Yep , I figure this is a good idea . Save your books and lunch from exploding . Stuff the kids shoulders if it’s a bit heavy , you’re wearing this fucker . I’m telling ya it’s gonna take off , apparently they can’t keep up with demand . You could wear one on the back and another on the front if you had big plans .Only thing is you need it close at hand in an emergency . A backpack worn all day while your at class , no . Under your desk at your feet or within arms reach , yes . Ingenuity rises from a crisis , at least in this country . Just when you thought combatting guns in school was a forlorn assignment out comes a cunning adaption to the old school bag . …. The bullet proof backpack. I’m thinking this is the beginning, a great idea that will transport itself into other garments . It’s a matter of time before we have the first bulletproof school uniform . Just wish I had the cash to be in on the game . …… The Bullet Proof Backpack …….. only in America …… next .. the bullet proof school uniform Mark my words kiddies , you’l be wearing it soon

We know Tex likes to stretch things . He’s happy to take advantage of someone else’s misfortune. As you may have heard the kids are free range and cashed up . Tex always knows how to position himself to gain the benefits . He’s already acquired 2 skateboard decks from his mate David , who’s parents happen to be well stocked in the coin department.He’l often go without lunch as he can leverage the nice hot stuff off his mates who are fortunate to buy it everyday . Same on the weekend . The $10 or occasional $20 that he’l get off us will be spent in the first 10 minutes . No matter , his friends will buy him Macca’s for the rest of the weekend . Recently one of the kids left their top behind, a Gianni Versace. Tex adopted it with great pleasure , taking photos of himself wearing it so as the kid who left it behind could see this on social media .Cheeky fucker . This top was garish, a horrible red and white jacket that looked like it belonged in the Sydney cheer squad .You can’t buy taste . Who could possibly buy their kid this ? The parents response below answers this perfectly Ok I get it , the top is expensive . ( this text was apparently from the kid , but I don’t think so )Tex reckons a couple of grand or more is it’s worth . Obviously a sense of humour ( taking the piss) is something a lot here don’t find funny . A 24 hour threat or legal action ? Of course the jackets coming back, that’s why it’s on social media and the kids go to school together . Moral of this story . If your going to show off your wealth don’t leave it behind .

The kids are 12 years of age , they look it but don’t act it . Tex was always going to be more adventurous, he’d test the boundaries.He wanted to come here bad , said it is a way better part of the world . Leroy and I remained quiet , we are footy heads( me only , now )and love staying in our Burroughs . After a month Tex was desperate to come home . School standards , homework, constant testing and close teacher monitoring were and still are , a wake up call .I had a suspicion that there might be an environment that Tex could be lead astray . We found it . Most of the kids are spoilt , have a regular supply of pocket money ( more than I spend on myself)and are extremely tech savvy . Smart as well .The flip side is the schooling . I imagine it would be similar to a lot of private schools in Aus , there’s pressure , excessive homework and standards to be met . The kids follow in their parents foot steps , college educated professionals.The’ flip side’ is where Tex is totally rebelling . He doesn’t want to do the work ,but wants the pocket money and freedom of his mates , both sexes .Note how I put both sexes . I’m worried that that is where he is willing to do the work .This is where advancement may come a lot quicker . I know it’s not new in Australia . The thing is ,we were just removed enough in Mornington to hold back the tide . The Mornington kids seem to be on the longer route , not the short …. root . Tex has maturity and a I high IQ in street smarts , he’s just landed in the hot house . Emma has access to his phone ( every kid has one ) . It’s the conversations that are interesting ……..??? Do I have to say anymore ? Ok , fucking has been mentioned , by one of the girls . Yep , it’s close I reckon . These kids know everything . Emma has asked me to talk to him , but what do you say to a kid who you suspect knows a bit ?? At his age I only thought hair grew on your head and playing down ball was was what you played at lunchtime at school . Now I’m scared they may play a different type of down balls . Puberty and adolescence is here . These kids are out until 10 pm on weekends , roam the street ( sometimes) , and think and occasionally act older than they are . Shit I might be forced to talk about technique, using a condom and taking your time ., not the birds and the bees . …. I might even have to take notes , I might learn something .Yep , education might be in a different field

We’re in the slow down , sort of . The days have shortened , quicker than I’ve experienced.Does this joint have a real winter ? The water temperature has decreased rapidly , much faster than I experienced on the Peninsula.The days start cold , often with a fog , but as per usual the blue sky takes over and the sun brings us up into the low 20s , beautiful .The sea breezes have stalled and the days are still .The swell is back but the long hot summer has taken the sand banks .Ferocious shore breaks, be prepared to be hammered . We put the gas log fire on last night . I thought it was just for show , another LAism . It’s 440 on Saturday afternoon and the dark is coming quick , I enjoy it . I’m told it gets dark in the tropics of Aus like this . It reminds you of a Saturday or Sunday afternoon , sitting on the couch watching the footy . I don’t know if I’m acclimatised, maybe if you’d had lobbed here now you’d laugh at the absurdity of a fire being on . I’m wondering what an LA winter will bring ,surely not the rain , cold , working in the mud that I’ve become accustomed. December 21 / 22 is the beginning of winter here . We got here on April 15 and it was hot , and didn’t let up until early November . Winter must be fleeting . Rain , if ever ? Doesn’t matter either way as i’l be back soon . I’l drink to that , … again

