Em came home and said I should have a go at joining this mob to get my nose into the industry. Oh yeah , yeah right , ok , hmmm,it couldn’t hurt I suppose , I said with enthusiasm.All you have to do is go on line and register your details and answer a few questions. Ok. So I got on line and hit the questionaire . 20 questions that eventually got harder as they go . Wow , I pulled it off and the agency will send an email on the next move .Sure enough an email arrives 10 minutes later and I’m to watch a video to proceed . After the video another questionaire pops up , mainly about the 13 minute video . Shit , I was hardly taking it all in and now I’m locked into 20 questions . The 1st 17 I sail through,but the last 3 you need to be a trained professional to get these right . Sure enough , I’ve pulled the miracle 20 out of 20 and I’m through . Geezuz, now I’ve gotta do a small biopic on video and send it in. You can re do the video if you aren’t happy with it . On the 2nd take I submit it through. As soon as my finger hits the button a huge wave of doubt pulses through me . I look down at the video requirements and I’m to answer a couple of questions in the video . Oh shit , I didn’t do that , I’m screwed .3 days and no response . Yep I’ve been eliminated at the last hurdle . On the 4 th day I get an email congratulating me and asking me to come in for a 90 minute orientation, answer and question induction and an official 1 minute video to be sent out to potential clients , The Aussie accent has surely got me through at the last hurdle as I feel this process has been about elimination  at each mistake .The last 24 hours I’ve been edgy and a bit short . This morning I take my 1 st drive through peak hour traffic and make my way to Santa Monica . I’ve relieved myself multiple times at the toilet , reviewed everything I know in my head on the drive in and I actually slept well and went back to sleep after waking in the middle of the night . Ive got here 20 minutes early , found a gold car park and I think I’m ready . I walk around the park looking for the meeting place but there is no one here . I check that I’ve got the address correct and everything lines up.  What the hell have I done ? I look at my watch and it’s the 17 th of August , Thursday. I then check my email details again and there it is . ‘ your orientation will be on the 18 th of August . WTF.!! I’m here a day early . I ring Em and she bursts out laughing , but does admit that she read the details and had the day as today . WAG will be seeing me tomorrow.Yep I know what you guys think ; the Western Actors Guild will do my stuff Friday. …… .. Ok it’s not quite that but it sounds kinda cool . It’s WAG the dog walking agency . It’s the Uber of dog walking . Yep , I’m down to the final stages of joining a dog walking agency . You just ring up WAG and they find a walker in the area that suits you . They’l send in the walkers details and video and then you can decide if you want to proceed with that walker or find another .   Oh  well ,guess Ive  just done a test run . The big days tomorrow. I just hope no one from WAG reads this as there’s no use rocking up at someone’s house a day early , unless you’ve got other intentions, of course . Yep it’s ground hog day again  

I must go for a good walk each day . It serves multiple purposes,  the main 2 being my steps competition and unearthing things . The unearthing bit is a slow process as I’m not confident enough to just barge in an introduce myself and ask questions . It is true that I use the Aussie factor as a disarming tool but I still take it slowly. Now I blogged a while ago that I found some fame and history that is attached to the fabric of this place. I love the small industrial area out the back as I’ve sensed there’s a lot more to tell but I’m taking my time , I don’t want to be that guy who’s a nuisance and just wants to do some star fucking . Anyway , i drifted in again and found my easy target Keonie who funnily enough is the conduit to anyone who is known . What I found is there are some recording studios hidden in this ramshackle set of sheds and factories. Some very reputable bands can be found locked away here .Legendary punk band Pennywise is one . Cotton Mouth is another and also an up and coming band called STD. My mate Keonie is actually a talented artist as this  picture below is the album cover he’s working on for STDAlso our little mate Greig the metal worker has some fascinating clientele.Below is the Pennywise symbol he madeGreig is the guy who made the purple prince creation and surfings famous triple crown ring .He does some intricate work . He is currently making a special hammer for a one of the most sought after violin makers in the world . Check this brilliantly shot and hosted video by Howie​ . Yep I’m just going to bring in my own special type of professionalism

