Disney Chanel .Need I say anything ! My kids are addicted .Meaning I’m forced to induce this crap. Had to sit through the Disney music awards just then . I think I might jump in the car and listen to the gangster rap stuck on my radio .I think I’m losing them quick .All the fake laughs ,the contrivedness .The wholesome American humour. there lapping it up .Shit they’ll be yanks in no time .Makes me want to cry.

This is the first day I haven’t seen the sun . I actually quite like it .Its getting a little boring not being able to talk about the weather .whats to talk about when it’s sunny and 26 degrees all the time .Theres a major weather event on the horizon .The weather forecasters are in a flap about it .Rain ! On Sunday .Ive been told by a school dad that they literally don’t play sport in the rain here everything cancels and people don’t venture out .Im looking forward to that because this joint is never quiet.Even during my 3rd consecutive day (that’s right 3 days in a row   Yeeha!) of self discovery out in the surf you can hear a constant low level boom of traffic and planes and just noise that’s always there . Then there’s the smell . The ocean here has a thick briney tang to it that sometimes emits a yeasty dog shit like waft to it . It must be ok because there’s plenty of life in the water. A seal came up to within 5 meters of us yesterday and held itself upright and fully scoped us out for a good 10 seconds . This morning several dolphins also came in close and I noticed they have a fair  dorsal fin as well .The commercial fisherman circle there nets real close too .You can see their haul jumping out of the water with seals and birds swarming . Yep it’s always busy 

2nd day out in the surf . Now let me be up front the waves are small and weak at the moment but are fun and the self discovery therapy gained will balance out the home and kitchen duties . It’s weird sitting in the water along side a large pier . You never saw yourself ever being in a place like this .Large long beaches patrolled by lifeguards in there big red pickups just like out of Baywatch . Yeah plenty to look at too . Plastic surgeons are sure busy over here . You know out there I was thinking I’m actually in the Pacific Ocean the same one that buts up to Australia’s east coast .And at that moment the weirdest thing happened , a plane flew low overhead after taking off at LAX and it had the distinctive red tail with a kangaroo on it  . No creative license there totally true . Yep close but so far .

Yep after finally getting in the water the pressure eased.Or did it .Did my daily shopping errands (was running a bit late on account of trying to get 1 more wave)  picked kids up . All cool . No.I forgot a few items ,missed the vacuuming and linen . Shit it’s all good isn’t it? Was told it needed to be done tomorrow . I said I’m not sure I can darling as wednesdays are short school days and on the account i’l be needing a couple of hours for surfing and personal growth it leaves me with not enough time . That’s why I’m thinking if you push hard at work and get that bonus a nanny or cleaner could be real handy . She looked at me and said” your fuckn kidding aren’t you “. 

Not quite there yet . After 13 days straight of consistent surf the board arrives and then on cue the surf goes flat . A bit like the tv . So banal. 15 million people live here and all we get is the same 3 stories on all day repeat on multiple news channels . We have multiple channels that talk trump and his policies 24 hours a day . Now I know I live at the self proclaimed centre of the universe but fuck is this it ? Does anyone else live out there ? I haven’t mastered my car radio yet as I’m still on high alert mode as  I nearly went head onto incoming traffic once again .After mounting the curb to avoid the carnage it’s probably the only bit of surfing I’ve done so far . Oh yeah the radio is stuck on the top40 station . The rap crap that plays here is is astonishingly bad .Dominated by that gangster sound that one particular group puts out there on mass . No wonder they like to shoot each other from time to time .Lets get positive it is another perfect day out there and guess what I’m gonna work on my tan real soon 

Yep one of my favourites . Now everyone knows you can buy water and a few different types but alkaline and extra hydrated! Wtf . You might need those products after you’ve hit the grog aisle ,cause I love these aisles . We are talking the super market folks right next to the baby products . I feel that I’m totally justified to try something new every time I go through there at the prices offered . And shit there’s warehouses I’ve yet ventured that are so much cheaper that I best stay away from   For now 

We’ve driven to Torrance to get our social security number . Seated and waiting for our call .yep this is a throw back to Frankston 1989 .Maybe the only Anglos here . (Leave it alone pc ers ) The staff are real happy with there job too .Felt like they just wanted to flush us but we got out of there as official residents of the US of A .I am allowed to work . I think il start with my tan 

Yep we are Aussies through and through but already change is in the wings. Leroy is throwing a grid iron ball around and he wants a goddam baseball bat already !Tex well he’s always doin what the locals are doin . And soccer is big here and guess what! Holy fuckn sacralidge Leroy is about to join. If he doesn’t do it he’s the odd 1 out I told them the saints smashed the hawks and they just shrugged there shoulders!Fuck now I’m all alone, what am I to do. The only bonus is I l be able to wear my footy jumper without people looking at me like I’m low on IQ (wanted to use other descriptive but better not )Yes I did buy 1 for that very reason. Hmmm can’t bring myself to put it on just yet .

15th day in a row of perfect weather. Sunny and in mid to late 20s .Its a place where you feel you’ve gotta get out and about .It explains why it’s so busy . Lifestyle wise it makes sense because a large chunk(us) live in apartments and townhouses without yards . And as I’ve said the tv here is something that is going to take awhile to get used to . Too many adds and the news is too insular. But once you get out and do something other than exercise the choice is dizzying because they love to sell you stuff ! And the array of fast food and convenience stores to fatten you up is crazy . I’ve just gotta brace myself because as we know shopping is a sport and I’m truly married to an Olympic athlete in this field

Wholly shit it was windy here the other day . After dropping Leroy off I noticed a massive shadow on the horizon . A big and I mean big mountain range had been hidden on the horizon by the haze or should I say smog .After 2 weeks it appeared !Each night when showering I’m surprised at how much dirt shows on the face washer after cleaning the back of your ears. Yep it has dawned on me that the air here is heavily polluted .LA has a love for cars and hence the traffic is something that is a conversation point like the weather back in Aus . Traffic lights . Plenty of m .And fuck do you have to wait. There so patient and courteous in traffic but after 2weeks I’m already bringing my Melbourne driving to LA . Cursing and carrying on while EJ shakes her head and thinks that fuckn road chaos is just another facet of LA you gotta grow to love . Hmmm patience , can’t I just say it s fucked up!