Ok , it was 6 days ago. Can’t say I know much about it. It didn’t help to be away as we did have an option to go to somebody’s place . Next year should be more inclusive.The whole of Denver was practically a ghost town on the day, nearly everything was shut ..I had to cheat to find out about its origin ,safari. Thanks Giving is held on the last Thursday of every November . It originated from the first pilgrims celebrating the end of harvest with a feast . 1629 is the generally accepted beginning . Turkey is the signature dish , apparently originating from the hunting of wild fowl for the harvest feast . Somehow I thought it had something to do with Christmas dinner where of course the Yanks had to it their way and have it a month early . The Howard’s did feast out and in a big way . We ended up at a banquet in a hotel in Denver . The day is all about the squeeze, get as much in you’re gob and try and get home before you lay on the floor and sleep.The beauty of going to a public place in Denver for Thanks Giving is the people watching . You can imagine there are some serious eaters over here and this Thanks Giving banquet didn’t disappoint. I should of took the moral high ground , but fuck it , I’m joining in . A turkey leg(huge), a superb flank of sirloin steak ( massive),prawns(shrimp), salmon ,antipasto platter,roast vegetables and 3 serves of dessert got me warmed up . A couple of beers and half a bottle of wine washed it down nicely .By the end of the night I didnt think I could walk to the cab . Don’t worry there were people here who seriously might’ve started with my my gorge before doubling up .Each year it is well documented that some NFL players compete in a challenge to gain as much weight on Thanks Giving . Last year Buffalo Bills guard Richie Incognito won with 15pounds.(7 kilograms). They say the day after Thanks Giving is the biggest day of the year for plumbers , not me .I was blocked up for 3 days on protein. The strategy is to leave the starch out and to get off the beer , allowing ones self a better chance to ‘meat up.’ It worked.Of course there were repercussions , emissions. I soon became Mick the master farter with his double jointed arse. There are subtle differences in the fare eaten on Thanks Giving compared to Christmas Day in Australia . Pumpkin pie is the main one . They love it , worship it in fact . I made up my mind , it’s gotta be shit . A sweet pumpkin pie as a dessert . Who does that ? …… I take it back . The pie I tasted was light and fluffy and subtly flavoured with cinnamon and a hint of clove . Sweet but not overly rich . That’s disappointing, I wanted to take it down . Cinnamon is an American favourite . They use it with a lot of desserts and also in coffee and tea (yuck).Their gravies and sauces tend to be sweetened a lot as well . I have come around to this , never thought I would .Blue cheese sauce is big here as well . I thought it worked well on salad . They love it on meat and burgers , too rich I reckon. The alcohol is a bit different too .Eggnog ??? Unfortunately they didn’t have that .They have a drink with heated cider , spices and either rum or whisky . It looked disgusting , sounded no better but shit it tasted all right . I’m telling you , the Yanks know their way around liquor . I’m learning that fast , maybe too fast . Judgement? …. It’s Christmas Day without the presents.

Once landed and through Denvers excellent airport Emma and I both had head aches that wrapped around the lower back of our head . Coincidence maybe ,but we suspect it may have something to do with Denvers elevation . They call it the mile high city for it is in fact 1600 feet above sea level. The longest ever recorded professional home run was hit here . The little circuit I did at the gym the following morning soon had me strung out as I was reaching for more oxygen .Tex suffered from a headache the next day which was alleviated with soft drink .The city is a lot like Melbourne but the surrounding suburbs were anything but. Denver sits on a large plane surrounded by mountain ranges . It’s nearly winter and what very few trees stood have dropped their leaves . It’s flat all the way to the distant mountain ranges , with a cold grey sky it looks bleak . I couldn’t live here , not green enough.At least not the green I’m looking for.That’s probably not fair as this place is prospering , our Uber driver tells us that 10, O00 people a month are moving here .The legalisation of marajuana has made this place the forefront of the industry , in turn people are moving here to ride the marajuana entrepreneurial wave.Its staggering the diversity that this little plant produces and this place will wring every last drop out of it .Its not LA , the roads are a lot better and they enforce road rules similar to Australia.Speed cameras , signage enforcing penalties and even breath testing busses. Construction is booming and it looked the modern methods used back home were prevalent. Yes , even caulking was a common sight .The drive into Estes Park took us along a ravine with a river at the bottom . The houses built in amongst the pine and rock were timber log style and all sizes . What really had me wondering was the shacks and cabins hidden in the woods that you just caught a glimpse of.Are these the type of folk that live off the grid ? Here in America this feels accepted , it s better than the shockingly high levels of homeless . Even Denver had a lot more than I expected . We saw a woman with her kids begging and a lot are war veterans . The winter must be savage for some .Estes Park opens up at the end of the ravine , exposing a small town sitting at the end of a lake surrounded my boulder covered mountains . Behind the town , the rugged snow capped Rocky Mountains . I never new the movie The Shining was filmed here until we stumbled upon The Stanley Hotel . A beautiful old world hotel that ran a shiver down your spine.It’s not it’s fault as Dumb and Dumber was also filmed here .The mountains behind this quaint tourist town is where the real attraction waits . The town is busy , always busy I’m told , for it thrives on the tourist dollar .Trekking in to the foothill of The Rocky Mountains bring its rewards .Words and photos don’t do it justice . Sometimes the tracks reminded of a fairytale, with the dense wood closing over the top of you , opening up onto the frozen Bear Lake and Elberta Falls . We walked for miles with our hired hiking boots and spikes ( Emma made us hire them , and of course she was right ) .We went home and slept well with the assistance of some of those special nectars . Goodbye Colorado , it was worth it .

