I can’t get my head wet . What do you do ? You come down to the beach, of course. Decided I’d watch Leroy at beach camp . On the realisation that after 10 minutes that I’d need to ‘take the horses for a drink’ , I had no option but to get in the water from the waste down . No problem , but on my return back to my towel and belongings I caught the thief who more than likely stole my sunglasses two days previous . You see , this fucker was casing through my red target bag and was in the midst of pulling shit out of it . He’d pulled the pencil case out and had his head in there looking for something more valuable like my phone . He had a heap of his mates scouting for him  just back behind the life guards tower. I snuck up a bit and he stopped and put his head up and looked me square in the eye .’ You mother fucker ‘ , I mouthed at him . Fuck it , I charged straight at the dirty fucker . He took off and then dropped back down low from a safe distance . His mates spread back to the opening of the storm drain . I checked the bag and I couldn’t find my goddam phone . Fark! Surely he couldn’t of grabbed that ,its way too much of an ask . No , I found it in my pocket . I just took it for a dip in the ocean while I was relieving myself . Terrific. Fortunately it was still operational as I quickly dried it off with my tee shirt. More than likely gave it a good acid bath in urine , but very fortunate that it wasn’t submersed for any length of time .Your never gonna catch these little thieves for they are Pacific gulls. Yep , birds . These big seagull like things are brazen when it comes to stalking your belongings ,looking for food . They’l drag your stuff out looking for something to snack on . A gull had just previously flew off with a full bag of chips that were unopened from another families belongings .  It seems a long bow to draw but my oakliegh sunglasses were sitting in my cap as Tex and I surfed right in front . I saw the birds close to our stuff but wasn’t worried as there was no food . I didn’t see a person get within 10 meters of our belongings . I reckon it picked it up briefly and probably dropped it far enough away from my towel for someone to pick up a nice little prize on their daily beach walk .This bird had just been in my bag . Apparently Los Angles beaches are prime targets for thieves . It was just that I had my eye on the non feathered variety .

The shopping centre is a fascinating place . It still hasn’t lost its buzz . Everyday you enter the many grocery outlets that are available and you’ll find some stuff that you don’t see at home.The fruit and vegetable aisles are very similar . Actually I’m very impressed with the taste of their apples , grapes and bananas. The quality is high . The only thing that you don’t see much of is pumpkin, which is weird when you consider Halloween. The yogurt choice isn’t as good as the Aussies , in fact the dairy produce is inferior to ours .Noosa yogurt is getting a foothold and it’s the best I’ve tasted over here , but even they have shifted their line of attack to attract the Sweet tooth. Yogurt with salted caramel. America has an infatuation with adding sugar to most of their products. Almost all bread is sweet and then it’s their confectionary which is hyped with fake tasting super sweet shit. Yuk, The cereal aisle is a crack up or should I say crack den . Some of the names of the products are hilarious, check this one belowGotta love the Golden Grahams .The Mexican aisles are extensive , it’s a big part of their regular cuisine .Alcohol … love it for its price and it’s massive range . I ‘ l come back to it another time but you can even by cocktails in a can . Then it’s the other stuff , check this fish on cedar thing .This salmon is actually marinated and attached to a plank of cedar all in a vacuum seal bag . There’s shit over here that’s out there and it’s endless . They’l reinvent the wheel on anything food .  Look at these bad boys above. BBQ is an art form over here and I’m developing a love for their sauces . I previously disliked this type of stuff but I’m coming around fast . In fact I ‘l need to get a supply of these sauces to bring home , much like the supply of Vegemite we brought to the US.Even Emma is big on these bad boys.If you can find a rack of pork or beef ribs ,you rub this stuff over it , wrap it in foil and stick it in the oven for 4 hours at 120 . Taste : outstanding .The rib range is a real area we can take a big advantage of in Australia. Over here it’s their ‘roast lamb’ . Speaking of which , it’s not something that you do or could afford over here . I l leave it at that for now but there is much more yet.