Ok, Em reckons I’m whinging . Getting to the doctor isn’t easy. A week after seeing the nurse at the minute clinic ( a nurse who treats basic complaints like cold and flew and minor infections) I just saw the doctor about my continuing ear infection . Finding the doctor is the tricky bit .There is no medi care and most major employers have health plans with insurance companys that will have a set of doctors that you are to see . You have to log onto their site to find which professional is matched to the area you live in .Of course the site is set up to Emma’s card number and password so I have to wait for her to get home and find it for me .With details in hand I ring the doctors reception to book in ,but no I’m told that my insurance has a set of options attached to it and I must relay those details to them . In the end I decided to walk down with my card . I had a choice of 3 doctors ; the 1st was now taking no new patients has he had an ongoing full quota (wtf!), so I settled on a woman as I thought this would be good for Emma down the track . All happy , I was told that Dr. Nicole Lee could see me on September 2, wtffff!’That ain’t gonna work I might be mute by then ‘, I replied.’Pardon sir’…….   ‘never mind what about the last guy ‘. You could see him in one hour , or else next Monday. ‘Lock it in ‘, I replied.So after going through a thorough questionnaire and physical exam by a nurse the  Doctor checked my ear. In under 2 minutes he’s decided that this is to be seen by a specialist . Bang ! No resolution , just a name and number for me to ring . Em rings straight after and I tell her I’m going to ring this specialist up. She then says is he on our list of professionals? ‘Fuckd if I know’ , I reply . Ok you better wait till I get home and i’l log on and see if he’s one of the otolaryngologist on  our providers list . Are you kidding?  ‘Darl it’s no different to Australia…… ..     Oh geeezus can’t I even have a bit of a bitch ,I’m almost totally deaf as my good ear is blocked and my bad ear when last tested (5 yrs ago) had 68%. And I still can’t go in the water until I see some specialist in who knows when?One things for sure I know automatically what my heart beat per minute is as I can hear it swooshing through my head at all times . Cmon it’s better in Australia , say it is , please .

Every 2 nd day poor Tex has been getting harassed by the local female persuasion. Poor old Punxsutawney Phil is forced to pop his head out of his Burrough and confront his worse nightmare. These young girls have got balls , so to speak . They’ve tracked our place down and are not scared to knock on the door and ask for Tex to come down and let them in our communal pool, of course they expect Tex to play with them . Tex will regularly try and hide and pretend he’s not here . The other day he let them in and then escaped out the back door . All the while these girls were waiting in the pool . They even ordered a pizza and cookies but Tex had flown the coup .Yep , poor old Punxsutawney Phil doesn’t know how fortunate he is , give it a couple of years and it might all change .​

One of the 1st people in our apartment block that we were introduced to is Toby and Lara,and their little 2 year old Isabella.Theyre an English family that initially moved here on account of Lara relocating here through her job with Trip advisor. Toby started off as the stay at home dad for their newborn Isabella while Lara went back to work .I like these guys , it’s expats that have an obvious common ground . There are a lot in our block ( more about them later ). Toby worked in the bank for 20 years and then left to work in sales. He met Lara after his 1st marriage ended and followed her to the other side of the world . Now I’m recounting this story after a couple of beers around the pool a few weeks ago . It’s a cautionary tale about how it’s not easy to get a foothold over here . After 9 months ( I think , I was a bit loose)Toby decided he’d try and get a job . He tells me it wasn’t an easy process as salespeople over here are treated mean and lean . After many knock backs he’d targeted his dream job . Selling BMW s and working in the BMW sales department. He eventually landed the role . It turned out that BMW in LA was to be the worse job of his career so far. He was to sell cars with no retainer and only earned a commission on each car he sold . He was pressured to work long hours 7 days aweek and the sales team were regularly critiqued on meeting their quotas.The Germans were ruthless because they know the states is a competitive place with many candidates ready to take on the job regardless of the poor working conditions. Toby ended up walking away and was eventually ready to take a job for meserati when the very person who previously rented our apartment offered him a job selling aluminium panels (Aluca bond)used for fascias on buildings . After 2 years he now is finally starting to feel settled and admitted it had been a tough initiation.He has to travel and stay in San Fransisco a couple of days a fortnight but after flying by the seat of his pants he’s happy . The conditions and the rights of workers as well as the pay are generally well below Britain and Australia . Over time I’m sure we’l  get to know these guys better as the Poms and Aussies have a lot in common and these guys are in the same boat we are .