Ok ,we are in Colorado . You’ve got Denver, you’re thinking what else ? Aspen and Vail , yeah them too . Boulder , you’ve heard of that . We stopped at Boulder briefly , very cool . Boulder has the University of Boulder , it’s a very forward , progressive town . It’s also very green , arts , crafts , new age and left . Street performers , psychics , artists , hiking , rock climbing, hippie , green timber style green , alpaca knits , fossil shops ( true , even had a certified meteorite stripped down into jewellery pieces ) , organic , vegetarian .Its at the foothills of the Rockies . Pretty no , but it’s a gateway city between modern ( Denver) and the rugged beauty of Americas national parks .Next : Estes Park ,a half hour drive through barren hills that thread through a pass , opening into a rugged pine covered mountain range with mesmerising snow peaks .It’s not on the glamorous , rich and famous list but over here it’s revered .Think Wilsons Prom in the snow , fully commercialised . Lorne, Hahndorf, Cockatoo , you know them . This is Estes Park ,at the foot of the Rockies , the Colorado River , pine forests, enormous rock formations ,snow,a getaway for everyone in Denver . We’re not unique , but we’ve ticked this box and I won’t take this for granted . Estes Park is beautiful.

There are always themes on a holiday . Adult , children and mine . We’re in Colorado for 5 days ;2 days in Denver , 3 in Estes Park ( look it up ). Of course I did a little research and got stuck on a bit of a snag , alcohol . I refuse to admit any problems , I’m always in control and I love getting pissed . What’s wrong with that ? Colorado is set up for many things ;I just happened to get stuck on breweries and distilleries. Give a rats? Seriously folks , don’t judge me . Just salute and raise your glasses to Howie , cause he’s tasting the good gear in the name of research .

You get on this train at the airport and you’re on the way to Denver . It’s weird , you know you are within 20 minutes of a major city but there are paddocks of dried grass . We’re getting closer and the landscape has been invaded by masses of new housing estates . Think Caroline Springs / Point Cook . All new , too new . No trees , no greenery . It reminds me of Morwell , the Latrobe Valley . The horizon is pierced by some serious sky scrapers , Denver is close . It’s old cliched mid west America . Farming and industry getting swallowed up by new houses , infrastructure and even a big university . Finally we are here . Think Melbourne , think Denver . This place is in the midst of a housing and construction boom . It’s traditional , sport tribal , gritty , tough , foody , old and new architecture. Beer and brewing is huge . Oh yeah !!

After living in LA for 7 months this is a return to real . Old buildings , brickwork , trams , Bourke street style malls , museums , galleries , big old trees without leaves.No plastic surgeons at every corner . Pants , jumpers , beards , fairy lights , cfm boots , puffer jackets , sporting stadiums in the cbd . Yeah , I’m familiar with this vibe . And to to top it off , snow capped mountains looking down on this old world city. Denver …… pretty cool.

We are 15 mins from LAX , so the uber is easy. Breakfast in terminal 7 , not so . Kids are hardly catered for . 15 mins in the terminal and I’m already expressing myself in no uncertain terms . Swearing, yes .Multiple times, yes. Heard by the public , yes. Care, no . Tex ? Who else. Plane , no window seat . Window guy , keeps his window shut . Of course we had to get the Poindexter who didn’t want to see the American landscape .Whats to see? Oh , only snow capped mountain ranges , lakes , deserts, forests , cities , and a third of America . The approach ( window opened for last 5 mins)spectacular , snow capped mountain ranges on two sides . Denver Airport , the best I’ve seen .Efficient , clean , almost like an art gallery . You actually caught a brief fast train from the terminal to the baggage collection . No Tullamarine half marathon from Jetstar to baggage . Guess what ? A train from the airport ( 50m walk) to the city of Denver . Who would of thought such an idea ? ….. Just got here , it’s a ghost town . Think Christmas Day . Report back later