Alright,I have been forthcoming in letting everyone know that I think they’re eats are pretty good . Not everything though.Where else would you get a breakfast burrito , omelette ,bacon and sides all served on a biscuit ?Buscuit , yes I kid you not . Result….Fuckn horrible. Now this joint in Manhatten beach is an institution and Emma had us line up for 20 minutes to get in . The menu had close to a hundred dishes  and that rings the alarm for me .Ive been watching enough of Gordon Ramsay to know a menu that big means the love is spread too thin .I asked for a cappuccino and the little Mexican waiter paused and looked confused and then trotted off . Oh O.On his return he had a coffee mug the size of a soup bowl with instant canned whip cream twirled up on top . Result ;hilarious but horrible . The meals were massive and that’s the key with some of the places here . They are more worried about you complaining about the quantity rather than quality . We also had lunch at another institution at Redondo Pier . An amazing location perched above the water looking down at the waves .Problem ; their marketing slogan of a menu unchanged since 1965 .We got sucked in . Here’s the problem ,they ate bland conservative food back then . Our clam chowder was actually canned creamy chicken soup with a bit of chopped fishy something thrown in .The food :SHIT. The staff all try they’re guts out and you’re obliged to tip at 15% and you feel you have to . So you do and then cross it off your list .Yep there’s some good stuff and then there’s some popular places that are institutions that you walk away shaking your head .The can still enjoy eating some crapview great but food from 65 not so 

More of a footnote story to the backend of the previous blog.Tex came home and told me his new mate’s dad is totally ripped and he’s muscles totally roast what I’ve got.I said ,’no way Tex I’ve got muscles everywhere even on my……….well everywhere ok. He s adamant this dad makes me look like a an overcooked twistie.I say no way he probably bats for the other team anyway. He asks ,’what do you mean’ ……..’.. Never you mind’.                So a couple of days later we take Tex to this party that Gab and Inga are hosting for their son . And that’s where this muscled up beautiful man is 1st introduced to me .We shake hands and at the same time Leroy is trying to pull my t shirt up in public to compare, I should I say humiliate me in a muscle off . At this stage we didn’t know they were relatively famous and sex symbols and actors and celebrities and good looking and nice and all that .Shiyat I was completely fuckn roasted. What I could I say ‘I’m a caulker ‘.  

Not a surprise if you’ve got the intel on this place .Professionals and well qualified people live here.Only 1 caulker that I know of and his skill doesn’t seem required.I’m going way early on this,as I’d hope to have more information by now but this place is going to take a while to pry open. The few parents that we have fleetingly got to know have some impressive career titles .An eye surgeon in Beverly Hills ,film editor of web sites, a marriage and divorce councillor and head of regional football(soccer) in LA .Funnily enough the latter (Michele) and the soccer chiefs wife have been the most forthcoming .Tex has be friended his way into a group of kids who have plenty of chutzpah. It helps to be confident if your parents are relatively well known actors in one case .Ganriel Hogan and his wife Inga Cadranel are two  Canadian actors.Check out their cv on google . When Em 1st met Gabriel she said ,’who’s he .He is real cute .’ I replied, ‘he’s probably some fuckn movie star ‘ .Turns out I wasn’t far off .I said ‘he’s wife looks like Demi Moore ‘ . Emma replied , ‘Bitch .’ I thought I’d better get that out there , as it’s real important you know  that we know famous people , and surely you can think back home that the howies have entered into the big league .  Yep ,actors ,surgeons,architects,engineers ,global merchanders of NYX and 1 caulker can be found in Hermosa Beach.

Endless .   Transferring of accounts ,opening lines of communication .Connecting to the US system takes patience. We’ve just moved into our permanent address from our previously free temporary lodgings .Yep ,the real world is just around the corner for yours truly.That means repeating a tedious process of change of address to the schools ,telcos ,ems work  ect. The problem is a lot of institutions require multiple forms of identification . An Aus drivers license doesn’t count ,or anything non American bar your visa and passport.Both schools need multiple proof of address . I had to print out a bank statement with all our details as one of 3 pieces of documentation .  On realising the statement reveals our exact financial position I’ve decided the school can stick it up their arse . As I’m sure they’d like a bigger donation . We have zero credit history and even got rejected on an attached credit card to our new Bank of America accts.Our mobile phones are on basic prepaid plans as we were rejected on a ‘plan’.Our new place is bigger and costs plenty ,but we have no wifi ,phone or tv . 3days of eerie quiet only broken up by the odd screaming match.And there’s the next problem . So far each telco has told us they have no cable network thus no wifi . The mobiles are now chewing through the data and are about to max out 7 days in to a new month .Blogs might be in trouble.We’ve got to go through the whole process of health checking and immunisations for both boys which isn’t easy .Even seeing a nurse at the chemist (yes a nurse does all the basics a gp would do at home ) is a 15 minute log onto a screen with gaps left out as the details aren’t all transferable. Of course she noted it would be a struggle to continue without them . This is our lot or should I say Emma’s as my expertise isn’t in the detail more in the cursing .We are still stuck in the quick sand of establishing ourselves as non alien. I’m incredulous to think how the millions of  Mexicans illegally got into the US and established a life with all the requirements and weren’t vetted out.Anyway,it’s actually a novelty to have no Tv or radio for a week ,but for the fact we don’t know what’s happening in the NBA finals . Ridiculous considering we are in the heart of it .A surf this morning will clear the head and then Emma can clear this mess up while doing her job. Sounds fair.