After doing some initial investigating on the health system I have made it my goal to stay out of a doctors surgery. Of course when you publicly declare to your family and friends that this is your intention you are almost certainly doomed . In Australia I’d see the doctor about once in every 5 years . With those stats I’m surely well placed to live up to my statement . Already I  have just avoided a visit on a foot wound that really should of been stitched up by the doc. After being very sore for a couple of weeks I punched the air and smiled to myself and said ,’you got out of that one nicely Howie’. The system is foreign to what we’re used to in Australia and as I’ve previously blogged it is intimidating and expensive .So keeping fit and not working should galvanise my position of being doctor free, but no . 8 days, that’s how long my ear has been blocked for. My head has a pillow stuck inside it and all I can hear is my heartbeat pumping through the right side of my head . I took action and hit the chemist 1st with drops and anti inflammatories then after that failed I raided the 1st aid kit and found a 10 pack of antibiotics. I checked them on line (cephelaxin) and you beauty they can be used to treat ear infection.With 3 tablets left there’s been no improvement .Of course  I have to admit it felt like it was improving , that was until yesterday I got the ear wet. After staying out of the water for 5 days I took Tex down to the beach and I brought the surfboard down just in case the swell pushed up past the 1 foot range . I had no intention of going out , just wanted to feel the board under the arm . Of course to my surprise (bullshit) the waves had finally come back . Fuck it , I’ve got some ear plugs ,out I go . On returning to my towel I notice that my sunglasses are no longer on my towel . The 1 st warning of impending doom should of been alarm enough . So here I am , having got here at 9 am , only to be told that the minute clinic (operated by nurse ) isn’t open until 10 am at this destination . I’m the second in the queue to plug my details into the computer at 10 01 . I’m still sitting here and it’s 1045 ………Ok, I’m out at 1130 . The nurse was very thorough . Diagnosis: perforated ear drum . You are fucking kidding .A strong dose of oral antibiotics and a steroidal antibiotic ear drops . I’m told that they’re  not sure that our family cover that Em gets through her work salary will cover me . The drops that she wanted to give me were priced in excess of $100 . I said no , i’l risk it for a cheaper less effective version . Turns out the coverage is applicable . Previously I’d argued strongly of taking the low or intermediate option of cover but Em went higher and thus a fair chunk of her salary would be sacrificed for this . Lucky for me , as the whole process cost me $34. It would of cost around$300 for one of the many Americans who had basic cover or none at all . That aside , I’m now marooned on shore for a week . I have to see a doctor to get the all clear or a referral to an ear and eye specialist . Just great . Guess what ? After 3 weeks of near flat conditions the ocean is finally throwing up some nice waves . Lesson learnt , shut the fuck up about being the one who doesn’t get sick .

Gay marriage was legalised in California in 2008.June 27 ,2015 the Supreme Court made it official nation wide . We’re talking about a country that has some of the most conservative communities and a middle America that got Donald Trump all the way to the presidency. Red necks , scientologists, evangelists ,Salt Lake City ( the Mormon capital of the world ) and the rust belt of America . This joint is crazy and there’s a lot of things that you shake your head at an ask , why? Here’s the thing ,they’re still collectively ahead of Australia when it comes to sexual equality and same sex marriage .I admit that I can and have marginalised minorities in the past but I’m embarrassed to say that you can’t have same sex marriage in Australia .A plebiscite is pathetic . Do what you were voted in for and pass a bill and then get on with the more important stuff of running the country.I like that the Supreme Court in the USA pulled rank and upheld a common right and it is now normal .  So simple ,let’s move on .

This is the California I will always remember when I eventually leave .Every Sunday afternoon here at Hermosa Beach there is some type of event .We have just started a 4 week concert series with a large stage set on the sand . There’s a big crowd getting stuck into it and theres a vibe that is so unique , like nothing I could of imagined that I’d ever see. This cover painting really captures the Hermosa glow . It’s the vivid orange and pinks that the suns throws out over here . Throw in some classic rock tunes and a menagerie of Californian folk and you’ve got something special . I swear I’ve seen this in a movie somewhere , no I’ve  seen it many times . This is looking from the pier back at the mass . You see characters right out of Point Break , The lost boys ,Bay watch and even Beverly Hills 90210 all mixed together , only they’re real . There’s never been a walk that I’ve enjoyed so much than a Sunday afternoon stroll down to the strand . I swear ,I feel I’m walking into a movie scene . Next week we’l be taking the 500m walk down to the sand with our red cups and soaking the Californian vibe while sucking in the tunes from Everclear . Oh yeah .      I hear it’s cold back there .   Anyway here’s a poorly shot video to cheer ya s up​

