2 hrs south of Hermosa Beach just b4 San Diego . Laymo Land . A place for families with kids under 7 . Yep it feels past it’s use by date already . You have to be a nerd or just getting out of your nappy to get excited .Like a mass heard in the Serengeti the buffalo flock with there young . I joined in of course to graze in the All you can eat deep pan pizza,pasta and a gallon of post mix Diet Coke to keep the calories down.30 degrees plus in the sun . Fucking baking away waiting for the kids while they wait for a ride . Now as the sweat trickles down my back as I wait for the kids in the waterpark I can’t even think of a rewarding beer as I’ve got the white knuckle ride on the 405 back to navigate . And she sure is scarier than any thing this place has to offer . Especially as I’m constantly reminded that the big arse fuckn truck is about to cross over and crush us to death .Sorry LegoLand but you’re not the type of zoo I can recommend.

Went to the small farmers market on the way home from school.  It’s a cool little set up with some stalls you don’t get back home.  Like vegetarian Indian and the seafood stall based on sashimi. My kids were straight in looking for the cool stuff like hotdogs, ice cream, lollies and coke . Yep taught the fuckers well . What was interesting was that all the kids gather here after school and they all tend to line up at a couple of stalls. Wtf? They’re all in the queue getting the Mexican chicken, vegetable and salad bowls . Tex has a coke with an ice cream cup on the end . Leroy has a bag of popcorn and a Nathan (hot) dog .The kids  are healthy here . Pimples no, fat no . Every day you see large groups (20 plus) of girls and boys running through the streets . Together. What’s wrong with keeping kids at home on their iPads? That’s normal isn’t it? At least that’s what I thought parenting was all about, so I’m freed up to watch a good car chase or Jerry. 

Yep the family eatery -restaurant over here are big and something I’ve tried to avoid . But I’ve got to admit they have on every occasion been much better than I’d expected. Take note Aussie pubs with the exception of your upmarket joints .You serve up lazy pre packaged frozen crap that would put you out of business in short time over here. And the pricing of your steak ( not as good as US ) and seafood is priced at restaurant prices . That’s where you’d go under in no time here . Yes I’ve gotta begrudgingly concede that there lower end family dining in California is superior to Melbourne . Top end.    Not sure yet 

A magnificent morning in the surf  . Sunny ,clean and out all by myself. At low tide you tend to get out a bit deeper looking for something that doesn’t close out .Wild life is abundant and the dolphins skirt along the back of the sandbanks . Great . This morning they got pretty close . After thinking about it for most of the day ( got the time),I think I worked out what was at play.you see they kept fanning back and forth (5 or 6 including a couple of juveniles) about 15 to 20 m beyond me. Now when you see all these little fish jumping up around me you can see that these little guys are getting hearded in . Ok the only thing is there’s a spate of great white shark sitings 40 ks up the coast . Hmmm   . Fuck it i’l be out there tomorrow .

After another tough morning out in the water and then pounding the strand I moped back into the apartment to slave over the washing and dishes and stuff . But then I got a shiver down my back when I realised counselling and uplift was a press of the button away. Yes ,when you get cheated on by your man in front of all of his mates and then confront and then punch the shit out of him and his ‘lady on the side’ .. To be told you are’ boring’ and the four kids  you’ve had will have to wait .All on national television . But wait your man says he’s sorry and on 2nd thoughts drops on one knee and asks for your hand which you accept. Wow ! Thank you Jerry you have given me the conviction to keep striving and keeping the couch well worn throughout the day . Plus I learned a new phrase : ‘Jerry Beans’.   Yep you’ll find them on the chests of most women .    Happy Birthday LEROY

Yep it’s ground hog day again . Another walk down the strand another model shoot.This time I had EJ and a well connected and respected work associate of Emma’s (John) with us . It proved I don’t lurk down here with my target bag leering at the sights (ok my blogs may not support that ) but I did sneak a photo in over the back of Johns shoulder. It really impressed John and EJ but I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t walk up another 20 meters .That way I could use him as cover so I could get a close up angle …….. of you know ….stuff.Anyway it reinforced the view that I was a reliable mature person who might have reasonable employment prospects over here . Yeah I really impressed and I got another picture to prove I’m committed.

Tough call so only a few observations .1st cheese is pretty tame(I’d say bad ).No tasty bitey cheeses only cheddar and orange coloured cheeses.Monterey  jack and sharp cheddar(orange colour)are the staple. There more a filler than a stand alone but you get used to them .Of course if you go gourmet you can find some good stuff. Chocolate now we’ve got them there too . I can eat most chocolate but good old cadburys has them covered . There chocolates tend to be too sweet and over processed. But once again there a couple like reeses cups and m&ms that I can handle. Now this is a worry .Steak! Now I’m only talking supermarket style but the one and only steak I’ve had was cheap and markedly better than anything I’ve bought from anywhere in Australia in the last couple of years. Maybe it was just luck but I will say it was highly marbled and most likely grain fed ,not my usual preference. Now my patriotism says our beefs better and maybe it is but I think the yanks might not sell off there good stuff overseas and are more than happy for their citizens to purchase it at not exorbitant cost in your supermarket . And that I dip my lid 

Well ,after a long walk with my target bag down to vons supermarket. (There big on you having your own bags no plastic bags as well) I do screw it up and hide it in my pocket so no one thinks I’m homeless . Ihave thought about the toilet rant and on retrospect I can see the counter argument of the privacy with the trough . But it comes down to technique . If you cock the elbows out and don’t think about anything little shagosaur can do his thing . And really any guy knows a sly sideways look at the opposition is fundamental to the law of the jungle. Anyway I’m back watchn Jerry Springer now and I know there’s s lot more important stuff to watch . C u 

Restrooms .1st of all who calls them that anywhere else.We can’t offend can we? There fuckn toilets .Always were always will be .Now the public restroom for men has become totally sanitised in Australia and completely so here . I’m talking about the trough . Yep the easiest most practical and surely efficient way to take the horses for a drink . But no .Some fuckwit from pc land had to ruin it for mankind and protect our privacy and invent our little dome urinals which means if your busting to wet the toes and it’s busy your(me) in serious trouble . Plus here there is hardly a bush on site so your forced hold the package with one hand and dance on the spot . Also a lot of the public ‘restrooms’ are individual cubicles with doors that have no ‘occupied or vacant’ signs . The only  logic I can think of is it may show that someone is inside and thus busy .Now that might be embarrassing. So you are forced to try and open the door hoping no one is inside .And like this morning when I yanked at the door it flung open and some poor bastard was havn a shit .He cried he couldn’t lock it. So when you finally get in these fuckers it’s like a war zone ,shirt over face ,sweating,dry reaching  and with people often trying to open the door on you . Yep we had to get pc and fuck it up . What’s wrong with the old block with a trough and a couple of shitters .