Alright back to the traffic .A few things. Your allowed to turn right through a redlight as long as you give way to your left. I thought it crazy at 1st but it actually works well. You get tooted if you’ve got your indicator on and don’t turn .It feels totally wrong in the early days ,paranoia takes hold and you look over your shoulder ready to be pulled over .Thats nice but the 4 way stop and wait intersection is mad .Check my little video and example setting to my oldest son ,Tex​

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Yep,punished for enjoying yourself.Copped my first parking fine while i loosened the shoulders in the Pacific Ocean. Straight out of the city of stonningtons playbook .$38 fine for parking on a Monday morning .See if you can spot the signage

Zoom in at the bottom .Now I’ve only got $12 left of my weekly allowance .Shit I ‘l have to buy myself a 1 litre bottle of vodka with the change to get through the weekend .I thought I was able to work but like a lot of things there’s a catch .I’l have to send a cheque of $495 to the office of homeland security. That’s about a months wages working for any the esteemed businesses that require my skills (none).Yep I think we should reconsider and maybe use that money on my next 10 weeks allowance money .  Yeah ,a long term approach might work best .

Lots of stuff.1st ,I’ve been walking past the lawn bowling club pondering whether I’m old enough to join .Im surprised they were actually here .Thought it could help me connect .You know get a bit of charity and be offered some job helping the oldies .I don’t know , driving them around and stuff. Maybe take m out for a surf or something . Anyway I scoped out the times and decided to saunter past.Fuck me dead! There was no one over 50 ,couldn’t see a grey  hair or a walking stick in sight .Full of designer dads or should I say wankers ,everywhere. It was straight out of a Ralph Lauren or a Polo advertisement .Instead of pollo its lawn bowls .Dale Verhagen you would love this. Sucking on a pimms and rolling the old  balls or not so old I should say; over the Sant Ana couch.Pencil thin moustaches and v necks in the boat shoes .  Yep , hoping to see some chewed up oldie with a dickie knee ain’t gonna happen in Hermosa Beach .They don’t grow old here they just see their surgeon .

Its weird , EJ has just bulldozed me through 8 hours of moving . 400 m up the road into a 3 bedroom apartment with large balcony facing west to the Pacific Ocean . We haven’t got any wi fi or tv connected yet . Got the best of jjj s all time 100 playing off her phone in the background .Just me .The kids and Em (EJ) are all showering , preparing for the new week . Got a beer in my hand thinking about what’s gonna unfold next week . The place has limited lighting and with the sun going down behind the June gloom you’d almost think you were in Melbourne . The Sunday footy on the telly and the heater or open fire going and I’d be content . These are the moments that sneak up on you and remind you that your on the other side of the world .Fucking surreal . You get lonely ,it’s early days and who knows what’s going to happen next.But ,we’l back in Australia and i’l have s thousand stories to tell .Can’t wait.

Important stuff . Burgers. I’ve previously thought that the burger is totally over rated.Only it’s ugly relative ,the pizza could I rate lower . The Aussies haven’t helped with my opinion as I think we’ve been pretty shithouse in this area. Ok , we’ve rapidly improved and we are comparable to what I’ve tasted over here so far . But there’s a big but,only fleetingly. They are fuckn regally expertised when it comes to a burger and fries.And I mean I am gobsmacked at how good they can make a mince meat patty between two pieces of dough taste. I’m converted ,Dominic Brancatisano .There is an art to the quality burger .The thing is you’re prepared as Aussies to not trust them because they’re full of shit. And they are.But they put there money where there mouth is and fully experiment ,and I concede it’s worth the risk .There’s a caveat of course .They have to on account of the competition. They have a never ending array of sauces and marinates,and it goes on and on .Of course I’ve had a couple of beers for lunch and that always helps the ‘love factor’ .But for me the humble burger with BBQd onions,egg , bacon ,tomato and lettuce still has a special place in my heart , especially with a hangover . But move over ,you’ve been trampled by the new breed of yanky burger on steroids . Yep,I’m converted .

All right it’s Friday arvo ,Leroys been picked up for an afternoon play date ,Tex is where ever and 2 days waiting for removal trucks and deliveries have been seen to .What to do ? Get back on the bike and get back out there of course .Conditions were pretty ordinary at my regular spot but stuff it I’l test the foot out .Embarrassed to be out there at first ,to be honest . There was a family playing right at the shore and I thought I’d show the young tyks how the old dog can weave a few into the shore .As I’ve said before and no doubt will harp on regularly there is a lot of dolphins about .And so today on the most unremarkable of days I got my closest taste to date .Out the corner of my eye 300 m away I spotted a fin  jagging along through the chop . Within 30 seconds a pod of 3 dolphins had closed within 20m . Then10.Then 2m .Circling and slicing through the incoming sets right on top of me .Adrenilin was pumping but I knew I had to stay calm and just observe.After 20 seconds they’d moved to my left and I got back down on my stomach and paddled out looking at an approaching set .Then on my right side two dark shapes closed in fast . ‘Howie they’re only dolphins calm down’ I say . One zags right and then the other dark shape charges straight at me . ‘Fark no im gonna get eaten!Didnt even have time to pull my feet up and this big arse 8 foot dolphin flys sideways looking straight up at me directly underneath.The fear is instantaneous and you realise how little chance you’d have if it was uncle jaws.But seconds later you’re totally buzzing cause you know these magnificent creatures are inquisitive and just playing with you .Theyre size ,power and sheer speed totally spooks you but I loved it .Now just don’t do it again