Emma woke up to a mild tremor the other morning . It can happen when you eat the fuckn hottest vindaloo that you can buy from a supermark.The San Andreas fault just happens to run the entire length of California.This fault line is where the Pacific plate meets the Northern American plate . It also happens to be one of the most active fault lines in the world .40 million people live in California. Last week alone their were 30 minor quakes registered from LA to Sandiego .Our kids are required to buy these earthquake kits for school where their teacher will store them in clsss for that special day .The southern end of the fault line which ends inland of San Diego hasn’t had a major eruption for 330 years . Experts believe 1 is long over due as it is normal to have a major quake every 150 to 200 years.These pamphlets are regularly supplied throughout the year. There are tsunami evacuation signs on all the streets at the top of the small rise we live on . Why do people want to keep moving here ?On 1 aerial shot the fault actually runs directly beneath a housing estate . I’m sure there’s some lawyers rubbing their hands together on this 1. The fault line is converging at 1 inch ayear, but here’s the thing . In some spots it hasn’t closed up for a few years . Experts are expecting a correction soon . There’s been some catastrophic shakes in California and it’s just a matter of time before the next 1 strikes . Just hope it happens when I’m not here .

The beach. I’m here again. Yep I know Melbournes freezing but it’s not here. Apart from 4 days in Palm Springs I think I havn’t been at the beach twice .I’l say I’ve missed a week . It’s not fair is it , a week is a lot to miss ,but I’m gonna tough it out.Im still quarantined from the water with a bung ear . Em hates the beach and is out getting a pedicure so it’s up to me to watch the boys . The yanks love the beach too. It’s the things that they like to do down here that’s intriguing . Drinking out of red cups is big , always spirits and why not when you can get shit faced on under$10. Volleyball is practically a religion,enough said.Corn hole is also big . Yeah I know what your thinking , corn goes in one hole and comes out another. I’ve seen some serious movies where the whole cob goes in and out and in and , geezuz I’ve lost my train of thought. Yeah it’s that game where you throw a little beanbag on to a stilted timber platform with a whole in it .They love this game , it’s there version of table tennis .Spike ball is also big . You see these little trampolines on the beach with guys huddled around it smacking it in to the tramp , diving around and roaring with excitement. Paddle ball is another . A bit like table tennis without the ball . Right now I’ve got two dudes trying to get a 200 hit rally up 10 meters in front of my direct line of sight to the beach .Get the fuck out of my way dudes I’m missing out on this chick duck diving through the waves , yeah and my kids and all .They got a sweat up and didn’t even get wet before leaving. .Is it just me but the beach has water , most of the time with waves and if that’s no good what about the perve factor .One of the greatest trends in modern fashion is currently in full swing , the pulled up hard up the clacker bikini bottom . I say ,keep your sunnies on and your eyes focused, that way your balls will have plenty of bounce later on.

Every morning at 930 this plane flys over head on the Southbay . It’s a Qantas jet , yep this big bird is going home . Surreal , I rarely miss it for I’m in the surf of the Pacific Ocean looking up.You wonder , are there are Aussies doing the same as me ?I took this photo while the kids were playing in the small slappers which crumbled to shore.The surf has flattened right out in the height of summer. The last 6 weeks has produced no more than a handful of days that have been rideable . The slowdown , long summers days , the kids at the beach . Right now days are at their longest . It’s got quiet too as there is a lot going on there annual vacation to escape the perfect summer days to head to Mexico to find even more perfect summer days .Don Henlys Boys of Summer comes to mind .I’m spoilt to be here but you still feel detached . Is this really my gig , will I ever feel at home?Every things muffled now as my ears are shutting down . Too much water has been continually trapped and now swelling and probably infection is turning my head thick. Yeah , even thicker than before.Ive made the call to stay dry , no body surfing , no water of any kind . We don’t want to go to the doctors , as I’ve previously stated ,that is a scenario to avoid over here.So right now I’m looking at the clouds run through my mind with a ssshhhing sound on slow hum operating at mid cycle. Occasionally I’ve gotta look up to see that Leroys still there , then it’s back to daydreaming  about ‘never looking back and the days when summer has gone’.Shit this ear thing is making me delirious. Never mind it’s only a couple of hours before that natural numbing in a can can do its magic. Yep , Friday night should slow things down even more.