I apologise. When your over here you’ve got no one to share your experiences with . You don’t get to go to work or the footy or school and say , ‘ how was that concert ‘ or ‘did you see the mad crowd down at the beach . Theres no whinging, celebrating or talking shit about your weekend . It gets stored up and clogged up in your memory space . I get rid of it by throwing it out onto the net . I want , we want you guys to see , feel and smell what we are experiencing . It’s surreal ( I know I’ve said that too much ) and I’ve been prone to go overboard with the live streaming , but fuck it . Your in Mornington or Australia and we are living on the beach in California . Can you believe that? Today we saw Everclear with thousands of yanks on the sand at Hermosa Beach . Ok , they’re not the Chilli Peppers but who’d say they’d come to California for a beach concert to see Everclear and then walk home to have a beer and write about it. It’s definitely been a tough transition for myself and the kids but it’s these days that you put in the vault . Storage, for another day down the track when I can reminisce and talk endlessly about that day down the beach . You guys getting tired of me talking about Californian shit , …. again. This is real , I’m writing to you guys now with a slice of American frozen pizza( the frozen pizza here is better than the majority of the pizza bought in Australian pizza restaurants) and a 1 pint can of Wolf Pup IPA beer at 8%, We’l go to bed soon with the fan on and feet hanging out of the doona . Can you believe that? It’s Sunday night and we’re just lounging around like it’s it the 1st week of January on one of those beautiful balmy nights in Melbourne while sipping on a nice beer with the leg hung over the arm of the couch .  Soon as you get outside you can see your somewhere totally different to what you’ve always known and I apologise because I’m gonna keep throwing it your way , cause I need to get it out . 

1st of all , the long awaited count down to see some friends from back home finally arrived. Siobhan ,Maire and Margaret stopped here briefly before they headed to LAX for the big flight home . Can’t believe we saw these guys most days but now only fleetingly for a few hours and they’re gone . They’ve got kids and hubby’s that you’d talk to often but not now (hi guys) , still so familiar . We’ve taken it for granted , one of the many that we interact with through school , sport and life , but not now. When they left today it dawned on us that we really are here alone . A pang of emotion struck deep in the pit of the gut . I didn’t say anything but it was Tex who said it was kind of sad . Em drove them to the airport so we headed straight to the beach . Therapy; hit the water and concentrate on what few people back home can say they’ve experienced. The Pacific Ocean ,California.Except I’m on dry dock . Didn’t take long for the screaming and fighting to take the mind off things . So we got back to the apartment and slinked into the pool and it got real quiet . Yep , a reminder like this really makes you home sick ………. ‘Howya goin’………. I looked … ‘I’m good yourself’ ……… ‘I’m better now ‘ Oh shit it’s Emma , the other Emma who’s just had a baby to Gary . ‘What’s been hapnn’  … ‘Oh ya know ‘ ……….. and so it started. Before long Emma from Tasmania who has just had a little girl, Ella to Gary from the Goldcoast was in full swing . It doesn’t take long before we are socialising with our neighbours from Australia , drinking Moscow mules and swearing like we’re on mainland Aus. Yep , nothing like taking the edge off with fellow Aussies to get over saying goodbye to Aussie friends . Hey , we are not alone  after all .

