two arid mountain ranges . Just ahead lies Joshua Tree national park. Sounds alluring ,beautiful even . We know it’s name from U2.Yes it does have its own type of beauty but it’s ugly . A valley of small cacti and these little prickly palm fuckers they call Joshua trees ( I think , it’s too hot right now to properly research my claim) . You’re on the way to that special adult theme park ,Las Vegas.3 and half hours to drive to yet.Im sitting by the pool as I write this and it’s tough going.11am and it must be north of 38 already. Of course Emma plants us right in the middle of the sun . I’m getting thirsty and that’s what this place must of been invented for .For what else can you do here? Last week it got to 50 degrees 3 days in a row. Today a freezing 45.This leads to a beautiful location I discovered last night ;’Total Wine and Spirit’.When I walked into the cold of this divine ,refrigerated warehouse I knew I had finally come to Mecca . I started quivering as soon as I saw the thousand upon thousand of shiny , glimmering jewels filled with god’s special nectars.Sorry Dan you’ve been trumped in a big way. This joint has a crazy choice of everything alcoholic at ridiculously cheap prices.I actually got a headache as the choice is confusing . Can there be too much?Whos guessing what I’m getting up to?The pool area…………..I love the modern bikini.

Not the stings as in Hastings , Palm Springs. A drive out to the desert from the coast that only the Yanks could come up with .Being the driver I didn’t get the full perspective but I saw enough to just say ‘wow ‘ .Yeah, it’s not new ,a lot including me have driven this before, but this is bizarre. Once you get through the sprawl you dissect an arid like mountain range that could easily be a seen from Mars..Wind  turbines by the thousands melting into the  desert haze .A valley straight through the gates of hell. Who’d want to live out here , plenty. You’ve got to shake your head and laugh . Who came up with the idea that this sparse sprinkling of scrub trees out in the middle of bum fuck no where could become a Holliday destination ,let alone a playground for the wealthy.Cause California has terrible weather and beaches and ski fields and Yosemite and San Fran and …,,,it really needs an alternative ,right? Well we are here to scope it right out. I’l be honoured to send back the low down and use alcohol to enhance my story telling for the good of the ’cause’.pictures do not do it justice . Zoom in for a better look