I’ve been trying to get to the bottom of this riddle for 6 months. Finding information on wages ,conditions and job availability in LA  is like learning a new language. The net is set up in to forcing you to commit your details in order to maybe, getting some of your questions answered.After doing so your email and messages are then held hostage to job recruiting companies and surveys . The answers that you eventually get are laughable for the vague imformation you receive. The aquirement of your details for invasive advertising  is out of control and my phone gets numerous email alerts 24 hours of the day. Yep I’m naive ,and most of you will tell me this is normal but is it normal to just stomp my phone into a million pieces so I don’t have to be accosted anymore . Ok , a skilled trade like a plumber or electrician might earn around $22 per hour . A caulker I don’t know , but a construction worker $17 per hour. Wow , that’s 25% above the average wage according to one site. Trying to find out why a caulker is hardly needed here is also unclear , at least if you search on line .After talking to a few people and looking on line for building requirements I’ve come to the conclusion that the building codes are lax in comparison to Australia. Expansion joints in brick work or any solid walls , no.Concrete slabs are just left to crack without any sawcuts , tiling all grouted and left to crack and finishes to top end joinery and skirting is left exposed with gaps for all to see . Their standards are lower than ours .Just stuff timber into gaps. Specialty trades are not needed because they are not mandatory. Finally , this is going to get me into trouble , but when you’ve had a mass migration of an underclass ( not their fault) who will do any menial work at a low rate of pay , you drag down the conditions for a large sector of the community. If it cracks just get it patched for cheap , and then repeat the cycle every 2 years , rather than paying more initially to get it done professionally . Painters are everywhere here and from what I’ve seen ,added to my acutely attuned sense of suspicion ,their standards of finish are lower, I doubt if many are qualified  . Balustrading is one of the things that I’m taken aback with . Our place is borderd with cheap plastic stuff that I’d fall through after a  big night on the booze . I don’t get why their standards are low when you have a society that loves to sue. In Australia we probably get over paid , but i’l say this, we build safer and better and that’s the way it should stay , cause I’ve seen the alternative and we don’t want it 

Big business is tutoring in this part of the world .60% is the pass mark , 70%gives you a C, 80%gives you a B, 90% gets you an A. Nothing short of a B is the real expectation here.During this extraordinary (11weeks) long summer break the tutoring business goes into over drive. Looking on line I found 2452 tutors in our region . It is encouraged by teachers that you keep your kids actively learning over the break as they lose some of what they’ve learnt  throughout the year .Crazy , Our kids have had 6 weeks off now and it’s incredible to think they’ve just tipped into the 2nd half of their break.I havn’t bothered to properly research the logic of this long break , but the teachers recommendation that some type of tuition would help retain their learnings is damming enough for me .The logistics required of dual working parents ( the vast majority) over the summer period must be trying.Who ever implemented this system  better get back to school and learn some common sense.Tex goes to the tutor to improve his maths. He’l be there for 1 hour shared with another student for $35 per hour . They want him to come 4 hours a week . No , it’s 2 or not at all . It’s a war zone in this house when it comes time to pushing him out the door to see his tutor . The average ask for tutoring is $65 per hour  but there are many who ask in excess of $100 per hour . You only have to drive around Hermosa Beach and you’ll see’ after school ‘and ‘Holliday tutors’ situated on prominent corners of the major roads , they compete with fast food outlets for visual attention. According to our tutor there is quite a few Aussie kids who come into see him . It is recognised that the Aussie approach is relaxed and thus the kids need to be brought up to speed . It’s college or trailer trash . A fall back into the ‘trades’ is met with eyebrows raised and a step back .Of course living in an affluent area like the South Bay also brings an expectation from our tutor that we bring Tex in as much as possible on a one on one permanent basis for $70 per hour , just like some of his other Aussie families do . I’ve finally educated them that we are not one of ‘those Aussie families’ and a cheaper alternative needs to be found , hence $35 per hour shared with another student. It’s not just average students that are tutored it’s kids at all levels . It’s competitive and it’s a race to get ahead. Can’t wait for the summer break to end. Then it’s back to school and pouring on the large amount of homework to make up for time lost . Yep, I know another way .