We joined Bank of America. It’s weird having to start all those basics again . Identification and credit history are one of the first and continuing obstacles we have to deal with . Medical necessities have to be proven . I’ve got to show proof that I’ve had my tuberculosis shots to work in any job involving children . All I have is a scar on my arm . So I must go and get a test shot . The kids have to get further shots .Emma and I are on basic prepaid mobile phone plans , the same as our 12 year old son ( Tex).We are still in the lengthy process of getting our drivers license. Testing , driving lessons and a driving test to come .The banking system seems basic and dated back to the early 90s Australia. Check books are still an essential requirement for paying in certain circumstances.Just 2 years ago they introduced the 4 digit pin code for paying with card,and you still sign your signature for a lot of transactions .The chip in 1st is the new requirement now but swiping your card is still common . No tap and go , yet. You can see that some places have the facility but it’s not used or even talked about.Theres an environment here that harbours suspicion on anything new that involves your money . Theres still a major petrol station chain that does not accept credit cards as a form of payment, its cash or debit card only. The ‘tap and go’ will cause vigorous public debate, as this is the place for your scammer to thrive on corrupting the system.We have a bank manager that we see regularly, Rahul. It’s a throw back to the way it used to be , service is personable . We don’t get upsold on life and job insurance . The bank staff are not pressured on quotas, they are there to serve you . They are only just moving towards a paperless system .When we told Rahul about our ‘offset’ loan on our mortgage he was like , ‘wow’! I seriously doubt you could get interest only loans and negative gearing and other cross pollinated methods of using your property equity . I’m sure you could find it but it’s not commonly there for the masses. Owning your own property here is a real privelage. There are many top earning professionals that rent rather than own . The cash society of the states is now in the midst of the card revolution that we went through 15 years ago . Cash is the fabric of the tipping culture . I rarely carry it but if your going to get out and about you need small notes to tip . It’s interesting coming from a little country on the other side of the world to find a super power like the states is well behind in certain areas . They love their technology but they don’t implement it with the speed we do . 

When the 1st opportunity arose for coming to America ,the states were weeks away from electing Hillary Clinton as their 1st female president.It didn’t have any influence on our decision to come here , but I did snigger to myself at the remote possibility that Donald Trump might get the gig . My old man did say that I might have to prepare for getting blown up if the Don got in .Of course there was never any doubt that the Trumpster would become president as I remember Mark Allen from SEN radio say 9 months earlier that he would be the next president of the United States . He lived there for 2 years and said they were crazy enough to elect him .Now that we are here I have enjoyed the media saturation on the Don . Of course he was always going to come in and stir the pot and we all secretly hoped he’d deal with that fat little North Korean who holds the greatest round of golf total of 18 hole in ones in one round. But shit it’s moving with pace now , surely something’s going to go down . If the Don stays the 5 years our fat little man from North Korea will not . You see the Don is a bully and he’s not gonna put up with someone throwing stones into his pond.All of a sudden I’m looking at all this news stuff and the possible trajectory of the little fat mans rocket is the west coast of the USA. Shit , who’s laughing now. Me.You see the doomsday preppers are back in the game again . There in the news . The ‘ Bombnado ‘ is selling at record pace . The bombnado is one of the top bomb raid shelters that you put in your house . Yep ,the post apocalyptic world that the Don can promise is good for business and thus creates jobs . Gotta love the Don .

Punxsutawney Phil lives at our house . For every day is on repeat for this groundhog.You can’t get him off his back and he rarely gets out of his Burrough. Another beautiful day , 400 m from the beach and perfect little waves to surf in with no wet suit required . No punxsutawney is in permanent hybernation . You don’t need any of that natural stuff when you’ve got you tube . See, the Punxsta  reckons that watching stuff on YouTube 12 hours of the day makes him an expert at everything .You don’t need to get out there and try stuff for yourself when you can get some brash little smartarse sending you subscriber requests to watch him act like a fuckwit .Theres winners , and that’s these guys who peddle crap for millions and then there’s the losers , your kids who watch it .I still feel like shit but I’ve taken 14000 steps, been to the beach and even went for a run. I got home and the Punxsta was still in the burrough at 1230. I flushed the toilet for him , fed him pizza and cleaned the house up . Punxsutawney Phil didn’t lift his head up to even see his shadow , he still thinks it’s winter .